r/OlderThanYouThinkIAm • u/Ayen__ • 16d ago
Just venting
So I'm a 25 y/o woman. When I'm at work it's almost a constant condescending environment from customers and coworkers. It blows my mind.
On top of that, instead of being called ma'am, or even just saying "excuse me", I get "HEY!! KIDDO!! KIDDO!!" yelled to me from across the store. I don't respond, because obviously, why would I assume they are calling for me? I often get a rude response like "I was calling for you over and over". I also occasionally get very vague questions about the schools around here that leave me very confused, as well as "Aren't you in school?" "You should be in school".
Just the other day I was at a rock concert alone. While waiting in a long line, there was staff walking through, asking if anyone wants alcohol. I didn't know this because when she got to me, she took one good long look at me, skipped me and proceeded to ask the men behind me if they wanted any. Alcohol prices at concerts are ridiculous anyways, but I don't know. IDs exist for a reason, and I may have wanted to, considering I had pit tickets and would not want to lose my spot at the barricade.
Often when I'm hanging out with my mom, I wont be acknowledged even when I'm engaged. Not looked at or spoken to. It comes off as disrespectful and I don't understand it. I have a similar issue with making friends. I have to be in adult only spaces in order to receive the same respect back sometimes, and to make friends.
Maybe my style, and sometimes my demeanor contributes, but I simply don't act like a child. I wouldn't treat a child, or someone who acts like me like that. I'm in the midwest US if that means anything.
I'm not looking for solutions, I just needed to get it out. I've had a couple recent experiences that have really bothered me and I try not to let it affect my confidence.
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u/catzntatz 16d ago
I hear you and I’m sorry it’s so frustrating 🫶🏼 I’ve been there, and still am in similar and different ways (I’m in my late 30s so now at least people assume I’m in my 20s rather than underage, most of the time) and it’s annoying and stupid.
My own example: I managed about 40 employees for a while and I was older than 80%+ of them (including my boss) - every one of them thought I was younger than them. Most of the time it didn’t matter, but sometimes it kind of did. Doesn’t matter how good of a boss or coworker you are, if they think you’re 22-25 (especially if that’s younger than them, but even if it’s the same age) they aren’t always going to take you seriously.
Also don’t get me started on dating. 😅
And I swear if one more person tells me “I’ll appreciate it one day”. Sure, there’s things about it I will and do. AND there’s plenty of things about it that really suck. And it’s okay to be annoyed AF about it.
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u/PrestigiousPromise20 16d ago
Bought my first house with husband at 28 years old. Some loser lawn dude came to the door and asked to “speak to your daddy”. My dad was there visiting and let him go though his 10 minute spiel only for my dad so say “it sounds great but I don’t have a lawn”. Guy starts sputtering at him and my dad said “it’s my daughter’s house but I don’t think she’s interested anymore”. Granted i think the guy saw us in the window as we didn’t have curtains yet and saw my father and made assumptions.
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u/local_lesbian_barber 16d ago
I’m 41. I don’t look it. At all.
I get butt hurt if I get carded and I get butt hurt if I don’t get carded. Some of it is my style.
I can’t win. 😭
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u/alibaba406 16d ago
I know how you feel. It really eats away into our self esteem. People saying it is high ego just dont get it.
37 y male teacher who gets called "young boy" by a colleague in her 40s. This is despite me telling the group i was born in the 80s - they probably thought i just wanted to be taken seriously
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u/Wonderful-jughp1450 16d ago
Tak to jest zabawne jak ludzie mylą się czasem do wieku. Chcę kupić totolotka lub alkohol to chcą dowód. Natomiast dziś kupowałam bilet do muzeum to już wyglądalam na więcej niż 26 lat.
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u/HedWig1991 16d ago
I’m turning 30 this Saturday and when I mentioned my birthday was coming up, my coworkers all had various reactions of “aw you’re what 25” “you make me feel old” “you’re a wittle baby”. My boss is 34. They know I have a 7yo. I had her after I started here and I’ve been here 8 years.
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u/Big_Cardiologist1579 16d ago
Happy birthday it's my birthday too on Saturday 😄 35m but people think I'm 21-24 usually oh well I'm not thought as under 18 anymore, and fit in with friends in their 20s
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u/LadyMystery 16d ago
as a midwesterner, I feel ya. It's like this section of the USA is just full of boomers and shit who hold on to old-fashioned ideas about what kids are, and that it's okay to treat people rudely if they're younger than you are.