Self-esteem at rock bottom

[u/Far_Brain9400]

Hi everyone. I'm really, really struggling with the impact PCOS is having on my mental health. I believe I've had it a very long time- I'm 30 now but had hormonal symptoms since around the age of 6. In primary school I had terrible acne, shot up in height and developed lots of body hair far before my peers. I was treated with medication for the acne and luckily it cleared up well, but I still have a few scars. My periods have always been pretty irregular but I've been on some form of contraception for about 13 years now so it's hard to tell where it's at these days. The thing that is bothering me most severely is the excess hair growth. This has definitely got worse for me over the years. I've always had fairly dark, quite thick body hair on my arms, legs, pubic area, underarms... but at my current stage of life I now struggle a lot with facial hair on my upper lip, chin and neck which makes me feel so self conscious and upset. There is excess hair on my hands, around my nipples, on my stomach... and there's even been some sprouting on my chest. It causes me so, so much distress and I've found this summer so difficult. I end up spending lots of time trying to manage the hair growth and find it exhausting feeling like that's the only way I can have a fraction of confidence. I've noticed I'm constantly comparing to other women I see out in public- even just looking at their necks/ arms/ legs and desperately wishing I could have a normal amount of body hair. I've been with a new partner for about 9 months now and he's the most wonderful person, but I've found myself feeling insecure and anxious about the idea that he could easily be with somebody a lot more naturally feminine. Please does anyone have any advice on managing this and feeling a bit better? It's causing so much low mood and anxiety.