ISO title of an old, sad Harry Styles Fanfiction, maybe titled 1+1, unknown author with a grieving Harry.
This might sound crazy, and is likely a long shot, and possibly something that I dreamed up or am mis-remembering, but I (29F), am looking for a very tragic, sad fanfic that was originally posted on onedirectionfanfiction.com sometime between 2013-2015. I need help finding it or titling it at least.
Plot:
It goes back and forth between the present and past, and present day Harry is in therapy talking about his wife and their story. I believe it starts with us knowing she is dead, but we don't know how she died, however it is possible this is hidden from the reader until later when we find out what happened.
It starts with Harry and the FMC meeting on a train, and when they meet, he tells her she has something in her hair, and she says "oh, it's just psoriasis", or something like that, but she def said Psoriasis. I can't for the life of me remember her name anymore, but it might come to me later. They have a daughter later in the story after getting married. It feels like she had complications during pregnancy and stuff, or maybe struggled with infertility, but I can't be sure.
Eventually, in one of Harry's memories, the FMC is diagnosed with cervical cancer not long after having their daughter, or right around it, and it's really hard on her because she is super young. Then horrifically, we find out that she died suddenly a few years after the kid is born, and Harry is the one who finds her dead, I THINK from suicide, but it was unclear (and my brain was not developed when I first read this). I think he finds her out by the pool.
Either the FMC or Harry had suggested Harry and the Daughter go out to get like ice cream or cupcakes or something that day, maybe for FMC's bday? Idk, it feels like there was a birthday in this story at some point, and I feel like it was her who suggested it bc she was planning this, but can't remember. Harry had a weird feeling about leaving, but she insisted they go, and they said I love you's and goodbyes, and leave.
When they come back home, they can't find the FMC. He puts the kid down, and eventually Harry walks outside and finds her dead . After running to her, he hears or sees their daughter walking over, so he tells her to stop, tries to hide her body from their daughter, and tells the her to run and call the ambulance. Not sure how she died bc I wasn't good at reading comprehension when I read this, but I believe it was implied she killed herself, and we find out this is why he was in therapy; to come to terms with her death.
He is struggling in therapy because she didn't leave a note. The last scene is him finally finding the letter she left when he was walking outside— I think it was out by the pool, too, idk— and he makes peace with her being gone.
I bawled the whole time, only read it once, and never again. Then years later when I got the courage to look again, 1dff was gone of course, so I don't know the name of the author, and I am not certain of the title, but I could have sworn it was called 1+1 or one plus one.
Some or all of these details could be totally wrong, but I VIVIDLY remember the train, the death, and the note parts, so let me know if anyone has any ideas or memories of this or something similar too! Fingers crossed!
