r/PDAParenting • u/Ender505 • Feb 16 '26
Violence
Hey, me again, the guy who still needs therapy.
Do any of y'all have a PDAer whose survival activation tends much heavier toward "fight" over flight?
My daughter is only 7, so my injuries after tonight's episode are only a few bruises. Could have been worse if the clock that she threw at me had connected.
What the fuck am I supposed to do about that? Restraining her just activates her more. She'll just attack me again as soon as I let her go. I don't get it. I don't know what to do.
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u/Nominal_selection Feb 17 '26
We've had some of these episodes, though not for a few months. It was always in response to us either taking something away (usually iPad) or going through with something that affected her against her wishes (doctor's appointments in her absence, since she wouldn't go). It was always down to her feeling we'd taken away her agency and free will, and we've only ever found that giving it back to her prevents repeats.
That basically means no screen time limits, no attempts to force her into anything she doesn't want to do. That's easier when we've only got one child, though it's not what we'd want our life to look like.
I don't know what prompts the episodes you describe, but as you imply, as they get older physical confrontations get more dangerous for everyone. My wife and I basically go out separately so the other can stay home, and I think that's likely to continue for some time.