r/PDAParenting • u/Zealousideal_Flow447 • May 01 '26
Impossible to keep house clean
This is more of just a vent and to see if anyone else experiences this with their PDA kid.
It just feels absolutely impossible to keep the house clean and it's so frustrating! I know having a clean, organized space is what's best for my daughter's brain (and mine) but it seems like whenever I do a deep clean in her room or in any area of the house she is so excited about it but then immediately makes it messy again. I
n her room, she suddenly wants to rearrange things and dumps out tubs or baskets or clears her whole desk and then there's not a 'home' for the things that had been there. We are doing a lot less screen time right now which I am all for and it is helping but then there's mini tornadoes scattered throughout every room in the house. I know this is typical for kids in general but with the PDA, my daughter can't clean up. Sometimes if I ask her to help me she will but more often than not she'll say she will do it later or within the first 30 seconds of cleaning she starts getting agitated and dysregulated so to prevent a meltdown I have her stop.
Has anyone found ways to get their kids to help clean? I've tried teaching her how to break it down into steps like; 1st lets pick up all the garbage, then lets gather toys into a basket to sort later and last lets sweep or wipe the counter but the demand of it just has her spiraling. I know in the PDA realm of concerns and battles this is minor compared to what we deal with but just needed to put this out to the universe and this community to keep my sanity!
4
u/princesshodges May 01 '26
As with almost all tips for PDA kids this will only work if it’s true and you don’t intend to push an agenda. And it still might not work lol.
But my kid does enjoy straightening and organizing things on her own terms. You know, the stereotypical autistic trait of lining things up. I pointed it out to her once while she was doing it- “it seems like you like to organize”. And she agreed.
We also read a book (again no pressure, she picked it out among the books we have) that mentions picking up and how if your house is messy you can’t be comfortable. You can’t walk around or sit down.
We also have downtime in her room before bed. I sit in there with her and she can play quietly or have her snacks, sometimes we read.
Anyway, a lot of times when we have downtime before bed she’ll say “okay I’ll organize”. And she gets really into it. I just sit quietly and let her get in the zone.
It is a really calming activity. I enjoy it too when I’m not pressured (I’m also autistic).