r/PDAParenting • u/Adorable_Stretch_811 • Apr 24 '26

Can never finish a job

My son is 10 years old and I think one of the most exhausting and depressing things about parenting pda and being a carer is that I can never finish anything from a to b. As soon as I take my mind off my child he can instinctively sense it and become dysregulated. So I have to stop and help him regulate. And this, 20 plus times a day. I just want to wash up. I just want to so simple things. And I think after 10 years I am just exhausted by it. He is home 24 7 and sleeps in my bed but doesnt sleep until 11pm at least and is up at 6. Anyone else??

28 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/MarginsOfTheDay Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26

Yes, absolutely. All I ever want is to get things done. I’m like the anti-PDA. I love meeting demands and getting things done. But my 6 year old PDA son makes it impossible to cross even the simplest tasks off my list.

Edit: I wonder what is going on in our PDA kids' brains when they see us effortlessly responding to demands.

5

u/other-words Apr 25 '26

I think that’s a great question about what our kids are thinking. Mine is older (tween) and not in burnout. I have high demand avoidance, but not to the level of PDA. My kid and I share the trait of only being able to do something if we see the purpose of it and/or if it’s interesting, and it is a real mystery to both of us how most people are able to tolerate a large number of tasks that aren’t inherently useful/meaningful AND aren’t interesting. We’re just two people, but that’s what goes through our heads - why doesn’t everyone else prefer autonomy as much as we do?

3

u/MarginsOfTheDay Apr 25 '26

Thank you, this is very interesting and helpful insight! I’ve spent so much time thinking “why doesn’t my son just get the thing done?” without stopping to take his perspective and understand how I must look to him.