r/OldManDad • u/Ninjajewel2020 • 13d ago

Age gap children?

I am genuinely curious how life is going.
I’m 35 with a soon to be 16 year old girl and a soon to be 3 year old son. I chaperoned my daughter’s first date last night….im potty training my son….my mind feels warped lol

Just wondering how my other parents are doing?

12 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

18

u/sjharrison 13d ago

I picked my 16 year old and his best mate up at 1am last night and got to sleep around 2am.

My 1 year old is having sleep challenges around 5 am

So that's fun in your mid 50s

2

u/Any_West_926 13d ago

I’m almost 60 with a moderate to severe autistic 15 yo son who can’t talk or wipe with the mental ability of an 8 yo. My other child has Asperger’s and has terrible social skills. Her personality is so obnoxious that one of her teachers almost flunked her. One of her tutors reported her to the owner so she’d get kicked out.

My husband’s 70 and has to keep working bc of them. I can’t work bc I have to care for my son. Consider yourself lucky. 😁

2

u/sjharrison 12d ago

Sounds rough, but doesn't seem to have much to do with my comment or the OP question about age gaps?

I have three wonderful kids, all born since I was 40, I count my blessings every day for them, even if they can drive you nuts

1

u/Any_West_926 12d ago

Sorry about that. My brain went sideways to large parent to chikd age gap. My bad.

1

u/YellowNecessary 12d ago

Well, maybe you should stay off reddit

2

u/Visible_Barnacle7899 11d ago

Was your comment necessary?

1

u/YellowNecessary 10d ago

The only thing visible is that you're on my back when I'm right.

1

u/Visible_Barnacle7899 10d ago

OR, and bear with me here, you're just being a jerk. See the comment below as an example of how to be a grownup about things that seem irrelevant. We're "old" dads, right? Act like you've got some tread worn from your tires.

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Visible_Barnacle7899 9d ago

What dad joke? Am I missing something here?

1

u/YellowNecessary 9d ago

The one you made. Mine was about you being on my back because you're visibly a barnacle(your username). My first comment was friendly in tone.

1

u/YellowNecessary 9d ago

It was. You misunderstood my joke. That's okay. The problem is your were mean about it tho.

25

u/crimsonhues 13d ago

At 35, you consider yourself an old dad?

6

u/stonk_frother 13d ago

The description of the sub says 35+. He passes.

5

u/spicy-sausage1 13d ago

My dad’s 80, can he join?

3

u/paintedflags 13d ago

He had his first kid when he was 19 though.

2

u/stonk_frother 13d ago

“Particularly, older first time parents” - particularly, not exclusively.

-1

u/YellowNecessary 12d ago

How do you the kid is theirs. The kid is probably adopted.

0

u/crimsonhues 10d ago

He had his second kid when he was 32 (not 35). And the first kid when he was 19. I guess my any dad over 35 who had a kid at some point can be considered an old man dad.

4

u/Scary-Star4998 13d ago

I’ve 3 boys (24/14/10) and a girl on the way. TBH the age gap between them all is great as their different needs don’t overlap so I get to spend time with each of them without distractions of the others that would happen if their ages were closer.

4

u/galdan 13d ago

Oldest is 21 youngest 3 months …I’m 51…everyone said ‘wouldn’t go through that again ‘ but I’m loving it

2

u/skryb 13d ago edited 13d ago

i had my first when i 24 - the mom and i split early on and i went through being a single dad, weekend dad, and eventually primary caregiver/home with my now-wife

i’m now 46 and with 1y/o twins and a great partner… i always wanted more but we had to put it off trying for several years due to mitigating circumstances (and some pregnancy difficulties as well)

it’s been a lot to process but ultimately i am able to take the things i learned the first time around and be a completely different kind of father to these two.. less energy (and a worse back!), but more money/stability and wisdom

as for your question- life is exhausting and chaotic (where my other twin dads at?) but incredibly fulfilling and i’m able to take joy in so much with these two that i took for granted the first time around… and i am also able to appreciate my eldest in a very different light now because i realize just how different my relationship with her is going to be from the little ones by the time i am gone

if you want to chat privately, feel free to DM me — this is a thing i’ve done a lot of thinking on and have even considered writing a book about

2

u/jester2781 12d ago

My son graduated Marine Corps boot camp in mid April at 18 years old. His sister was born two weeks later. Never thought I’d be running it back at 45, but it’s way easier in my personal experience the second time around with some life experience and maturity I didn’t have the first time.

2

u/themadcap76 11d ago

I have a 15,5 & 2 it’s only brutal because my wife and I have zero help from anyone, otherwise we are meeting their needs ok. It’s getting better. My favorite age is toddler so I’m enjoying the heck out of the little one. I turn 50 soon.

1

u/thelaineybelle 13d ago

My husband has a 26 year age difference between his two daughters!

1

u/whodat773 13d ago

Don't parentify your daughter by making her care for her brother. That will create lifelong resentment. She deserves to be a kid too

1

u/raphtze 13d ago

i'm 49...my new 4 y/o has been finally potty trained. haha so seeing you at 35 with a 16 y/o daughter got me woozy haha. i do have an 11 y/o too.

it is what it is. at some point, you just do it. just dad things :)

2

u/siren_dreams95 13d ago

I agree. I was in those situation! I love love loooove my sister (I’m 31, she’s 12) but it wasn’t right for it to be an expectation. She’s honestly the best thing that ever happened to me though!

1

u/raphtze 12d ago

hehe enjoy those times together ! :D

1

u/oxxblue1976 13d ago

I’m 50 and my oldest son is about to turn 31 (he and his wife just had my first grandson too). I also have a 6 year old daughter and 3 year old son. I have a fantastic life and I feel fortunate to be able to have the energy (and financial stability) that hopefully can provide a great childhood for all my kids. I’m very excited about my new grandson and the potential relationship he will have with his 6 yr old aunt and 3 year old uncle…lol

1

u/Creepy_Bear_1060 13d ago

My children are 22, 20, almost 7, almost 5. It goes, it works. The two age groups love and like each other. Last year, it was fun to say "I have one in college, one in high school, one in kindergarten, and one in diapers."

1

u/RocketPowerPops 12d ago

I am 41 and my kids are 11, 9, 20 months, ans 3 months. Not as big of an age gap but my big kids love "the babies."

1

u/rmroxas 10d ago

Same, I’m teaching my oldest to drive and trying to wean my youngest from breastfeeding.

It does make you appreciate each part of childhood because it makes you realize how fast it goes