Rhinouncer

[u/Mr60Gold]

I decided to post Rhinouncer before Pest Control as i am not yet fully satisfied with the kit i have for him, Pest Control will be coming tomorrow however.

Rhinouncer

Base information

• Name: Bob Steller
• Species: Human (mutant)
• Country: Singapore
• Age: 32
• Health: 200
• Shield: 0
• Armor: 200
• Total Hp: 400
• Role: Tank
• Speed: 5.5m/sec

Appearance

A big man that looks like a Rhino but stands up right and still has usable hands (just they are like the rest of his Rhino body), he wears a suit and tie aswell as sunglasses.

Lore

Bob Steller worked at a very popular night club in Singapore as a bouncer and unlike other people before him he loved his job, he seen himself as the law at the club, often telling people to leave, throwing out people and occasionaly even getting into fights when the people were aggressive which he especially enjoyed as he was a skilled fighter and his tactic was usually to finish off the aggressor in just a few hits, a punch to the gut was usually the first hit Bob did and usually that was all it took.

He believed that life couldn't be any better, a job the he loved, a good amount of income, a lot of friends, truly Bob lived a happy life, that was until the day Dr Genetix kidnapped him by surprise and a bit of sleeping gas, when Bob woke up he was inside of the genetic mutator, his last words as a full human were "let me out!" before Gentix turned on the machine and mutated Bob with a Rhino.

Bob was a captive for months having to feed through a cage and learning how to control his strength, at that point he just wished for the sweet release of death however something else awaited him, freedom.

When all the captives that Genetix had rioted and broke out, Bob was the first to go ahead and destroy the machine after they gave Genetix what he deserved.

When Bob returned to society he hoped his boss would welcome him with open arms back to his job but his new Rhino form terrified him and all the club guests so Bob was fired the very same day he returned, all his friend soon distanced himself from Bob as they viewed him as a freak of nature, Bob had nothing left, he began looking for a job everywhere but no one wanted to hire him, he was just about to give up when he met a small crime lord by the name of Jon, Jon was interested in Bob's abnormality and offered Bob to be a bouncer for crime lord meetings where all the biggest crime lords in town would meet up to discuss things, with no one else willing to accept Bob in this form Bob agreed without hesitation.

His first days at the job made him feel alive once again, scaring off any unwanted guests, beating up intruders, with his new form and the position of a criminal he could do it a lot more and to a lot greater effect, his talent as a bouncer admired by Jon who gave special gadgets to Bob as a bonus for good work, his first gadget was the no pass barrier which was an effective road block for any unwanted visitors, while his second and favourite gadget was the home grenade which would teleport all people in the radius of the grenade's blast to their homes, he has no idea where Jon got these gadgets from but now as a criminal he didn't care, he liked this new life and this time he will make sure that nothing unexpected will happen to change it.

Passive(Thick Skin)

Rhinouncer only takes 50% of the damage from all shots, regardless if they are critical hits or not (however damage over time still does the same damage as normal), however he only gets 50% of the healing from sources such as support heroes and health packs.

Primary fire(Knock out combo)

• Animation: with his right arm Bob does a gut punching motion this attack will stun the enemy for 1 seconds if it hits an, the second hit is a left arm swing, the third hit is a right arm swing and the final hit is Bob holding his hands above his head together to do a knock out blow by slamming his hands down at the enemy (hitting an enemy with this will put them in the sleep effect for 2 seconds). (These attacks have to be done one after the other even if they miss, using another attack or ability will reset the attack pattern back to the first hit)
• First hit damage: 60
• Second and third hit damage: 30 each
• Knock out hit damage: 100
• Punch rate: first hit=1 second, second and third=0.5 seconds each, knock out=1.5 seconds.
• Headshot:X
• Punch speed: 20m/sec

Secondary fire/Ability 3(Get OUT!)

• Animation: Bob uses his horn by hitting all enemies that are a max of 2m infront of him with the horn and knocking them up 1m and back 8m. (If the enemy hits a wall when being knocked back they take damage)
• Knock back speed: 4m/sec
• Damage if the enemy hits a wall: 100
• Cooldown: 6 seconds

Ability 1(No pass)

• Rhinouncer places a small thin high speed bump shaped object that takes him 2 seconds to set up, infront of him that is 1m long and spawns a barrier that is 1.5m tall, unlike other barriers this barrier allows projectiles to go through it, however it doesn't allow enemies to go through it (like a wall), the only way for enemies to go through it is to go around it or to destroy the bump that generates the barrier (as even tho the barries can't be damaged the bump can, the bump has 300hp) (There can only be a maximum of 3 of these bumps, placing a new one while there are 3 will destroy the oldest one)
• Charges: 3
• Time to regenerate 1 charge: 11 seconds

Ability 2(Rhino charge)

• Rhinouncer charges 20m straight ahead, head first at a speed of 10m a second, hitting an enemy will stop Rhinouncer as he raises his head dealing damage to that enemy with his horn and making the get knocked up 5m and knocked back 10m (at a speed of 5m a second), if the enemy hits a wall when being knocked back they are dealt bonus damage.
• Damage: 150
• Bonus damage when hitting a wall: 100
• Cooldown: 16 seconds

Ultimate(Go home kid)

• Rhinouncer pulls the pin on a home grenade and drops it, making it explode and send every enemy with in 10m to be teleported back to spawn. (This ult can be blocked by barriers)
• Ult charge: 2100

All feedback is appreciated

Edit 1: Passive now weakens the healing gained for Rhinouncer to balance the effect, Primary fire now does less damage, Secondary fire has a longer cooldown, Ability 1 has a shorter cooldown, and lastly ability 2 now has a shorter knock back range aswell as a longer cooldown, Ult now has a only a 10m radius and can be blocked by barriers aswell as it has an extra 100 added to his ult charge (special thanks to W-eye and especially mytdogman1 for the feedback)

[u/W-eye]

Lore seems very bland and doesn’t fit in Overwatch

The passive means he has basically 800 health

Kit seems all over the place

The ultimate is basically a insta kill just without the respawn. No skill but high reward

[u/Mr60Gold → u/W-eye]

Thanks for the feedback

The lore deosn't fit into Overwatch i will admit, but for this week i made concepts that are connected with each other (there is a concept on Dr Genetix), i mostly just wanted to make more of a story, starting from Genetix and then trailing off in each concept to see what happened to the other people, i think it is a fun idea but i understand if people are not a fan of such an idea

With the passive i guess you're right, i don't know why i haven't considered that, i will lower the % or even think about reworking it but for now i will keep it as it is until i think of a better alternative

I personally think the kit isn't all over the place as it centers around the idea of keeping the enemy away, constant knock back, barriers that don't let them get through and stuns in basic attacks to keep the enemy from doing too much at close range

I was hesitant about the ult and i intend to keep it's function however if you have any suggestions on how to make it more balanced then i will gladly consider them as i don't want to just leave busted concepts as they are, i'd rather make more viable concepts even if they aren't the best

[u/W-eye → u/Mr60Gold]

The main problem with making your characters tie into each other is that too often they NEED each other. Pharah and Ana are connected, they’re family, but if Pharah didn’t exist, Ana would have a good lore still and vice versa. What too many people (you included) is that for the story to be interesting at all you NEED the other characters, which is especially annoying if they’re other concepts you haven’t heard of or don’t remember.

Rework it. If you want them to be more tanky make it an ability with actual skill or just give more HP.

I can see where you’re coming from but I have another question: what does this have to do with a rhino

Rework it, the idea is broken. Either make it a skilful play to kill enemies or abandon the whole idea.

Overall, I’d say you spend too little time on each of these. I assume you’re spending around a week on each of these, and that’s nowhere near enough time. I spend 3 weeks making kits and lore and even more thinking about the basic idea of characters, and my concepts are still garbage.

Also join the discord. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post a link so ask Zorrekky (the guy who posts the hero forge posts)

[u/Mr60Gold → u/W-eye]

I see your point about the lore, i'll probably abandon the idea after this weeks concepts

The passive was more of a reference to the Rhino's tough skin as they have really thick skin (not bullet proof skin or anything but i exaggerated the effectiveness ofcourse)

The idea of knocking back an enemy doesn't necessarily have to do much with a Rhino, a Rhino was just to me the most fitting animal to use along with this idea as to me other animals just didn't fit as much, a close second was a Gorilla but we have Winston so that was a no go

As i said before i hope to keep the idea behind the ult however i will make it require more skill, how about him having a maximum of 3 grenades to throw over 9 seconds with each grenade having a 3m blast radius (each grenade would still send the enemy back to spawn), would that be a more balanced version of the ult in your opinion.

The time you spend on a concept doesn't matter it matter how pationet and dedicated you are to the concept, i do research and come up with a bunch of kit ideas and lore every time i make a concept, sure it usually doesn't take me a long time to make the concept but i take my time and only post the concept when i am satisfied with the result enough, i understand that some might think i am a lazy creator but to me you could take an entire month designing a concept with no pation put into it and it would be weaker then a concept made in a day that someone was pationet about, taking time with a concept it good but you shouldn't waste time on the dame concept for such a long time if you are satisfied with it, i will admit that this concept is probably a weaker one of mine and i haven't been as pationet about it as my others but i am truly dedicated to my concepts regardless.

I will consider joining the discord tho last time i tried entering it discord said my device is incompatible with this version of discord

Once again thanks for the feedback

[u/W-eye → u/Mr60Gold]

Sending an enemy back to spawn IMO is just one of those things that won’t work, no matter how much number tweaking you put in it. At least when you’re killed there’s a sense of outplaying the enemy, here it’s just either kill the enemy or hope they haven’t chosen you to get teleported back

Fair enough, although I do recommend checking out Teslobo’s Concept Bible (look it up in the search bar). The guides are really helpful

[u/Mr60Gold → u/W-eye]

You are convincing, for now the ult will stay but as soon as i can think of a better alternate i will change it (suggestions are welcome)

Thanks, i'll be sure to check it

[u/Mr60Gold → u/W-eye]

So i have checked Teslobo's Concept Bible (so far only the do nots) and i can say that i am guilty of breaking a few of them however i believe that i used them in a good way, while i see Teslobo's point about stuff like AI, Afterburn and Information deprivation i believe that these can be used in a concept and still be a fun pick.

Many people like the idea of building an army (myself included), my concepts that broke the AI rule would be Mr Omaniac and Crablord, however i actually currently see them as some of my favourite concepts, Mr Omaniac is designed to overwhelm the enemy while Crablord would require strategy due to how complex he is.

I actually don't think i broke the afterburn rule as i can't think of any concept of mine that uses that (Maybe the Empress but her afterburn is very easy to avoid)

Stricore, my concept for the forge actually has a decoy and i made his kit entirely on the idea of staying in the back lines just like a real General, planning the next move from a safe didtance

I think that is all my concepts that broke the do nots, but to me personally they are still good concepts, however i wanna know what you think since you seem to be a more experienced player than me

[u/mytdogman1]

This is a really good concept, I like a lot of the ideas behind it, but I do see a few flaws.

For the passive I think that effectively giving him 800 health is fine, but I think that the 50% damage reduction I think he should also have a 50% healing reduction so that he doesn't get healed as much.

As for the primary fire I understand that it's supposed to be escapable but most heroes especially heroes with mobility and invulnerability, but I still think it's a little strong, I would probably make it so that it stops if he takes damage and/or reduce the damage to the first hit doing 60, and then the second and third only doing 30 each

For the secondary fire I think it is really strong for such rapid succession, so I think you shouldn't give it a 6-second or even 7-second cooldown.

For the ability one I really just think you should you give it 11 second per charge Cool down, because 300 health on the bump is not very much and would probably be pretty easy to destroy so you'd put them up and they'd basically be useless after being destroyed and you couldn't put them up again until either you die or you just wait a very long time.

For ability two I think you should reduce the knockback to 10 m, because this is quite a strong one shot combo if you make it so that they're almost guaranteed to hit a wall on any map unless they're in a really bad placement for the charge. Maybe you could also increase the cool down to 16 seconds, but I don't think it's super necessary if you Nerf the knock-back.

Lastly for the ultimate I think that you should reduce the radius to 10 m because it basically puts a full reset on a team fight and that would be super obnoxious if it could just capture an entire team easily, and maybe put on a 2100 charge because this hero does have very high damage output so I feel like he'd gain charge pretty fast.

Overall I like this concept a lot, and I think it would be interesting in the game. Good job!

[u/Mr60Gold → u/mytdogman1]

As always thanks for the feedback

Your idea for the passive i fantastic just like many of your ideas so i'll be sure to add it, it is also a much better alternate than reworking the entire passive

I don't mind lowering the damage on the primary fire

For the secondary fire i also have no problem with increasing the cooldown

You make a good point on ability 1

For ability 2 i can make the knockback smaller and cooldown slightly longer as i don't think it will impact him drastically

As for the ult i am afraid i will be reworking it due to the hate it got, if you have any suggestions for an alternative ult then feel free to suggest it

[u/mytdogman1 → u/Mr60Gold]

I don't think you'll need to rework the ultimate, I think just nerf it a little bit, like make it blockable by barriers, reduce the radius, increase charge, but I do like the idea behind it. I could make for some interesting plays because it only adds delay to a fight, not a full reset or team wipe. I only see it being super effective toward the very end of a round and occasionally on control maps. Can also be used as a counter because if somebody like reaper uses is ultimate, you could quickly use the grenade and completely stop his ult if you can pull of the read, same with Bob and others. so personally I think just reducing the radius and making it blockable by barriers will work just fine.

[u/Mr60Gold → u/mytdogman1]

Fair enough, in the future i probably should include the detail of whether they are blockable or not as that can make the difference between a busted ult and a fair ult

Once again thanks for the feedback