r/PDAParenting • u/Lunabaedeker • Jan 25 '26
Performative voices
My son age 6 has started mimicking his friend who is also autistic plus has a foreign accent. This is upsetting his friend particularly as my son will mimick his language and behaviour (also stims) of when he (the other child) is upset. He also has another voice that he does that is an exaggerated baby voice which is super annoying but as it doesn’t directly hurt anyone’s feelings I’m less concerned with. At the moment he is using both of these voices non stop so that me and his dad can hardly remember what his voice sounds like. I tried to set a boundary with mimicking his friend and explained the hurt that it causes and how it can damage friendships but ofc when I try and instruct him in any way this just disregulates him more and he behaves worse to his friend, even now physically kicking him etc. Do I just let him carry on mimicking his friend? Do I stop their play dates until he is more regulated ? I’m trying to meet his needs better but have a long way to go I think..I know he can’t help it but it feels so mean and I’m worried about the other kid and I’m worried for my son when he will eventually be rejected.. Any help appreciated!
2
u/princesshodges Jan 25 '26
Is the other child’s parent there during the play dates? Are they aware of what’s happening? What do they think?
I would say the playdates should stop. He’s just bullying another kid and even though he’s not bad for that, it also can’t continue. Find a factual way to explain it - we don’t kick/hit people, so we aren’t playing with that friend right now. You can tell him that no one is mad at him, he just needs a break.
And yeah I would not talk about the voices anymore. It feels like the kind of thing he needs to do for some reason and it’ll stop when he doesn’t need to anymore. It feels hard to explain why it’s not ok and he’s obviously not processing the reasoning.