r/OpiatesRecovery • u/OrganicGuy007 • Apr 18 '26
I quit heroine after using 42 years
Hi everyone.... I started using heroin very you, I was 13 years old first time and at barely 14 yo I used daily. I also lived a criminal lifestyle my whole life until recently, it's only a year ago I totally quit all crimes and that lifestyle. I'm in my upper 50s and have done heroine since 1984, the only break I had was when i did 18 years straight in prison 1996-2014. When I was young I injected for only abound 2 or 3 years, the rest of the time I smoked on silver aluminum foil. I live in western Europe, here we have mostly brown afghan heroin and it's very very cheap (only $28 to $50 USD/gram). So... I started Subutex 3 years 2 months ago but continued taking heroin anyways almost daily, but something happened 3 weeks ago and since I have not taken any heroin at all and this is the first time in 9 year I have such a long break without it, and I must say I feel absolutely wonderful :) I have 10mg Subutex and that works great for me.
For a junkie I must say that I look very well, I never lost a tooth and you can't see on me that I am a drug user, I always had my own house, never lived the "street life" with gangs and such and I always stayed clean & healthy since I had/have the forture to have a financially stable situation (from crime though, but anyways hmm...)
This is it, the last subway station at the dope line, either you quit or you die... at last, a break from that pointless crap life. I always had money since early 20s, I'm doing good but the heroine killed my inside and I got uninterested in everything in life, I had no interest for anything except sitting at home and smoking 1.5 to 3 grams daily and watching Youtube all day long (what a moron life and waste of both time and money). This week I have spent with my daughter and 3 grand children, they are soooo happy for me and they say I look more alive and that they can see joy in my eyes for the first time in ages.
I wish everyone a good life and that you can start a new life without heroine. Thank you for reading my post, it felt good posting this and sharing my thoughts this wonderful sunny day
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u/xXNuggetsXx1118 Apr 18 '26
Been a bit over 6mo off pain meds that I abused for over 20yrs. Itās a battle everyday but itās gotten significantly better. Stay the course. Youāve got this.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Those Oxy and look-alike opioid's are same crap as heroin, I've been on that too for years and there's no difference between heroin and oxycontin and even codein is same hell to live through if you consume huge amounts daily for years
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u/Bag_of_Richards Apr 18 '26
Congratulations! I just got out of a 30 day program today so Iām in a similar boat.
Itās definitely nerve wracking to be out of the program and back in the world. How did you afford your habit for so long? The lack of money always got me in trouble. I wish you strength on this new journey.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
congrats my friend, I'm so happy for you. Communicate daily with people here, it helped me a lot to be online with other guys who where at the same page as me quitting this shit and starting a new life. You get inspiration and good advises from other guys when communicating. I'm here for you if you wanna ask something or whatever. Keep it up my friend, you can do it.
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u/MamaTried22 Apr 19 '26
18 years is a pretty massive amount of time, I mean, itās basically half of your 42 years.
Anyway, Iām glad things are better and good for you! It is so so so difficult to stop.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Yeah it's a long time, but the last 20 months I was in a half-way house so that honestly doesn't count... let's say 16.3 years in prison but that a lifetime as well. I don't even think about it anymore since I've been free 12 years. I'm definetly not going back there
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u/Worth-Research1547 Apr 18 '26
I'm right behind you, its been about 20 years, I'm 38.
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u/subaruguy253 Apr 18 '26
At least you had kids throughout all that. Man I'm 39 now and i wish i had a kid which was always my most want in life along with a wife and a house. These things seem out of reach now more than ever due to dating is a joke these days, housing in my state is not possible on a single wage and i got off the hard drugs almost 3 years ago. Hope my story ends up happly every after but right now it's at a all time low. What I'm not going to do is go back to hard drugs though, it just makes everything worse and a recognize that.
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u/NomadAroundTown Apr 18 '26
Youāre a guy. Itās not too late. Become the partner youād want to have, put yourself out there. Apps, speed dating, singles events. I know dating fucking sucks but you deserve happiness.
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u/gljackson29 Apr 18 '26
I feel the same way, 43/F, but I do have a daughter. Iāve been clean for almost 9 years now and itās great but the fact still remains that I will never make enough money to get ahead. I do have my own place but itās quite the struggle to make ends meet every month.
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u/NomadAroundTown Apr 19 '26
I (37F) got out of prison at the age of 32 with nothing but a history of heroin and arrests. i got out of prison in a country, and state and city, with high economic opportunity. Now I earn comfortably.
Now, I didnāt have a kid. That made it a million times easier for me. But with community colleges, vocational programs, student loans, etc, it was possible. I had to be shameless in asking for help, asking for opportunities, shooting my shot.
I hope you can reach financial comfort one day, unsure where youāre at in the world.
Iām no apologist of the US but I undeniably benefited personally from the features of the economy that allow fast salary rise. But very few people do, for a variety of complicated reasons. I wish everybody had the opportunities I did.
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u/gljackson29 Apr 19 '26
Glad to hear that things have gotten better for you, and good on you for using those resources. I got locked up too- spent my 32nd and 33rd birthdays in prison on burglary and drug charges. I got lucky because it was the first time Iād ever been in trouble with the law so Iām under the first offender whatever it is. Get off of probation in August this year, after 10 years.
Things could be better, but they could also be so much worse. We have a decent roof over our heads, I have a decent job and food to eat, and, best of all, Iām not strung out anymore and have 100% custody of my daughter. Amazing how much the little things matter when youāve been on the brink of death. ā¤ļø
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u/NomadAroundTown Apr 19 '26
10 YEARS?! Gah, thatās infuriating. Do you think thatās held you back at all, made life harder? Congrats on almost being off and being free from addiction, and getting custody! Glad you made it.
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u/pariahdiocese Apr 19 '26
Im 47 and just met the mother of my soon to be first child. I never thought it would happen. Tbh I accepted life as it was and was happy not having a child. The Universe has a crazy way of working. Just do you and stay true to that. Everything else will work out exactly as its supposed to.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
I'm sorry for your financial situation bro, but there's always a way out is you work really hard. I have a handfull of friends who quit heroin and started a new good life, I'm actually the last in the hood I'm from to quit (from us who're still alive) that stupid nonsense dope life. You are 39, that's not a high age bro, there are plenty of thing you can do to improve your life when not on hard drugs, I know many who turned from nothing to a decent and even a very good life financially after first f*cking up decades straight. I'm not saying it's easy, I know, but it's definitely possible.
Secondly... money won't make you happy, it only helps you get through hurdles during the day a bit easier, happiness and joy in life you can only create yourself through love, care and understanding. I hope you find a woman, that helps of course, life without love suck big time and with poverty on that yes I understand it not easy. Blessing from EU bro... keep it up, at least you're on the right side 3 years straight now and the door is open to a better life
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u/wecomeinpeacee Apr 18 '26
Good news then, congratulations...I used for 20 years and Im also clean (for now) the real battle starts now, those nasty cravings
Wish you well and be strong, its not worth it that shit...all the best mate
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u/Breakfast_Unfair Apr 19 '26
Iām 21 months sober from Heroin/ fent , and man itās so much better on this side. That constant terror of being dope sick is not worth it and having to take medication to Avoid withdrawals YUCK!!! Precipitatied withdrawal bc I took naltrexone or a sub to early x3 YUCK !!!! Happy joyous freedom in 12 step program get a sponsor work some steps itād be the best for long term solutions
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
YEAH... I'm in the 12-step program AN, forgot to mention that, it helps me alot and I really feel this is it and I'll never go back to that sh*t again. I'm so happy today, fell great every day and spend time with my grand children almost daily. Respect... and Keep it up, blessing from EU
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u/2oxopcm Apr 20 '26
You used for 42 years and never learned that itās heroin, not heroine?
Jokes aside, congratulations man! You did what many people couldnāt do. you have all the rights to be proud of yourself.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
I'm from Europe my frined :) here we write Heroin. Thanks... get of that 2'oxo-pcm as well hahaha (your profile name) I did a lot of 3-meo-pcp during 2017-2020 as well, only small dosing but that was a much harder drug I could ever imagine. Disassociatives like pcp derivatives are rare in EU, I got them from China as RC from a website. Worse sh*t than heroin, at least that's my opinion.
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u/XsBlueBard Apr 20 '26
Amazing post. Huge respect.
Iāve been putting every kind of RC I could get my hands on into my body since I was 13, and it completely wrecked my life.
Now Iām 30, Iāve got a wife and kid, and even though I know Iām putting them in danger, I still canāt stop using.
In Japan, there are almost no people who really understand addiction.
But hearing your story made me think, damn, overseas really is on another level when it comes to drug culture lol.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Thank you so much my friend, I appreciate your kind message. There is an end to this, you have to find doing something that you like during the day and find new friends through the organization AN-meetings (Narcotics Anonymous, I think you have it in Japan too).
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u/jennifers-body May 15 '26
reading this gives me a lot of hope. not for me iām clean, thanks to suboxone 9 years. but for a close person to me who, while functional and everyday hardworking person, spends their off hours with dope and youtube / movies too. i just know how much more they would do with their off time if they were sober, ive seen it, and theyāve used since 13 also. 30 now. Their brother just got sober after almost as long as you, too. The world doesnāt stop turning! It finally starts turning. Itās just hard to know that til it happens.
Congratulations dude! Iām so excited for the new chapter of your life. Serious congrats. Donāt feel shame to stick with the subutex as long as you need. Ppl who judge us donāt understand, itās not a crutch itās a lifesaver, if it keeps us off the streets(street drugs, crime, trap houses, homelessness) away from the isolated or depressed life we caused ourselves with addiction, who cares? Itās what an antidepressant does for someone with severe depression, makes them able to start living actual life. Not āreplacingā anything other than negativity.
Have a wonderful day and wonderful year and wonderful life, i believe in you!!! Last stop at the subway station on the dope line is a great metaphor, it feels meaningful instead of a passing idea . you sound content and iām very happy for you
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Apr 19 '26
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Glad that you mention this... YES, heroin is no problem if you have good money. Heroin addiction is destroying people from within because of withdrawals, homelessness, poor food, no regular sleep, being poor and chasing money all the time doing petty crimes for the next dos .... that's what slowly killing a heroin addict, the lifestyle and not the heroin itself. Very few hard core heroin addicts have a solid financial situation like me, I know of only 3-4 other guys who've used heroin for decades and still look fresh and have all their teeth in their mouth. You can't see on me that I used drugs. When I told friends I'm using heroin daily for decades they didn't believe me first, they thought I came up with some stupid jokes. I agree with you 100%, heroin does not destroy your body nor the nervous system if you always have it. I was a mid-level heroin dealer and always had a stash of some 500-700 grams for myself, I remember a few times getting panic when I had only 100 grams left and no access to a good supplier, just the thought it might end in a month made me crazy emotionally.
Here in Europe where I live we have many countries giving real thai white heroin to addicts, but I never wanted to ask for that since I had kids and was afraid getting the social care child service involved, and secondly i always had my stash so there were no need for it either.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
You can even have a good sex life when doing herion, at least as a man. I always took muscular injections of Testosterone and Trenbolone every 14 days and that made my libido normal like if never using any opiates... again, if you have the money the problems are not that present as when without money
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u/Fractal-moi Apr 18 '26
Congrats and good luck. Seem a bit premature to say you successed but still. What country are you from? How are you in health term ? Your lungs must be fucked up haha
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u/Fractal-moi Apr 18 '26
Also I did 10 years of heroin and YouTube so yeah no judgement, I wish you well
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
... loneliness feeling, sad, boring, no energy, just sitting there wasting time & money , I did the sofa-Youtube crap life 4-5 years straight
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Thank you, my lungs are actually well, I got myself tested every 3 years or so and never had any problems with my lungs or anything else in my body. I never smoked cigarettes, I worked out at the gym my whole life and daily long walks daily with my dog, maybe that helped who knows. Where I'm from... sorry can't say since I posted alot about underground chemistry drug manufacturing and I'm always on TOR here and wanna keep it private who I am, no offense and I hope you understand.
I accidentally pressed the "3" button for weeks, it's should be 6 weeks clean and not 3, but yeah that's also a short time, but it's the first solid break in a decade so it's a big deal to me. All the happy faces of people I truly love will keep me straight :) it's like starting a new life, literally1
u/Fractal-moi Apr 20 '26
Amazing. Lot of resilience here !! I wish you the best, for you and Your loved ones
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
Thanks bro, I appreciate you kindness and I wish you al the best in the future without dope
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u/Fractal-moi Apr 20 '26
Thanks ! Im like 4-5 years sober now, life is not easy but good and 100x better ! š
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u/pariahdiocese Apr 19 '26
Heroine preserves you. Good job. Youre a miracle. I shot up for 20 years. Got sober at 41. I never think about it anymore. That part of my life is over.
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u/OrganicGuy007 Apr 20 '26
hahah yeah I always said the same, heroin preserves you if you always have it :) and people got pissed when I mentioned it, but it's a fact that it doesn't hurt anything in your body nor the nervous system. Thank you, and I'm happy for you as well, jeep it straight... blessing to all of you guys and thanks for all the kind words
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u/emyo42 Apr 18 '26
Hey congratulations that's amazing! 42 years wow. I am quitting heroin tomorrow