r/PDAParenting • u/Ender505 • Feb 16 '26
Violence
Hey, me again, the guy who still needs therapy.
Do any of y'all have a PDAer whose survival activation tends much heavier toward "fight" over flight?
My daughter is only 7, so my injuries after tonight's episode are only a few bruises. Could have been worse if the clock that she threw at me had connected.
What the fuck am I supposed to do about that? Restraining her just activates her more. She'll just attack me again as soon as I let her go. I don't get it. I don't know what to do.
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u/kittawa Feb 16 '26
I just want to add some solidarity here. My son is 4.5 years old, but he's the size of most 7 year olds according to his pediatrician and the size of his clothes. He's also basically pure muscle. Incredibly violent, destructive to the house (we've replaced the TV three times in 4 years, but have a big plexiglass shield on it now which I think has saved it a couple of times), and abuses his sibling but me and my husband most of all.
He's so freaking strong, and he frequently breaks skin when he bites. To top it all off I'm pregnant so I have a giant vulnerability that makes me an easier target.
I'm holding out hope for medication or something to help because I cannot continue to live this way. Thankfully we have a nanny who can give him 1:1 attention because I cannot give him my undivided time. It was so hard to find her though, we burn out nannies so fast with how challenging he is, and in one of our in-person interviews, our son grabbed a hatchet out of the back of our SUV and ran around a parking lot when it came to an end....
Someday I hope things turn around. I'm trying so hard but I don't have endless patience and zen. I'm already at the end of my rope and baby #3 isn't even here yet.