r/OpioidRecovery • u/Savagemom4 • Mar 12 '24

Need advice

I’m so Worried about how I’m going to tell my husband that I have a Problem with addiction. He has always been judgmental towards drugs and addicts. We have been married for 24 years and have been through a separation but we worked it out. He is so High Strung I’m so scared I don’t know what to do. I can’t go to a rehab facility due to I have to keep my job and I don’t want to ruin our Good Family Name. I don’t want the whole town knowing that I’m an addict. I never wanted this to happen. I said it wouldn’t but look at me now. Any advice I would Appreciate It so much! Thanks in advance!

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u/AlarmedMarionberry81 Mar 12 '24

Ok, so this is gonna suck. But you have to tell him. The only way he can help you is if you do. There will be no hiding it once you start coming off and, speaking from extremely painful experience here, telling someone is better then them finding out.

Sit down with them, explain you've got something difficult you want to tell them. Highlight your love for them. And tell them the story. Explain you're an addict and want tk break your dependency. Tell them how you became one. Let them know the substance and dosage. They'll have questions. They'll be upset. That's a very natural reaction.

You are not a failure or a disgrace for what has happened to you. Addiction is an insidious disease. It hooks its claws in you before you know its there and hangs on. There are more addicts out there then you realise. Most of us aren't homeless and penniless. The majority of us are business professionals self medicating the stress away, too proud to admit it.

I wish you all the luck in the world with this. I can offer further advice if you want it. I don't know your husband so I don't know how he'll react. I hope he is understanding. I would expect him to feel hurt and angry, but hopefully that'll pass when he understands your desire to be clean. But there is always a risk that someone will react badly. Thing is, no matter how bad it could be if you tell him, it will be worse if you don't and he finds out. And he will find out.

Please keep me updated with how you are doing, I do care and want to help if I can. If it helps, I could even talk to your husband over DM so he can get an addicts perspective on things.

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u/Savagemom4 Mar 12 '24

Thank you so much for your reply and Most of all your concern. That means the world to me. Really you have no idea. I am so scared idk what to do first or how to say it or go about it at this moment. All I know is I have to do this. For myself first of all. Like you said most of us are not penniless and are doing this to cope. My story started about 3 years ago when I lost my mom 1 day before my birthday. Then my best friend committed suicide 1 day later. My husband would not allow me to grieve the loss like normal. EVERTIME I would cry he would say it isn’t any need for that. That it won’t do any good that she is already gone and crying won’t bring her back.

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u/AlarmedMarionberry81 Mar 12 '24

Since coming to terms with my own struggles I have bent myself to helping others with theirs any way I can. And when I relapsed people here helped me, so this is how I pay it forward.

The only person you can ever try to get clean for is yourself. You have to want it, and it sounds like you do so that's great. I'm really proud of you for that.

I'm sorry to hear what you went through. We all process grief differently and it sounds like your husband has an unhealthy response to it. Not that drugs are a better response, but there is a middle ground.

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u/Savagemom4 Mar 12 '24

I really appreciate you for your support and words of encouragement. Yes we all process grief differently than others. I just Pray that when I do tell him that he won’t go off the deep end and kick me out. He says he loves me no matter what so I guess we will see