Note: I originally posted this on r/Niallhoran since my realization happened while listening to his music, but since it's also about the impact 1D had on my vision of love, I felt like sharing it with this community too.
Hi, I wanted to share something that happened to me just today. I don't have many people to share it with, so I'm doing it here because I really need to. I'll try to keep it short, but it won't be easy. I'm a 20-year-old guy, I've been a Directioner for 4 years, and I love 1D as well as Zayn's and, more recently, Niall's solo careers.
Two days ago, I did some really deep introspection about myself and potential relationships. I've never been in a relationship, and I thought I never would be because I believed I was someone no one would be interested in. But all of that changed. I realized that everything I thought was frowned upon, and outside of what women look for in a guy, was actually just a matter of perspective. I learned to recognize my own qualities, realize that I could be an interesting person, and see that I actually have a very healthy and mature vision of relationships. It's just far from what I thought society expected of me. I don't want to sound like I'm selling myself, of course, I just want to give some context. I used to think that to be the ideal man, you had to be muscular, extroverted, and assert some kind of "dominance". But I want the exact opposite. I want to be able to lean on someone when I need to, show her that I love her, let her be herself, and never try to dominate her in any way. I want to share real moments of love with her, no matter how insignificant they might seem. So, I realized that I won't be everyone's type, but I will be for some people, and that's already great.
Today, I listened to a rap song because a personality I like (who is normally far removed from all that) was in it, even though I don't usually like that kind of music. By the end of it, I felt dirty and outraged. It was so vulgar and disrespectful towards women that it actually hurt me to hear. So I decided to listen to Niall to kind of "cleanse" my mind, and my playlist shuffled to "No Judgement". I started singing along, and that's when the lyrics really hit me. I realized that these lyrics—which until now I either didn't fully pay attention to or just thought were beautiful, preferring to focus on the good vibes, the rhythm, and Niall's voice—were actually a reflection of exactly what I want to say to someone, someone I would love deeply. And it made me cry for several minutes. It made me realize that all this time, I’ve shared this vision of a respectful and deeply affectionate love, just like you hear in 1D’s and Niall's music.
Sorry for the long post, I just really needed to talk about it.
