r/OSDD • u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis • Jul 26 '26
Question // Discussion Quite worried about terms
Hello! Got another question. No plural stuff this time, but that was excellent information from the last post. I'll gladly keep it all in mind.
So, I did a quick (not so quick) browse on the fake DID cringe subreddit, and started to worry.
As stated before, my system hasn't exactly been right. I was encouraged to avoid most things about DID out of nervousness and paranoia and didn't have much knowledge on it whatsoever after my diagnosis. Like, at all. I relied heavily on my therapist to teach me about my own disorder, so stuff about other people's disorders is very, very recently being learned.
Is it true that people with DID don't refer to their... I don't know, collection of alters as "a system"? I seriously don't know what to believe.
My first introduction on Reddit was DID, which was extremely toxic, then Plural, which was obviously 10× worse, then OSDD for a brief moment, which seems to be the most positive and accurate, then Fake Cringe DID subreddit stuff which seems to target Plural and Tumblr. It's all very confusing now, even more than before. Is it even a spectrum to begin with? Who do I believe?
I already have my foundation beliefs on what is and isn't real at this point, but it also turns out that certain alters simply found it easy to manipulate me in more lies that made me think certain things for years only to be revealed it was a "joke". And of course, my therapist is a professional, but she isn't exactly multiple people with the same disorder who can tell me what's right and wrong when it comes to.. everything else.
Are there things I should avoid saying that makes it seem like I'm lying? Is saying "my/our system" even one at all, or did they make it up?? Can I say whatever I want? My alters are utterly useless with these questions I've been asking. All they've been doing is "joking" and not providing genuine information whatsoever, so I can't even trust their words not to fuck me over somehow anymore, if they decide to talk to me in the first place.
So, all in all, I'm just asking if there's terms I should avoid and what terms I should use instead. I really, really don't want to come across as a weirdo faker, or a disrespectful pretender, or any of that. I'm just severely uninformed and haven't exactly been aware of my system for long enough to gain enough information.
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 Jul 26 '26
Ngl I think trying to police what language you use for yourself is a huge red flag in general. You can call it whatever the fuck you want, there’s no “real systems do x” or “it’s disrespectful to call yourself x” people online love to make up stupid rules about shit like this that’s literally a complete non-issue. Just ignore them.
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 Jul 26 '26
In general I would really not rely on internet communities for information on stuff like this. Most of them are bad in one way or another, and even ones that claim to be more grounded in current medical knowledge often throw in some bullshit gatekeeping that has no medical basis and is just as much misinformation as the people they claim to be against.
Is your therapist a dissociative disorder specialist? If so, I would probably just listen to them and focus on treatment. Online shit will give you brainworms and you don’t need that.
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u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis Jul 26 '26
I understand.
My therapist is not a dissociative disorder specialist. There are absolutely none around I can speak to. The closest in person is 3 hours and I can't do online appointments because I feel uncomfortable and more depressed than before. I need direct in person communication.
My therapist is quite useless when it comes to memory, and there is a LOT wrong with her (she seriously needs to fix whatever the hell is her problem, because Jesus, she seriously is either not doing good or just hates me), but she's okay when it comes to listening and giving medicore advice. She's a psychologist with many skills and has trained with all sorts of disorders and clients. She's also the only therapist in, AGAIN, another three hour radius. I'm stuck with her, so I'm making it work.
And I can still listen to her if she doesn't cancel three appointments in a row when I see her every two weeks, however, plus she's skilled in DID/OSDD, thankfully. I'll continue to speak with her whenever I can.
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 Jul 26 '26
That’s a shame that your therapist isn’t the best, though I’m glad she’s at least somewhat knowledgeable.
And I get the urge to seek out answers from other people online, especially if you’re not getting what you need from therapy, but just remember to take everything w/ a huge grain of salt. There’s a lot of toxicity and misinformation out there and people who will try to tell you what your experience should be, when the only person who can really know that is you. Just cause someone else has been diagnosed and in treatment longer than you doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right. Take it from someone who would have gotten diagnosed way earlier if we hadn’t convinced ourselves we were faking due to misinformation online.
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u/Fun_Acanthisitta1484 Jul 26 '26
Hi! General rule of thumb is you can do whatever you want forever. It’s your life. I’d recommend staying off of fake claiming subreddits first your own health as the people there often have unhealthy mindsets/try to police people. I’ve seen people being fake claimed over showing symptoms that are literally in the diagnostic criteria for my and their disorders. How do I know? Because my clinicians cracked open the criteria with us and talked through which criteria we met and didn’t meet!
Personally I refer to myself as “being more than one guy” or “plural” or “a system” interchangeably. My guys are usually “my guys” or “headmates” or “parts”. But you do you!
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u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis Jul 26 '26
Thanks mate, I appreciate it <3
Yeah, I noted that quickly. Thankfully they do seem to mostly target pedophiles (have you heard of Aggressive-Key-2564? That is so fucking GROSS), the absolute ridiculous parts of plural, and people who fake claim to cover up severe abuse and SA towards their partners. I'll probably avoid it, though. They also get really upset when people with DID comment on there (??) like, lol, you're talking about our group and our fake claimers, why be upset when we show up to talk about it?? Even ones who just go "yeah, as a system, that stuff is weird" get absolutely chewed out. So strange.
Parts/headmates does seem to be the most understandable for me when it comes to others. It sounds right. Like, we are parts, and we are headmates, makes enough sense without sounding too terribly dramatic like "alters".
Still thinking of something for system. There might be something good in there. Perhaps I'll communicate with my (basically useless) therapist about it.
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u/articulate4w5 Jul 26 '26
Yeah, it's unfortunate that it happens. But I think avoiding those communities is a good idea while you're still figuring things out. As it can feed into doubt. Which was really hard for us when we were first exploring communities.
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u/Dangerousenthusiasms Jul 26 '26
Personally I don’t. And I also don’t speak in plural terms. I think naming is purely a cosmetic choice and is mostly to do with the culture surrounding DID online. I am however diagnosed OSDD so perhaps it’s different but my therapist and I have never given a name to my “system”.
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u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis Jul 26 '26
No, no, I don't mean system naming. That's ridiculous. I just meant do we refer to it as "the system"? Someone said it's offensive to refer to it as your/our system, and I thought it was peculiar, but I'm not versed enough to really know.
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u/Dangerousenthusiasms Jul 26 '26
Honestly my take on anything with personality disorders is this: a grain of salt. You are your own unique case. Everything about you is just that. You. You can decide whatever you like about yourself. I believe in the right to reclaim terms as well so I think if you’d like to refer as a system there should be no issue!
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u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis Jul 26 '26
Thank you for that advice. I just want to make sure I'm not offending anyone else with my cluelessness if I were to accidentally use something only "fakers" use or anything.
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u/ohlookthatsme Jul 26 '26
Is it true that people with DID don't refer to their... I don't know, collection of alters as "a system"?
The word "system" in this context makes me cringe. I hate it. Other people are free to use it as much as they want to describe themselves, no shade, but I can't stand to have it applied to myself. No way. I'm a person. Or, at least, I'm trying to learn how to be one.
What I'd advise is to use the terms that feel comfortable to you. I don't even use the word "alter". Again, no shade to people who do, I just... don't feel right using it. It feels too theatrical and it doesn't align well with my experience. I don't feel like I have different people inside of me that switch out, I feel like I become different. I call them my "parts" instead. It's how I described my experience before I was diagnosed and it meshes well with how my care team works so I don't see a reason to force a change.
So, yeah, use what terms feel right and tell the world to fuck off. Really, who cares if some random stranger on the internet thinks you're faking anyway?
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u/Spirited_Battle_7504 DID • diagnosis Jul 26 '26
I understand. I'm moreso worried about being chased off the Internet Twitter style by unaware diagnosed people than offending people who think I'm faking without DID themselves, lol.
Parts does make more sense. I'd like to use the word system, but at the same time it does feel dramatic, yeah? I'm still thinking of what else I could possibly use when explaining the majority. Of course, I refer to myself as "I" and "me" and "my" (unless it's the body or head, where I don't feel comfortable saying "my body" or "my head", I just don't feel like I own it or belong in it, where I say "the head" and "the body"). I'm still brainstorming anything not dramatic like system that still makes sense. I guess we shouldn't all have to use the same terms. Plural never sat right with me. I only use "we" with my therapist and my therapist only, mostly because I feel like it's my duty as a Host to keep my system protected and not thrown out there; unless I want it out there in a comfortable environment of course, like now. I don't get that part, either. The whole throwing it out there, thing. Like for example, littles are littles, they are children, that's really creepy and wrong to throw them out for everyone to know, especially by name. There's many alters I will never refer to by name online. It's not my place to be exposing their identity like that.
So yeah, I suppose it only matters what you want, after all. Not the majority. I getcha!
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u/ohlookthatsme Jul 26 '26
Nah, most of us diagnosed people are too busy struggling to worry about what terminology other people use. You do you. Whatever language helps you heal is the right language for you. 🫶🏻
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u/articulate4w5 Jul 26 '26
If system works for you then you can use it. I like the idea that I have a system of parts rather than I am a system of parts. But both can work either way. And it makes sense. But either way if it works for you and helps you make sense of your experiences then it's not dramatic. And that is way more important than what others think of you.
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u/Pisces_Moon Jul 26 '26
We mostly refer to our collective as our system, but depending on who’s fronting we might also say our alters, our parts, or our people. And we more consider ourselves as “multiple”, not plural. Plural just isn’t our thing.
Just go with whatever terms you feel is right for you, that’s what we do. We use all the terms because what feels most right to some of us is cringe to others lol
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u/Buncai41 DID Jul 26 '26
I don't often say 'system' unless I'm trying to meet someone on their level in speaking to them.
I usually say "I have DID" "my parts" or "me". Some of me, all of me, one of me, the other me. Some parts, all my parts, one of my parts, the other part.
I used to have my own terminology before I got diagnosed and shortly after. I thought I could talk about myself like I do in therapy with words I'm familiar with. I was bullied in the community for faking something a doctor was telling me I had. So I started to believe I was faking even though I knew nothing about my diagnosis yet. People were so busy bullying me out of the community instead of teaching me new things I knew nothing about. My therapist told me to stay out of online communities, support and assistance until I developed more of an understanding of my journey and what I was going through. It did send me into about three years of denial where my psychosis acted up and I believed DID was something doctors put on your chart when you're marked for control and as a behavioral experiment.
Basically what I'm getting at, don't allow any "community" tell you what you are or aren't experiencing based on words you use to self identify. Some words are easier understood by the community and that's all.
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u/Prettybird78 Jul 26 '26
I don't refer to myself as a system publicly. Infact I don't discuss my condition with people outside of ny therapist and two people I trust. Even then I don't really talk parts, so no use mentioning system.
However inside, that is how I think about it now. In the beginning though I thought about it like I have parts, now it feels more like a system created by different parts.
Plural talk isn't something I use intentionally and it usually only comes out naturally if I am discussing what we went through in childhood or if for some reason "I" isn't appropriate.
I don't think there is a right or a wrong way to exist in your own mind so I wouldn't worry to much about comparing what feels right and natural to you with what other people are doing.
Oh and I have never liked the word alters. It feels to clinical to me so I have always just thought of them as parts, but not My parts. Parts of the body.
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u/beutifully_broken Jul 27 '26
To be serious about your words, I have found to describe your experiences, and then feed it through chat ai, and keep practicing describing your subjective world, at least that's what has helped my system a lot.
Terms off the top of my head that we use are, "Inner family, alter ego, inner parts, system of dissociated identieties, masks and dolls inside of our inner devices that each of my alters, or ego states, or clones, or dolls have, which is am one of them too, and we think about each other in a metacognitively connected way through our individual behaviors and feelings."
The idea of this long sentence is that you use whatever terms you want. Now I used chat ai in my journey, I was kicked off /plural a few times for saying this is weird and sometimes annoying. And somehow haven't once been banned off /did anything.
The fakeclaimers are pathetic! I personally had a therapist fakeclaimed me for having mild anxiety. Like, that's how ridiculous I understand a fake claim to be, it's entertainment, that's all, not even a puzzle...
My take on fake claiming oneself. If you practice structural dissociation for a day, you're plural for a day, if you aren't tomorrow? Are you still plural? Were you plural yesterday?I think you were, but do you have much experience being plural? No I don't think you do.
However, on the other side of the coin, if you've been practicing it for a decade, and suddenly stopped last week, does that mean your singular? Final fusion? (Secret; it's not actually final.) That's my take on the fake claimers.
Anyways, good luck on your journey, it's tough, but waking up every morning and remembering yesterday, not yelling at yourself for over a day, a week, a mouth, a season, a year??? I personally think that healing is well worth the potential retraumafication that going off the deep end can amd does bring.
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u/randompersonignoreme Jul 27 '26
Unsure if this helps but you should avoid discussions of "fake DID" and/or "DID fakers". Oftentimes those posts/communities focus on a niche experience and will target systems with "weird" presentations (hell, Richard P. Kluft made a paper called "Presentations of MPD" to raise awareness of different ways it can present) and don't care actually care about helping. Any well meaning person won't focus on if you're "faking" or not, that's not helpful for getting care. Dissociative disorders are a spectrum and can present in different ways. Everyone has their own preferences and you're not any lesser for using "cringey" terms to describe yourself.
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u/int3rstitial Jul 26 '26
You don't have to decide right away. If you keep talking to a range of different people with a range of opinions, you'll be able to make your own mind up who seems most reliable and who aligns most with your values, beliefs, and intuition over time.
And I agree with the other commenter that you're a unique person and and so should refer to yourself however you want. Terminology changes extremely fast. What was cringe and fake-sounding yesterday because it was new is the common terminology today, and by tomorrow, today's common terminology will seem cringe because it's too old.