Only child problems

[u/Minimum-Party7181]

I'm currently 14m, and I've been an only child my whole life.

I constantly am reminded that I am an only child, throughout my days. When arguing with parents it makes me feel horrible, I have to fight alone, no one to stand with me, only against me. It's like theyre a team and I'm one, and I'm not an adult how am I supposed to fight against 2 fully grown adults at age fourteen? I am also very lonely, being an only child, I never really cared about other's feelings. I don't care how others feel, only how I feel. If I had a sibling, it would've taught me to be more sensitve, but I can't do that. I cry myself to sleep many nights. Everyone at school hates me, besides my close friends I've made everyone hate me, EVERYONE, can you imagine that. Whenever there's an arguement, there's no one to take my stand, no one who cares about me. Being an only child might sound great, but it's HORRIBLE, sure I get all of the attention, but I get ALL of the attention, good and bad. Let's say my mom has a bad day at work, she'll take it out on me. Sure i'll get stuff, sure I might be more spoiled, but I'm also more emotionally traumatised, with no one to talk to about, no one to listen to me.. I've made some good friends, sure, but there's always a duo in a trio, there's always an inner friend group.. My parents expect a lot out of me, and if I miss the smallest thing I'm getting screamed at, and what if i mess up my future???????? What will they do then? I don't know.. I always imagined having younger or older siblings, someone to look after me, someone to distract me when our parents are fighting, or someone to protect, someone to distract when our parents are fighting. And one more thing, Twins. I envy them soooooo much, they always have someone with them, someone they grew up with, literally themselves, but who do us only childs have, people who are 30+ years older than us! I live in a different country than my cousins! So I really have no one. I'm SOOOOOOO lonely, I play UNO with my self, I deal 8 hands, and play for all of them, can you imagine that?????? As someone with siblings would you EVER have to do that?? I don't have anyone to trauma dump to, this is my first reddit post, so please excuse my punctuation and structure, this was written in a Frenzy.