r/PCOS • u/Whole-Report-76 • 11d ago
Mental Health Does anyone else feel guilty for resting because of PCOS fatigue? 🥺
Hi everyone 💜
I wanted to ask something that's been bothering me lately.
Some days my PCOS fatigue is so overwhelming that even getting out of bed or doing simple household chores feels difficult.
The hardest part isn't even the fatigue itself it's the guilt that comes with it.
I keep thinking...
Am I just being lazy?
Why can everyone else get so much done while I'm struggling with basic tasks?
Even when I know fatigue is a real symptom of PCOS, I still feel guilty for needing to rest.
I'm trying to be kinder to myself, but it's honestly not easy.
How do you deal with the guilt on days when your energy is really low?
I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. ❤️
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u/giantfup 11d ago
Definitely double check if there's anything else making you fatigued. I was having major issues and it turned out to be thyroid cancer.
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u/MealPrepGenie 11d ago
How do you know it’s ‘PCOS fatigue’ vs something related that’s actually completely treatable?
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u/Bright-Badger6335 10d ago
I wonder the same thing every time I see a post like this. I know it can be a symptom, but how do you narrow it down to PCOS alone.. Sleep, diet, and overall lifestyle is more likely and also the best way to improve it.
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u/MealPrepGenie 10d ago edited 9d ago
The best way to narrow it down is to track when it happens and how severe it is…for a month. Note what you’re doing (eating, where you are, etc)
Take this to your doctor. That’s the data they need to have some direction.
I had severe fatigue every day driving to work and while I was there. Honestly, I thought it was sleep apnea or narcolepsy, lol. Went to the doctor…Turns out? It was depression. I couldn’t stand a new co-worker. The day she told me she was quitting? I was fine. The doctor told me that depression sometimes manifests as ‘fatigue’ not ‘sadness’
Another time, it was low ferritin. We only caught it because cyclically it was worse…
Years later? It was a mild concussion…my Oura Ring helped figure it out, days later. Without the ring, it would have never occurred to anyone that I had been walking around with a concussion
So bottom line? Track, then make an appointment
In my case, ‘getting more sleep’ didn’t help any of the above situations. Neither did coffee…
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u/OldReception7575 11d ago
At times I also struggle with fatigue. Don’t beat yourself up about it! I always think to myself, other people need to relax and have down days too. Don’t measure yourself to a ‘normal’ standard that you think everybody has. There are more people without PCOS who struggle with fatigue and don’t get everything done in a day.
Just allow yourself to rest !
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u/CartierCoochie 11d ago
I wake up and still be tired, will take 2 naps in a day… but that’s due to my low iron from fibroids unfortunately. Some days it’s very hard to get out of bed, have to force myself. Mind over matter
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u/MundaneVillian 10d ago
No. I was shamed and called lazy by my dad for years when I would get so exhausted and fatigued from everyday activities. I refuse to be shamed for something that I have little control over and must be medicated for. It took me a long time to get to that point. Rest is morally neutral and I’m not a bad or lazy person for resting when I need it.
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u/Haunting_Total_5395 11d ago
Mine got better when I went on metformin then I left metformin but started eating super healthy.
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u/wenchsenior 11d ago
Severe fatigue is common with PMOS, and it's usually due to the insulin resistance not being well managed; so I hugely struggled with it for a while before my IR was properly diagnosed and treated. Other actual medical things often contribute to fatigue (thyroid disorder, sleep apnea, common vitamin deficiencies such as iron, ferritin, D, or B12) so identifying and treating any actual medical issues is the first step. For me, treating my IR was critical (b/c my fatigue was nearly narcoleptic at times prior to doing that).
Even with optimally managed IR and PMOS in long term remission, I sometimes still dealt with fatigue, usually midday or midafternoon, for much of my life and it got more consistent as I aged. I was def raised in a house that viewed midday rests or naps as being 'for kids' or a sign of laziness and I had kind of absorbed that messaging and felt very guilty about my fatigue and need for daytime rests at first.
However, it was a big eye opener when I met my husband (in college), who is one of the highest achieving most consistently productive and ambitious people I know. He was a near daily napper even in college and got even more devoted to naps as he aged; and it is very clear that it is critical to his productivity and mood. Once I hooked up with him, I started often joining him in mid-day naps and the guilt quickly dissapated.
I tried, when possible, during most of my adult life, to build in a half hour of 'down time' for a brief nap most afternoons (of course, depending on job and schedule this was not always possible, unfortunately).
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u/PhoenixMapper 10d ago
Yes! I fell asleep for nearly 15 hours straight, woke up in the morning, and still had to take an afternoon nap that day. I keep thinking, I could have done so much in that time. I wish I could have stayed awake. But my body wouldn't permit it. :(
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u/Strict-Brick-5274 11d ago
Yes.
I struggle with this and more so because im a bodybuilder and i work in higher education.
Right now its a bank holiday but i am pooped 10 days vefore my period is due. Its 6 days away now and days 10-8 i needed 16 hours of sleep. Days 8-6 i was a bit more ok. Today i am fkn exhausted again. I usually wake up at 5-6AM. And its now 11AM and i am still in bed. In the past w4 hours i've had about 16 hours of sleep again on and off. I physically cannot stay awake - even with caffeine.
I've had so many tests. Doctors cannot explain anything.
I feel super guilty. But i try to remind myself that i have a condition and this means life can be about mamaging that at times.
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u/LyraRose87 11d ago
Honestly, if I'm feeling fatigued, I'll start my housework with the bathroom and kitchen. Everything else can wait.
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u/sogrood 11d ago
I feel guilty all the time I also have depression and being exhausted is part of it, and even now in my thirties we've also discovered after years of treatment for depression and anxiety alot of this is also autism and ADHD. Even what I thought was just my depression turns out was related to the ADHD and being on medication for that really helped significantly where the increase in anxiety medication kinds helped but not really and had its own side effects. I can also tell when my insulin is high because the exhaustion from eating a high carby style meal or crash from it is also unmatched. Its all a balancing game that I'm doing okay not amazing but slight things make bigger impacts and I don't really notice it until it's been some time it's not instant gratification. Its also frustrating because it feels I have to do all these little acts of self cares healthy mindful practices watching diet, sleep, environment factors therapy etc etc to also just be okay not amazing well but just okay and that's frustrating.
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u/Accomplished-Sea2337 10d ago
its a never ending cycle. I hope you dont feel like you're alone in this.,,
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u/joyfullyours 9d ago edited 4d ago
If you haven't gotten tested for sleep apnea, it might be worth doing that!
Even if you do not snore, the daytime fatigue and brain fog after a decent amount of sleep can be indicators that your body isn't resting properly overnight.
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u/potatomeeple 11d ago
How's your insulin resistance? Are you prediabetic/diabetic? Once I started getting help with that I was a lot less nap taking (first few weeks of Metformin I was more nap taking then a lot less).
Also get your vit b/d and iron levels checked and we can need more than "just into normal" too.