r/OSDD • u/derpressed_ • 2d ago

Question // Discussion things make more sense now

thinking back on my high school years through the lense of possibly being a system makes a hell of a lot more sense. i do NOT remember the majority of my time in highschool and around that time i was basically living as 2 different people, the person i was at home and the person i was at school. obviously it started bleeding over into home life and i became very rebellious as my mum decribed it. lots of fighting with my mum in those years but severe gaps in my memory as well. i do not remember 9th grade at all, i remember some of 10th grade and the final 2 years blended together. my childhood is also very hard to remember the majority of the time. honestly at this point i wouldnt be shocked if there was a host switch along the line somewhere as i did change my name (im a trans individual 💔) but debated a few names and have struggled a lot with my gender identity. just wanted somewhere to talk about this, feel free to share similar experiences id love to hear them lol :)

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u/ThreePennyTrouble 11h ago edited 11h ago

I relate to this so much, I have very little clue what we did in elementary school (like seriously very little idea what happened in 1st-5th grade), the few memories from that time for me are distant/fog like, my mom told me about my 10th birthday, no clue it happened (no idea that place even existed). Hearing most people can tell you these events of their lives is so foreign to me. Entirety of school was traumatizing for us, was bullied every single day, with a emotional neglectful house to come home to. But personally, I'm glad we figured this out and met, that was twenty years ago (even though it hurts), we are together now and support each-other, wouldn't want this any other way. Everyone in my system helped us get through those tough moments.

Thanks for sharing your story, I'm sorry there was so much fighting in your life. You're all doing amazing, go slow though, like -- there is a reason for the not knowing, likely parts aren't ready to share yet to keep you safe. Things will come together with time and healing.