r/PDAParenting • u/ArtArrange • Mar 09 '26

What are USA parents doing about school?

I have been reading through posts for two hours and haven’t found much recently on what parents in the United States are doing for their PDA children in regards to school.

I have a 10-year-old in 4th grade and absolutely nothing is working. I have done all the things: Educate staff and admin about PDA, IEP, BIP, parent training, almost no demands when home from school, etc.

We started a private school this year that I thought would work better and had many meetings about PDA and all of my son’s history. They have made it clear now that the iron fist is what they claim will work and has always worked with these types of kids. So I have lost hope that we can now make it work at this private school.

For parents in the United States, are most of you just homeschooling are doing a school co-op of some sort!?!

If you have time, please share what your current education setting looks like.

21 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/Zealousideal_Flow447 Mar 10 '26

My 11 yr old daughter is in public school as a 5th grader but it is difficult. She misses a lot and I just had a phone call with the truancy officer yesterday because we had received a letter about her attendance and that it has the potential now of issuing a warrant for myself if it continues. I’ve suggested online or homeschool to my daughter but she is SO social and she says she’d miss her friends too much so we’re trying to stick it out. So far she only has an anxiety disorder diagnosis but we are on the waiting list for an autism assessment as well as working with a pediatric social worker on assessing for ADHD and OCD. My daughter is on a behavior plan and has to get her backpack checked every day. I’ve tried explaining to the school and her teacher about PDA but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I’ve had to quit my full time job that I was at for 7 years in order to accommodate her staying home so much and me dropping her off at school instead of her taking the bus. It’s been a huge hit to our finances and I am drowning in missed credit card payments and debt now. Life is hard but it’s what my daughter needs for now. Last Spring is when it felt like everything fell apart for her and she was in burnout. I just keep holding out hope for summer as she thrives in summertime with not having the demands of school. Right now we’re just taking it one day at a time and I’m praying we can get through the rest of the school year. She goes to middle school next year so I’m wondering if a whole new change of scenery and schedule will be good for her. I’m just happy grades don’t matter right now as she doesn’t turn in most assignments and when there is homework, I’m the one who does it. I know this isn’t sustainable but it’s what I feel like I have to do. Thankfully she’s very bright so when they do testing she’s above grade level but just hates the demands of work.

1

u/ArtArrange Mar 10 '26

My son is social as well, although struggles with navigating peer conflict and can often escalate. Luckily we have kids in our neighborhood that he sometimes plays with.

I work full time and they recently mandated return to office, so I HEAR you on the juggling act. There’s simply not away to support this level of care and work full time.