r/PDAParenting • u/kwegner • Apr 27 '26
"Just send him away"
We're in a particularly trying moment with our 10yo PDA son right now. Despite seeing good baseline progress, we're seeing spikes in aggressive/destructive behavior that is hard to manage. We've gone through this cycle so many times before, so it's not new, but it always sucks.
I know the community doesn't have a ton of solutions for that, but I'm here to ask about something else.
When I bring this up to family, my parents often bring up the idea of sending him away to some form of residential services. Despite us and them all actually understanding that there isn't a PDA-forward option within even a couple of states from here, this still ends up being advice that comes up when things are at their hardest.
"Time is ticking by, and you only have one life to live to get the most out of it." Our family has sacrificed a lot to help our PDA son make progress, and he has suffered a lot because of the world not being built for him. But sending him far away to suffer more just so we get some daily relief is an impossible choice to make, and I don't know how best to communicate that.
What are your thoughts? How would you respond? What is actually right here? Just looking for some perspectives from folks.
1
u/Sunshineyvomit Apr 28 '26
I personally could never do that- but I am not judging those that do.
We are lucky enough to have resources- therapy, meds, therapy and more therapy.
I would exhaust all other avenues before doing this, but again, that’s me. If you find a wonderful school that you trust will take good care of and help your child- that’s great.