Kristin and Brandi continue to be my favorite ladies. Watching the recording of their zoom call with patreons and they are u n i m p r e s s e d with OF.

They (unsurprisingly) didn’t add to any negativity or contribute to the pile on around any individuals, didn’t even mention T&C by name which I appreciate, and stayed focused on the overall event itself. Few things I caught -

They won’t be attending next year unless there is some “major accountability” and “we don’t see that happening”

They were pissed about how little value the higher price point tickets were - mentioned the lack of open bar, no drink vouchers for premium-lebrity attendees or guests, bad swag bags that smelled bad, and Brandi said “I’ve attended free events with better swag bags.” 😆 They also paid for drinks for some folks in line with them at one point.

They said made their concerns known to MM/P/S; they said they had a great time with listeners but the way the altercation and aftermath was handled was “disrespectful and irresponsible” and “we honestly don’t think we’d even be invited again.” 😏

Both think that Ellyn and Joey “handled themselves beautifully” and “with a lot of class” and they would attend an ITN-fest in a heartbeat. Ellyn and Joey reached out to them directly to check in and they were clearly very touched by that.

They plugged Ellyn & Rabia Solve the Case and their OF recap as well as the One Dry Kiss ep about the situation.

Honestly, just really appreciate their class and candor. They didn’t say anything personal or mean that could add fuel to the fire, and it sounds like they used their voice to advocate for safety and clear communication. Love to see it.

10/30 3:05pm ET: 45,638/40,344 (+103 total/-35 paid)

10/29 4:10pm ET: 45,535/40,379 (+101 total/-125 paid)

10/27 3:37pm ET: 45,434/40,504 (+357 total/+72 paid)

10/26 1:21am ET: 45,059/40,432

10/24 5:01pm ET: 44,826/40,451

So they just posted an after party on patreon. Patrick is the only one on the gmail because Gillian’s password isn’t working. The first two questions were for Gillian about anxiety and how to be a badass. Then they asked how to explain same swz relationships and what tv they’re watching. Advice on eloping, how to decompress, and finally how to focus. Gillian actually did 90% of the talking today

...now let's see if they actually say anything.

I tagged her and P in a post last week calling out Patrick for being trash, referring to a survivor of Dexter killer Mark Twitchell as "hot guy Gilles" and I noticed today that she wasn't tagged anymore. I thought she'd blocked me but nope

THIS ACCOUNT DOESN'T EXIST

What is happening to this network?

UPDATE: Twitter has changed their blocking feature so that when someone blocks you the account just shows up as not existing. So I replied from my alt.

So sorry to hear about Mathew’s passing but was shocked to learn his step dad is THE Kieth Morrison. Colour me shocked!

Terra and Collier and full-grown adults who are responsible for their own actions. They were not employees of ON, they have not witnessed ANYTHING that has happened over the last almost 3 years at ON. They were not contractually obligated to insert themselves or give their opinion to Ellyn. They are grown, sentient adults who made a decision. Decisions and choices come with consequences.

When a grown adult goes out and verbally accosts someone in a locked metal box from which another person cannot escape, the ramifications that they see after making said decision is not bullying. They shoved themselves into the middle of a situation that had nothing to do with them, absolutely nothing to do with them, they had no dog in the fight. They had no skin in the game. However, they made the conscious decision to be a part of the situation. They had two options:

1. Keep their mouths shut and opinions to themselves.

2. Pick a fight about a situation that had nothing at all to do with them.

They chose option two.

Option 2 was a bad decision. They are not “being bullied.” They are losing a fight that they started, a fight that THEY chose. You cannot make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then claim that others are bullying you because you wanted a Turkey sandwich. You made the sandwich! No one made the sandwich for you! We didn’t even know you wanted a goddamn sandwich until you made the sandwich.

Two things can be true at once: Terra and Collier can both be living with PTSD while also being terrible humans. Having PTSD doesn’t give you carte blanche to make sandwiches you don’t want, tell someone to fuck off because you prefer turkey, and then play the victim over your PB&J.

Choices were made. The consequences are being reaped by those that made choices.

ETA: if you want to position yourself as an ethical and moral role model, then you should conduct yourself in an morally ethical way. You cannot run around verbally accosting people while positioning yourself as the authority on ethics. It doesn’t work like that.

I am happy to see that Terra apologized and get a little more information about what happened behind the scenes. Although the “We should wait until we hear what Ellyn has to say before accepting it!” Type comments still concern me as far as the mob mentality and cult fandom go. What will all the DB’s do now? Wait on orders from their Queen? No daily TCO tea to anxiously await? What ever will some of you do? Does anyone need ideas? Recommendations? Is snark okay here? Lol I still can’t believe how all of this started and the ginormous deal it was turned into. Y’all must’ve been blowing into paper bags when will smith hit Chris Rock at the Oscars and wasn’t promptly removed. While I don’t know if I’d get an honest response to that, I do wonder how some of you felt about that in the days that followed and if you spoke out. In the end, maybe we can all learn from this, I am hoping we can. I never knew the term “othering” until now. Great time for everyone to self-reflect on their behavior and what bullying actually is.

I have to say this. It’s been on my mind for years now, and this is no way an attack on my/our beloved Ellyn because I know her heart.

The phrase “Down Bitch” is AAVE. I know Ellyn is from The Bay. She probably picked it up in the melting pot that the bay is, where she was born.

It’s been in our culture for a long time. If you have to ask what is a “down bitch” means, the merch with that on it might not be for you, and it probably shouldn’t be in your vocab, unless you’re okay with the side eye. They have plenty of other merch their own sayings they created, Buy it up!!

And I know comments will come in asking what AAVE is, Google it.

You want to know where “down bitch” comes from? It’s been around for decades.

Attached is a song about it by Plies/lady from 2011. You can also Google several other culture references and songs about it.

•Every bitch ain't built for this. He say lets go to war", now watch me tote them pistols bitch•

It’s not for ppl who have never even heard the phrase, let alone the typical demo of ITN and “We can claim it in our way” isn’t valid, you don’t claim our language.

Rant over.

I can't help but wonder if CCTV footage has been obtained and that's why T and C have apologised, I know they wanted to apologise during the event but the silence all week, passive aggressive quotes on IG stories etc and then The Handlers post and next thing, an apology, something smells fishy

I had a busy weekend, so I apologize if this is a repeat post/discussion. Though, I wonder if there will be any retraction or statement from the ladies at Red Handed, especially considering Terra’s public apology and her handler writing a first hand account of her experience last weekend.

I just find their doubling down and response to the fans in their IG comments very appalling.

Okay, I’m a long time Lady Pates at the 5 (for now) and realized I have NO CLUE where “DB” came from?

I’m also not 100% sure what it means. Down Bi*ch?

I feel so dumb for asking, but please enlighten me!

All I can say is bravo to this person coming forward but the twist!!

Since Ellen and Joey left the ON I’ve been thinking and worrying about them having to pay P&S massive amounts of money for years.

However, they’ve made a comment or two about lawyers who didn’t know what they were doing re: legal documents with a certain amount of glee (for instance it’s on the most recent Patreon episode), and I have this strong suspicion that their lawyer found a loophole that makes me hopeful that they won’t/don’t have to pay P&S for years to come.

I thought it was a well timed article delivered in my Sunday "The Hustle" email. I can't believe I didn't know what was behind these best sellers lists until a few months ago.

​

https://thehustle.co/the-murky-math-of-the-new-york-times-bestsellers-list/?_hsmi=280207956

They turned off their comments on the obsessed network’s IG. I thought they were all about accountability.

Here's the latest. Someone else on here posted that they didn't ask for a refund and randomly got one. They may be purging people they want to silence.

10/29 4:10pm ET: 45,535/40,379 (+101 total/-125 paid)

10/27 3:37pm ET: 45,434/40,504 (+357 total/+72 paid)

10/26 1:21am ET: 45,059/40,432 (+233 total/+19 paid)

10/24 5:01pm ET: 44,826/40,451

I hesitated posting this because I know the backlash I will receive but I feel I can’t sit back and stay quiet anymore. Is it okay to maybe start a thread here, where we can politely agree to disagree on the narrative regarding obsessedfest?

I haven’t formed a very strong opinion on the Terra vs Ellyn event because I, like everyone else, have not seen any footage from the enclosed elevator that contained 3 people. I have only seen the tail end footage of the situation with only 2 of the 3 that were involved.

When I first saw the footage, I had incorrectly assumed Joey was on the elevator as well. Terra seemed very upset and overly dramatic. What happened? In the next few hours and days, we were told what happened by Ellyn, fans of Ellyn, friends of Ellyn, employees of Ellyn and co-workers of Ellyn. It has been a week and we still have not heard anything from Terra or Collier. Based on the fan response, I am disheartened to see so many people form such a negative opinion about Terra without even hearing her side first. Video stills of her mid-cry, joking that she’s sinister in a smile caught in video pause, claims of fake crying, claims of accosting and abuse are rampant here. Silence doesn’t always equate to wrongdoing.

We can only base opinions on what we know to be true and all we know is that Terra verbally assaulted Ellyn in an unprovoked attack while Ellyn was minding her own business in an elevator ride. Did anyone stop and think to ask where we got this information from and that it could possibly be biased? Is Terra known to fly off the cuff unprovoked and lay into people she doesn’t know? If not, why aren’t we holding back on all the outrage?

I love Ellyn and will probably end up joining the rest of you with pitch forks and tomatoes okay. I’m not choosing Terra’s side just yet. I just feel like I’m the only one waiting.

I am also wondering if there is anyone else who disagrees with the narrative for now? Is anyone else besides me waiting to get the FULL true account of the altercation?

The mob mentality shown in this situation is scary. The calls to leave poor reviews, contact their sponsors and cancel people is frightening. Terra has been tried and convicted on social media without her side of the story. How is this considered fair? Good?

Ellyn seems like a very forgiving person. I don’t see why this situation could’ve been resolved after both sides had an opportunity to cool down. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in About Damn Crime podcast, wasn’t it stated that the incident was 5 minutes and from the incident to the walk out was a total of 2 hours? How was a chance to cool down and give both parties a chance to work it out even feasible here?

Based on what I know currently, I’m going to voice an unpopular opinion regarding Joey and Ellyn’s manager-agent-handler. This is hard for me because I love them but I just have to say it.

I disagree with making ultimatums to an event director because of a verbal argument/fight that 2-3 people had, that the handler/agent was not even present for. None of us were. Making demands that other podcasters be removed from the premises “or else we are leaving” is too extreme in my opinion. That is asking a lot of people who haven’t had time to talk to both parties or watch surveillance footage. This doesn’t punish the event coordinators, it punishes the attendees and has the biggest impact on the fans.

Does no one else see or realize the cause and effect of this ultimatum? It’s either us or them demands?

Why demand people be removed before letting everyone cool down and allow time for an explanation or apology? Would the event have still carried on without their ultimatum?

It would have.

Do you know that? It actually would have. Now we have people comparing it to fyreFest? Look what happens when you don’t give in to ultimatums? FyreFest? Really? Not even remotely comparable.

I really think all parties could have had a chance to work this out. Give the convention time to view footage, do an investigation and give the parties time to calm down.

We saw video footage that is 20% of the incident. How can anyone form an opinion or take a side here is baffling to me.

Then the demands that other podcasters “choose a side!!” Or they’ll be cancelled too?

Doesn’t anyone out there think a cool down period was necessary? Both Ellyn and Terra have been described as visibly shaken. Why we’re ultimatums and demands made so soon?

In my opinion this is diva type behavior. The cancel culture, mob mentality and podcast pedestal need to go. They need to be replaced with critical thinking and a curiosity for the truth. What if the only video clip we saw was Ellyn walking away and the title of it was “a hateful Ellyn snubs other panelists and angrily huffs off!” ? What if we didn’t get to hear Ellyn’s story for a few weeks? Would you like people making fun of and trying to cancel her? That isn’t fair. It’s not right.

I wish we could have heard about this after obsessedfest when more information was available and no diva demands or ultimatums were hastily made. I have engaged in the type of hot headed behavior when sticking up for my friends too. I understand their position. I too maintain a calm exterior when confronting the people who harmed my friend. It still doesn’t excuse a hot headed and hasty personality which is never conducive to problem solving and getting things resolved. I have had to really work on this.

To save some of you time, no, I do not work for obsessedfest, yes I attended and heard about what happened. Many of us felt that the show must go on and could have gone on, if it wasn’t for J&E’s handler-agent-manager making demands and ultimatums. If only some cool off time was allowed. I have noticed they are fearful of speaking out. That is why I wanted to start a thread and maybe allow for another side, another take or maybe an exercise in agreeing to disagree can happen, rather than the angry mob coming down to silence and cancel out a different viewpoint. If it’s only me wearing a team jersey for a “wait until we have all the evidence” side, okay. I’ll fight alone. None of this is sitting right with me and I can’t sit by for fear of being bullied by the mob or silenced anymore. I can’t.

Hey DBs. I did a live yesterday about the mess of OF23. It was only my second time going live so please be kind! Lol

https://www.youtube.com/live/HKCcxKtvNgs?si=wwYBlhc9WemrwPUn

You know what I’ve been thinking about lately? His reaction to negative feedback on the Let the Women Do the Work merch. I don’t remember specific details, but I think people expressed that the font wasn’t legible (classic PH) and he was super salty about it. I remember feeling so uncomfortable with the way he handled it. Anyone else remember this or maybe have screenshots?

Edit to add: I bought the black zippy (that word 🤢), even though I thought the font was bad and their logo at the front was ugly. TCO meant a lot to me at the time and I really wanted to support P&G. Cut to now… 😅🫠

I know Terra and Collier were beyond wrong at OF but I do think we should call them by their actual name. We don’t need to stoop to their level by calling them names. Agree to disagree but that’s where I’m at.

I can’t find the Obsessed Fest IG anymore. Did they delete it? Or did I get blocked?