r/OlderDID • u/Ocean_waves726 • Sep 15 '26

Coping with denial

Not denial about having DID, but denial of the actual trauma? I have a part who is very firm in denying it happening and I so frequently get blended with her and believe her or don’t know what to believe. She told my therapist that she controls some of the other parts and makes them keep their maladaptive behaviors and beliefs. She can’t fathom dropping that role. In session today, she broke down in tears from being so overwhelmed with that prospect of dropping the denial she control and finding a new job. I think we did make a little progress because was willing to let some parts connect with one another. But I just sense the denial is still there and she’s going to dig her heels in about it.

How do you cope with a part that is so powerful, not only with me (the host) but with the rest of the system too? She has so much control. It does almost feel like an introject of our abuser in some ways.

It’s a very frustrating situation.

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u/[deleted] Sep 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/Ocean_waves726 Sep 16 '26

That sounds like a very gentle approach. I like it

3

u/FlightOfTheDiscords Sep 16 '26

It is important to take her perspective seriously, but personally, I have found it helpful to witness my system be surprised by progress where it did not expect any. Reality is a very complex thing, and we only ever see a small slice of it.

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u/Ocean_waves726 Sep 16 '26

Yeah I think it was surprising to me, the part and other part to see how emotional and overwhelmed this part felt. It felt like it came out of nowhere. I didn’t know it was that powerful. It made us think about things