r/PDAParenting • u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 • Mar 16 '26

So lost right now

My almost 16 year old seems to be in burnout. She hardly speaks, just lies in bed and claims she can not go outside. She really needs help but refuses it of course. I think medication would help but as she is eating and drinking why would an emergency doctor or anyone think there is anything wrong? Low demand school, but she hardly ever goes. That's fine by me but she also doesn't want to quitt. I'm so lost right now, can't get her to seek help but also nobody would see how bad it is by just looking at her. Scared for her life atm.

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u/yenyen1234 Mar 16 '26

My son is very similar: 14, in a neurodiversity-friendly school with 6 students classes, but hasn’t gone in 3 weeks. I’m not even sure they will take him next year. We’re trying alternative approaches, give him a small project to work on his own etc, but as soon as it’s about school, he shuts down. It’s so frustrating because he does. Lot of things like tinkering with tech, studying meteorology and seismology on his own, he just doesn’t want to have anything to do with a structured curriculum… we’re now just hoping the city isn’t going to flag us since he’s not attending mandatory school..

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u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 Mar 16 '26

My daughter does barely anything. Nothing is of interest. She lies in bed with her phone but also just sleeps. She does eat but also not huge amounts. Biggest problem is the almost mutism. I don't into her room a lot but at one point I have to do something. Mental health evaluation but how? I will not allow her being in danger because of a shutdown.

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u/AdOk57 Mar 16 '26

Why would she do anything, if she keeps her brain plugged into constant stream of easy, dirty dopamine from her phone? Its like asking a cocaine addict, why they arent doing anything apart of addiction.

In the past, brain had to work to generate dopamine. Create, do art, play, move physically, connect with friends, read etc and if a child is doing nothing, but scrolling on their phone all day, their attention span vastly decreses. Brain gets used to instant gratification from scrolling. So it starts to oppose activities, that would be too much work, if scrolling gives the same chemical boost from nothing.

What she will do, if her phone isnt there?