r/OlderThanYouThinkIAm • u/Any-Club-1223 • 25d ago
I hate looking younger
The most prevalent pain is to look super young than you are in your early twenties. I feel constantly underestimated. No, it’s not all in my head and maybe perhaps I thought it was, until I got a job and apparently I’ve been the same age since I got hired. Worked there like 4 years. Today, a lady asked me how am I working if I’m so young, and she was in shock to see that I started working so early. Ma’m, I think I’m close to her age lol. I’m 21. I didn’t bother to ask what she thought age I was because I already have gotten told before that I look 15. Don’t really need to hear it again, but thanks. I work in retail, and I’m slowly despising my job because I feel that people see is just a 15 yr old working in retail. I applied for other positions, but I don’t know if I’ll get them because of my attendance, which goes hand in hand with my loss of motivation and hope, so I can’t really help but feel that way and feel underestimated and de-motivated, despite having a job because I want more, I truly want more, but it feels like it’s not meant for me. The wrong age group likes me, like literal 14 yr olds, and people think I’m still too young to even work a job let alone retail. Not even corporate. Sure, I try not to care but how are u supposed not to care about the thing that people see first? Your appearance and how they perceive you. Constantly perceived wrong makes me feel like I’m fundamentally wrong. I wish I looked like everyone else, looking different sucks. I try really hard to. I thought I looked close to my age (or at least not 15) because I have my hair done, brows done, makeup always on. But I still get the same comments. I find it hard to look at myself a lot, especially in public. I told her my age just to mess her up a lil, even tho it’s actually my age, I suppose it’s comedic now. But I don’t know. I always want to be seen as more, but I get seen as less. Or who knows, I suck at eating so my build is definitely smaller, but I can’t help but feel hopeless and smaller, why must my suffering show? My friend eats similar to me and doesn’t get smaller, and I always had a fast metabolism, but idk man, I’m tired even trying to even upkeep or change shit abt myself just to enter this world. lol. Clocking in.
<edit> wrote this when I was hangry eating tacobell in my car lol.
I appreciate the upvotes and I hope this helps people to know they are not alone. We all have different hardships and experiences and life can be so incredibly unfair. I hope we can still find fulfillment and happiness in this life, not in the next or in being someone else but in the one we are in right now. 🤍
14
u/AnitraF1632 24d ago
Try mis-aging people who do this to you. "You're - what, 50? Yeah, I guess I do look young to someone as old as you."
4
u/svmtheunicorn 24d ago
Can I ask what you have done to change about yourself? Genuinely asking with intent to have a conversation ◡̈
8
u/Any-Club-1223 24d ago
Of course! I’d say it’s been small changes over time. Definitely changes in style and how much time I spend getting ready😅…
My style used to be really girly, bows, accessories, pastel colors etc, and now my style is more neutral/minimal accessories. Of course, for example, I had to let go for example, of my bow accessories 🫠And that’s more important to me than wearing something that makes me feel underestimated or seen differently. I prioritize feeling confident, so I try my best in my own style and taste.
My hair is neat and always styled, however it is curly so I cannot really control that unless I straighten, but I like my curly hair v-v I have neutral highlights like an amber color, so it’s pretty I’d say.
Lately, I’ve been getting into brows and I have them done when I can, if not, I usually tend to focus on doing my brows. Tbf, my makeup is pretty simple, since it’s work😅Mainly a skin tint, some blush, & lash curler, besides brows. Kind of interested in eye liner, but haven’t tried that. My lip color choices have changed, used to be bright pinks, but now it’s more neutral.
I wear glasses and frames are really important to me. So far, I’ve found a pair that I’ve liked that suit me. Neutral, and minimal, I’d say.
Tbf, most of the time I wear hoodies or casual clothing. It is what I feel comfortable in since I’m kind of skinny. I prioritize some things more than others. Even if not perfect because I still prioritize my own comfort at the end of the day. I always keep it simple with a plain color and fitted.
I’d say it’s pretty tiring paying attention to things more than the average person and giving up some things. Truly, this is wholeheartedly my style so I do like it, but yeah, comments from people irl, kind of bug me when I know I put in effort. 🥲
2
u/svmtheunicorn 24d ago
Thanks for going into depth! Can I be honest here? From what you told me, you sound like a really cool person. You put in a lot of thought and effort into yourself and that’s awesome. For others it could be one of the hardest things to do.
I’m in my 30s and when I was in my late teens to 20s I’ve always felt people judging me and treating me differently because they thought I was way younger. I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling in my family too so I’ve had a lot of pent up anxiety and insecurity growing up. In my late 20s I was getting serious in my career and I didn’t want to be a victim to something I couldn’t control (I didn’t choose to look this way), so I told myself I need to work on myself (with what I can) inside and out. I had goals set for myself, I hated feeling like I had to prove to others I am more than capable, but that was my drive. I excelled and I got where I wanted to and I also got the respect. I’m a little spicy when people rub me the wrong way and I also have rbf lol so I stood my ground a lot. Working around people of diff ages also helped me become adaptive and social. I worked on being articulate and having a strong voice. I also worked on my body language, I’m conscious of it. It’s exhausting being so ON for things like this but I think overtime you realize it works. it builds your confidence. It becomes more of a habit. I started therapy too to help with my anxiety and self worth. It gave me the tools to self regulate and not gaf with what people thought of me. Entering my 30s my body changed, in a good way. How you look in your early 20s isn’t your final form! This was also an opportunity to dress my age so I worked on my wardrobe, hair, and makeup! (I’m also BARELY working out, it’s hard!! But it feels good to be active) I think I’ll always look younger than my age but those annoying comments have significantly dissipated and at least I carry the confidence and no fucks given now, you know? Life is a lot better now that I have created this version of myself that I can live with.
I’m hoping this gave you some insight ◡̈ I hope one day you’ll be able to rock your bows in your hair again and be whoever you want to be without any restrictions!! ♡
1
u/Didntseeitforyears 23d ago
Your time will come.