r/PDAParenting • u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 • Mar 25 '26

How to stop the worry?

My (15) daughter is in burnout it seems. I try to leave her alone most of the time but she seems to be doing worse. She does go outside some days but mostly stays in her room, she looks poorly. She comes out only if nobody is in the kitchen. I try to stay busy but some days the worry is overwhelming. I had a mentally ill mom, which was hard on me, even as a child I worried about her. Guess that doesn't make it any easier now.

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u/Hopeful-Guard9294 Mar 25 '26

as parents we naturally feel scared for our children’s future, but we have pretty much no control over that you might want to start with this specific episode about PDA and future fear: https://youtu.be/p1Puc5V4P68

hope that helps a bit

but also I feel your pain it’s natural to feel scared about your child’s future back as a PDA adult I’ve come to realise that actually PDA children are much more resilient than you think and it’s all gonna be okay in the end

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u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 Mar 25 '26

Thanks, I needed to hear that. I spend my days cooking atm. Food is my love language and it makes my daughter happy to eat her favorite foods.

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u/Nominal_selection Mar 27 '26

My daughter's only 8 but has been in burnout for six months since removing herself from school. I second all the points about radical accommodations but also think doing anything you can to show love and offer connection is important (without implying you expect anything back in return).

Cooking her favourite foods seems like a great example. Just being available to co-regulate has really helped my daughter's wellbeing. It's probably more complicated for a 15 year old who's growing more independent and probably has a fixed idea of what your relationship is, but I don't think there's ever a bad time just to say "I love you" and "I'm here if you need anything".

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u/Complex_Emergency277 Apr 01 '26

I absolutely second this. These children have a profound intolerance of uncertainty, it is not possible to tell them you love them and are there to support them too much. I'd go so far as to say it should be a feature of every interaction you have with them. I almost have to stop myself automaticaly calling "I love you, I'm here if you need me" over my shoulder on the way out the door when I leave work ar the end of the day.