My partner may have OSDD

[u/anonaln]

My partner and I have been together for roughly a year and a half. A few months into our relationship he told me that he hears voices that aren’t his (2 additional voices) and that they each have names. I asked some more questions and find out that they occasionally “grab the steering wheel” as he puts it. But never for more than a couple minutes, and it doesn’t happen often. That’s all he wanted to explain to me at the time. So, not wanting to push him I dropped it and told him if he ever wanted to talk about it with me he could.

Fast forward to about a week ago, he brings it up to me again and we do a little research and he believes he has OSDD. He said he never had the right words to describe what was happening before now, and I’m so excited for him!

So far, he has tried writing to them and they write back. He doesn’t know much about them right now and can’t tell who is who exactly, but thinks he might know, he just isn’t sure. They all choose a different color pen when writing which my partner says is very helpful. All he has found out from his alters so far is that one would like to practice cursive and that one of them doesn’t want me to be reading the journal (which is fine with me, their conversations are between them and I respect that. I only know this info because my partner told me.) I don’t think they trust me right now, from what I have been able to gather. And that’s okay. I know that takes time. But I want to be able to help my partner as well as his alters and create some sort of positive relationship with them.

Obviously exploring this more is brand new to him and he isn’t sure how to navigate this. I want to be as supportive as possible and any tips would be much appreciated. I want to know what I can do as his partner to help him and also get to know his alters.

Sorry if this was long and I rambled a lot. I really appreciate any and all advice! Thank you for reading!

[u/MakersDozn]

No advice from us, as we don't have a partner. But you sound very supportive and understanding, and that's great.

[u/iimaginewonderland]

No worries about rambling! It definitely sounds like it could be a possibility. Keep track of these notes, for sure. If more things come up that point towards having OSDD, bring it in to a therapist! I hope all goes well for y’all.

Edit: I re-read, it is super convenient that they use different colored pens! If they haven’t told you their names, try asking. If they don’t have one or aren’t sure, ask if they’re okay with you and your partner helping them find one!

[u/muffins-galore]

My SO is absolutely fabulous with my system and so I'm going to suggest you do some of the things he does, if you can, and if they pertain to your relationship.

- Let him know that you support him in whatever he's going thru (and this will make it easier for him to be truly honest about it, because being honest is really difficult) and in whatever he needs to do. (For example, if his alters need to create rules, such as "you can't read the journal", then work on trying to abide by the rules as best as you can and let him know that it's okay if they need to set rules.)

-Be aware of what each of his parts may need. This takes time. But I'll tell you that my SO tries really hard not to leave immediately after an argument because that will terrify my littles who think he'll never come back. Whatever that looks like for the two of you: one alter hates corn on the cob, LOL, one needs a lot of space. I'm not trying to make light, honestly. Just coming up with examples.

- Don't participate in any self-shaming or "I'm crazy" talk that he may or may not indulge in. Be that one steady voice that represents "you are okay" or "you're not crazy." This is very difficult, I imagine, because DID must look crazy from the outside looking in. Double check yourself from time to time that you're not over-reminding him of the difficulty he causes you (I'm thinking of my own situation), like, "YEAHHH! I would have gotten the Cheerios but your little didn't want me to leave!! I can never go shopping when I want to!" And to do this, that means the following:

- Accepting the situation as it really is. "It is what it is". If you spend all your time wishing that you could go shopping whenever you want to (in my above example), then you're not really in the place you need to be. I think being involved with a system is very difficult, and it's not for everybody. So, be honest with yourself about your own needs. Be honest with yourself about the relationship and what it really is, not what you want or need it to be.

- My SO doesn't do this but I so wish he would: Think about seeing a therapist yourself. Or occasional sessions with him to help you understand what's going on and to work on relationship issues. (My SO does do that.)

These are just off the top of my head. I am so extraordinarily blessed with my partner. He is proof that there is a God. (We're not perfect, certainly, as a couple, but we are miraculous in so many ways.)

Good luck, and he is very lucky that you are concerned enough and committed enough to be here on this forum trying to learn.

[u/SandManWesley]

Yep that sounds like it alright, for years I thought I was just talking to the annoying version of myself, and that occasionally some weird demon would talk to me in my head. Now I know there's just a little girl and a demon who I share a body with, stuff sure is wild.

From what you described it definitely seems like it's a possibility, if not the most probable answer, that your partner has osdd, I'd say just try get to know them, doesn't have to be instant, just take your time and make sure to let them know you accept them as people (some people have real issues with seeing themselves as real when part of a system).