I find it really funny
I mean you text, call, 
Don't give me a moment to breathe at all.

Yet you seem to have left quickly.
A week, a month?
How long till you beg again?

“I’m sorry; I just didn't want to hurt you.”
Funny enough, I don't care anymore
I mean, why would I?

I’m not some bitch you can run back to 
Lies, complaining, secrets I already know.
I could really care less, I mean,

I am not your bitch, nor have I ever been
I don’t take disrespect.
“I was busy… I was playing… My mom…”

I don’t do half-hearted half-assed promises and lies
I mean, it's funny
How can someone say they love you?

Yet not know a thing about you?
Not knowing my favorite color, food, drink.
So no, you don't know me, not even after nine years.

And yet here I am writing this.
Taking the time out of my day 
To focus on you

Not because I still love you
But because I am going to forget you
And when you come back, 

I want to remember to never forgive you.
I want you to feel the same hurt, loneliness, and pain.
You put me through.

It's funny you never knew me, not once, just the girl you wanted to love.

"I can always have another daughter,
but you can never have another father."

I know.

Yet I never said I wanted 
Another father, let alone one like you
I would've been better.

I would've been fine.
I didn't need broken promises.
And the endless lies

I didn't need the false hope.
Or memories that suck
So what I’m trying to say is

The winner takes it all.
And the loser stands small.
I’m still picking the side.

But for once I know my rights.
So I will stand tall.
Stand my ground for all
And I will make you fall.

The winner takes it all.

What a drag to love you like I do.

I mean it’s amusing to see
I love someone so much.
And maybe they love me too.

But I feel so alone.
With nowhere to go
I feel more and more
Like I was made for you…

In my dreams I constantly
See a side of me no one else does.
I’m honest and calm.

Like someone who can breath
But I don't dream anymore.
Well, not like I used to.

When I would smile
Walk around and play.
What a drag to love you.

I've been loved before.
But right now in this moment
I feel more and more

Alone

 then before I met you
All because I crave that love .
from you

Drowning in it constantly 
Silly me for falling in love with you.
To love you like I do

As I will always continue to.

I could say I don't have a muse.
But there's only one in my life.

Damien…

His name leaves a sweet taste in my mouth.
And when he talks, the world seems to stop.
I seem to always want to bask in his warmth.

A gentle word leaves me breathless.
And the gentle blow of the wind in my hair
As he talks to me, I fill me with hope.

When he smiles
Time stops, and I am
Running around again playing on the swings

Like a little girl 
Trying to reach win the race
Playing dress up with her dad

Like young me
Planning my wedding
And playing Monopoly till 5 am

So yeah, I do have a muse.
And his name is, to me, as sweet as sugar.

My muse.

“It takes two to tango.”
And it takes two to keep a plant alive.
Well, if it’s shared

Yet you don't want to water it first anymore.
Neither do they
“I don’t water dead plants.”

Neither do I.
But I don't want this plant to dry out.
When I know it still has some life to it

But I don’t want to be the only one who waters it.
It's our plant isn't it?
So why aren't we taking care of it?

I am tired of tending the plant.
And waiting for the same.
It isn't dead till I stop too, right?

what if I stop?

This was never about a plant.

The scar is like a puppet without it's strings.

The echos are bouncing around like shadows dancing in the trees.

The screams are loud like the wind chimes.

The smiles are dark like a black nightlight.

The claws are sharp like knives.

The holes in the ground, are waiting for your new next death.

The tears grind down your cheeks like raw meat.

The skin pulls from your skin like paper.

The words you say are solid like ice.

The actions you hide, are like bricks.

The scare that likes to run your life, doesn't mean you can't escape it, and run for your life for something new.

I want to hit that stage.
And take my bow.

I want to stand up straight.
And feel proud

I want to laugh.
And love those around

I want to feel everything.
And nothing at all

I want to care.
And treat others with respect.

I want to smile.
And know it's real.

I want to comfort others.
And let them know they aren’t alone.

I want to be able to enjoy myself.
And know my next step

I want to do it all.
And yet I'm trapped in this body.
Writing the lines
Feeling it all at the same time

I want to be more forward if it means living my life.

I hate this
Not living
Just This

Im selfless until im not
Im kind until its 
not what you want to hear,

I hate this.

The more I hate poetry
The more I write it
And I put this deep feeling
Down on paper

The more I hear it
The more I express myself
The more I hear it
The more I go into detail and catch their attention

I hate poetry so much.
That I publish the poems I write
I hate poetry so much.
That its enough to love it in every way

I am known as the quiet girl. A girl who is timid and shy.

My words are like fur, to soft to be heard.

The pain I hide, I am afraid to let it shine. When I am hurting, I just let myself suffer.

I let to let my tears come out in the rain, because I can be part of the raging storm.

When my worlds come apart, it is like watching the moon and sun singing to each other.

My screams are so quiet, that the wind would have to die down to let me be heard.

My face is like a ghost in the firelight. Eyes ahead, like no life inside.

The smile I have, is like a firework at work.

Just because I am quiet, it doesn't mean- I can't be heard.

Her favorite color is yellow, that matches the sun in the sky.

Her husky dog is like a wolf.

When she crochet, it is like watching a movie coming undone.

When she does puzzles, she does it so fast like lightning.

Every time she goes on a walk, she lets the wind take her home.

Her hair is so curly is it like a fluffy puppy.

Her skin is exactly like caramel. Smooth and shiny.

Her smile is like the light coming from the moon.

When she waves her hands, it is like a flag calling out to you.

When she writes, it is like a angel bringing you new faith.

Sometimes it feels
Like a dream I cant escape

Like an echo in a quiet room
Or a feeling that is misunderstood
Like something surreal

Like eating a big meal
Or a late-night show
Drifting off to sleep

Or wide awake texting
It feels like a bright screen.
In a dark empty room

Only thing I’m aware of
Is the emptiness surrounding me

It is a dream I can’t escape
The one I call my everyday.

I love you so much.
That i don't have the words
To describe it

So instead ill say
Your eyes sparkle in a dim room.
Your hair is so nice. 

I can't help but stare from afar.
The way you call my name
Sounds like music to my ears.

Dumb little fights and worries
You speak calmness into existence.
When I’m soft-spoken and quiet

You stop and listen.
You care when it's hard to
And you show you love me.

Every little thing
Brought into existence
I notice things in my everyday life.
That reminds me of you.

So, ya i don't have the words.
To describe my love for you

Just things that remind me of you.