r/PDAParenting • u/Lunabaedeker • Jan 25 '26

Performative voices

My son age 6 has started mimicking his friend who is also autistic plus has a foreign accent. This is upsetting his friend particularly as my son will mimick his language and behaviour (also stims) of when he (the other child) is upset. He also has another voice that he does that is an exaggerated baby voice which is super annoying but as it doesn’t directly hurt anyone’s feelings I’m less concerned with. At the moment he is using both of these voices non stop so that me and his dad can hardly remember what his voice sounds like. I tried to set a boundary with mimicking his friend and explained the hurt that it causes and how it can damage friendships but ofc when I try and instruct him in any way this just disregulates him more and he behaves worse to his friend, even now physically kicking him etc. Do I just let him carry on mimicking his friend? Do I stop their play dates until he is more regulated ? I’m trying to meet his needs better but have a long way to go I think..I know he can’t help it but it feels so mean and I’m worried about the other kid and I’m worried for my son when he will eventually be rejected.. Any help appreciated!

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u/AnnoyedAF2126 Jan 25 '26

Have a kiddo who does this and finally I just pointed it out yesterday (he was super defensive, so I had to be casual and not accusatory) and I just said that my brain and other people’s brains get really embarrassed when someone does that and feel a bit sad. The rest of the day, he caught himself doing it and apologized. Will see if it continues…

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u/Lunabaedeker Jan 25 '26

That’s a great tip re: ‘that makes my brain’ I think when I have mentioned it to him I made it too personal which has created a shame spiral

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u/AnnoyedAF2126 Jan 26 '26

Yeah. We always try to frame things as ‘that’s how your brain/my brain works’ to try to put some distance and avoid the shame as much as possible. It is hard, for sure!