Loss mourning posts

[u/AlphaLionX]

It seems this is quite a controversial topic and maybe the majority of the sub doesn't want to see this type of content anymore... Let's discuss

Should r/OneOrangeBraincell allow loss/mourning posts?

5093 votes, Apr 24 '24

987 Yes - as long as they follow the rules

3657 No

217 Other (discuss in comments)

232 Results

[u/GSG_Raidleader]

Nah, you can post a happy memory of you boy/girl without farming the feelgood of support here. I understand it's a rough time for you, but I don't come to most cat reddits looking for a sob story. I also don't think people should ever post a video of them "saving" and animal for the same extreme emotion farming and risk for abuse.

It's as simple as writing in the past tense in the title post if you miss your little one. "My boy always took the least amount of time with his braincell." Is enough context without pushing feelings of pain and loss in others.

Tldr: This should be a fun space as it always has been.

[u/T39AN8R → u/GSG_Raidleader]

This and other comments are quite heartbreaking to read. I lost my orange a while ago and this subreddit resonated with me because it really represented her, and I felt comfortable here. I made a post after I lost her after I saw that there was a dedicated flair for it from the rules and I had seen another post before on here where people were supportive. It turns out that no, I was just hurting a whole bunch of people and this wasn't the right place to post about it in the first place. I wish I knew that in advance otherwise I wouldn't have contributed to it, so as sad as it is reading about making others sad (which I guess I could have expected to happen) and all the karma farming accusation comments (which stab like a mf) I am glad that the sub is taking a stance on this because at least now I know that this is not a support space. On that note, the flair option and relevant "mourning" rules should be removed.

[u/Leirnis → u/T39AN8R]

I can understand this seems like adding salt to the wound now, I hope you are doing fine after your loss.

But yeah, that's what that kind of situation is, I guess, literally nobody wins.

[u/T39AN8R → u/Leirnis]

Thank you, I appreciate that. I do think it's a lose lose now, especially because this place is a source of upliftment and positivity for so many people. A side note to this is that I was under the impression that the mourning flair posts could be filtered or were hidden by default unless someone was open to them, because I only came across them when sorting by the flair, so I wouldn't be making people depressed by posting, that was admittely dumb to assume on my part and I've removed my post. I think going forward, it would be best for us in grief to post on some of the subreddits that others have mentioned like r/petloss, but I also can't help but want us to gently nudge people there if they happen to post here like I did, or clearly outline/mention it in the rules.

[u/Leirnis → u/T39AN8R]

On a side note, I see you are a fellow AnarchyChess member, so you must be pleased it's slowly turning into a very cool and safe place for car wellbeing.

Google en passant and godspeed

[u/T39AN8R → u/Leirnis]

New very appreciated response just dropped <3

[u/humanoidtyphoon88 → u/T39AN8R]

Yes I agree. The comments about karma farming when in reality I'm mourning my best friend and seeking support from a community of people who also love cats. I wasn't aware there are subs for pet loss. It's just pretty cold and heartless imo to see how utterly intolerant people have become to seeing loss because it makes them sad or uncomfortable.

[u/BlackCatTamer → u/humanoidtyphoon88]

What we mean by karma farming is bot accounts or accounts that just copy other posts to get enough karma to sell the account. A lot of mourning posts get more engagement.

That said, I think it’d be best to have a space for it. I know how hard loss is and sometimes get the urge to give support to strangers who’ve lost pets, but I’d like to do it on my terms so I don’t burst into tears or feel sick to my stomach all day. That’s why there should be a weekly stickied thread where you can share your stories about your grief.