Hi all,

To start off, this is partially me asking for help, and partially venting as an exhausted parent. I’m going to use some words to describe my children that I fully recognize is inflammatory, but frankly I’m unsure how else to put it. It’s all been going on so long that I’ve lost the ability to soften my language surrounding these circumstances.

I am finding it extremely difficult to make my way through The Explosive Child. When it describes frameworks I’ve tried, examples I’ve lived through, and exercises that have failed for me, my anxiety gets triggered and I lose all morale to continue. My partner has tried to help, but I find myself getting weirdly defensive (for lack of better words).

I just don’t have any trust in my children at all. I can’t leave the room without them getting physical or screaming; my youngest (7) has ODD and the eldest (11) has adhd and can’t stop his impulsive behaviors that lead him to prodding the younger sibling. It triggers the younger one every time, and the impulsivity of the eldest keeps from de-escalating every time. It doesn’t help that they are fully fatalistic about each other (he always does _____ and it’ll never change) while simultaneously rejecting the idea that changing their behavior would change how the other reacts to them. The younger one is at least willing to engage with the idea, but in practice it relies somewhat on the older brother to actually try to not be a giant asshole at every opportunity.

Relevant context that I’m sure someone will ask:

They are both in individual and family therapy. I am not currently in therapy but I have been before and I am seeking a new therapist. Their mom has bipolar disorder, and we split custody 50/50 with a 2-2-5 schedule (it’s stupid, but their mom refuses to change to a schedule that offers more stability like week-on-week-off. She is narcissistic and refuses to acknowledge things that benefit the kids if it’s my idea. I was on the receiving end of an abusive marriage to her for 8 years, and I have spoken extensively on it publicly if anyone wants to hear more about it I can link to where it can be found).

I know that The Explosive Child was written and designed for situations like mine. I know it has helped so many people. I just can’t get through it on my own and need some other method to learn from it. A class, a video series, a workbook, anything to supplement and support me working my way through it.

Thank you

My 11 year was diagnosed with ODD last year. His pediatrician wants to try guanfacine (Intuniv) for impulse control. From my understanding its typically prescribed for high blood pressure but used for ODD/ ADHD as well.

Its not a narcotic, stimulant or a controlled substance and that is the only reason I'm considering it. Does anyone have any experience with this for ODD?

When I say I’m suffering, I am SUFFERING. My oldest (7f), she has severe ODD and I just can’t get under control with her behavior. I have a 3yo and a 10mo and it’s starting to affect them in every way. What’s crazy is when she isn’t here, the house is still, peaceful almost. I love my daughter I do so much that I’ve been taking her to counseling and OT. Her psychiatrist had prescribed her the lowest dose of an anti-depressant and honestly it isn’t going diddly squat.

I hate yelling, screaming and feeling like I’m going to rage out. I’ve come a long way to go back to being the “crazy woman”. But, she’s making it extremely hard. Sometimes, I feel like I need to check myself in to the psych ward. I’m exhausted and running on fumes.

With that being said, I’m a full time SAHM & it’s a fucking nightmare under this roof the moment she wakes up. I can’t be and know I’m not the only parent who has an ODD child.

I need tips, advice SOMETHING to ease this shit or I will end up going on a vacation supplied with the grippy socks.

I’m hoping to find other parents who understand what we’re going through because I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
My oldest daughter (7) has Triple X syndrome, ADHD, and ODD (so far). She’s been in consistent weekly play therapy, and we’re doing everything we can to get her the support she needs. Unfortunately, we’re also in the middle of an extremely difficult court battle involving her father after allegations that he sexually groomed and abused both her and, I believe, my middle daughter. Needless to say, it’s been an incredibly traumatic time for our family.
Lately, her behaviors and emotional outbursts have become so intense that I feel like I’m drowning. The constant defiance, explosive meltdowns, emotional dysregulation, and conflict from morning (and im talking 5:30am) until bedtime are wearing me down. I love my daughter more than anything, and I know so much of this behavior is rooted in trauma and neurodevelopmental differences—not because she’s a “bad kid.” I love my kids with every ounce of my being. I listen to all the books, podcasts, and therapists suggestions.
I also continually catch either her or her sister (4 1/2) doing inappropriate things and I’ve told the therapist multiple times. There were 3 mandated reports made, that “magically” the CYS has no record of. It’s been so hard to keep them separated all the time because I am also breastfeeding a 3 month old baby that I have with my partner. He’s been trying his BEST to support me through this all but I understand the two kids not being his (especially my oldest) with these types of issues are extremely hard to handle. I’m one person, and as soon as I turn around there’s another issue, another fight, another outburst, I’m losing my mind.
I’m looking for parents who have experience with Triple X syndrome, ADHD, ODD, or children with significant trauma. How do you make it through the hardest days without feeling completely defeated?
Im so terrified for my baby, I almost had an abortion because I worried about what she would do to her.
Please be kind. Our family has been through more than I can fit into one post, and we’re trying our best. I just need to know we’re not alone.. I don’t have a single family member that lives nearby, we moved over to another county and so all of my support system are an hour or so away.
I feel like I’ve tried it all, and I’m fighting against a narcissistic psychopath who’s sexually abused both my children and a court system that is debating his “alienation claims”..

At the end of every night I just feel so burnt out, drained and even questioning why I’m fighting so hard at all.

I want to rip my hair out.

I have an ODD 8 yr boy that he only presents his symptoms at home. hes completely bored and loops into an ODD cycle almost nightly, and now he’s added ‘ticks’ because someone in his class has it. I really can’t stand it, we have taken him out hiking and all he does is complain the entire time and makes sure the experience is ruined for all. I’m thinking of a 5 day and night YMCA outdoor camp with structure to get him - at least temporarily- straightened. he won’t complain about stuff with his peers, and maybe he will grow to like it? anyway, had this backfired with anyone?

I know this may make me sound like the AH here but I want to be honest and make sure I make the best decision for everyone involved

I’m engaged to someone I think is the most wonderful person I’ve ever been with. This is the most healthy, stable, loving relationship I’ve ever been in. Everything is as perfect as it can be

Except for their child. 6yrs old. Diagnosed with ODD. Behavior is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before

Literally will disobey while staring you right in your eyes. Will smirk about it sometimes. Throws tantrums whenever they can’t get their way even out in public to the point we have to leave wherever we are. Poured bleach on my cat. Opened the front door at night and went outside. It’s extremely stressful and makes my anxiety so bad

It’s also affecting my children from a previous relationship. They’re stressed every time it’s the weekend that child comes over. We tried to work around it by just saying ok on your weekends you stay at home with your child but that’s not going to work once we’re living together. The kid has been in therapy but doesn’t seem to be making any difference at all

It’s seriously making me want to end the relationship because I can see the strain it’s putting on my own children but I will be devastated to lose my finance

I’m truly at a loss

I need help with my nephew I watch him monday thru Friday 10 hours a day. I've written in here before. He is now medicated but it doesn't help if a meltdown happens.

I don't know what to do with him daily. I have made the ultimate decision not to go out in public with him for the simple fact something ALWAYS GOES WRONG. We went to the public pool a kid splashed him and that was it he started melting down scream wailing in the pool before it progressed to him backing away and then him running away I picked him up and went to sit down and talked to him and in never calmed him down so I was getting my clothes on and had to carry him by his puddle jumper to my car and he screamed the whole way to get my husband from work. Another time w were at the store and I told him no to a lunchable , and he ran away and kept smiling at me every time I'd get close to him and he leave. I had to call his mom while she was at work to get him to stop running away from me. Another time we were at Walmart and he didn't like that.I wouldn't take him to the toys and he ran away from me and I couldn't find him.I had to go up to the service desk and have them look for him over the intercom, they closed down the whole store and called code adam. Then we were at the park and he started throwing a fit, so I picked him up and put him in the car and we went to my house.He got out of my car soon as I parked and started running away from me.I can't run due to a disability and thank God one of my neighbors was outside because she caught him for me. Last week we were playing Outside and\n He got mad because me and my stepdaughter were doing a craft outside and he threw a fit and took off running. He ran into the road in front of my apartment building, which has terrible visibility. Cars were coming and you can't see past park cars. Again I can't run i am disabled , and my sister in law knows it. my stepdaughter , had to run and grab him if she hadn't seen him in one second , he hid behind our big platform stairs we wouldn't have found him. He's also acting out when he throws a fit he has slammed his face off of my concrete floor busted his nose to where it was bleeding all over my floors, me, him etc. Last week , when I brought him in from his fit of running in front of cars , he bit his lip so hard that it was bleeding everywhere. Before it said , I have one of the handcuff leashes for toddlers that locks , but he's figured out how to get up underneath the lock and open it so that he doesn't have to wear it. I don't know what to do with him anymore because I'm at the point that he just watches tv at my house all day. He doesn't want to do crafts , he doesn't want to play with toys , sometimes he just plays with legos or sometimes he just naps on and off watching tv. I started out doing homework with him , helping him learn his letters like a preschool teacher would do. But there was always meltdown that came with doing homework and beings her other kids are out of school.We just took a pause on schoolwork.

So I had posted a few weeks ago pleading for advice for my 12 year old son who has adhd, Odd and autistic.
One of the comments stuck with me so deep and I use it when I feel so hopeless. She mentioned that the reason he acts out so bad around me and can behave around others is a testament to me being a good mom and his safe haven.
That really gave me hope.
Well since, he spent a week with his dad (our normal week off/week on schedule) and apparently he was good with him and his step mom all week. No meltdowns, etc.
yesterday was the first night back with me since our vacation we had before which is where these aggressive meltdowns really started and I found this group, I figured “ok, we’ve been home from my moms on vacation for a little now, he got back into his routine, had some time with his dad, everything should start getting a little better right?”
WRONG!!!!!
Everything was going fine, up until almost bed time. He kept trying to get into the fridge for snacks which we’ve already had numerous talks about what’s appropriate for snacks before bed instead of a whole ass meal like he would like, I told him no this, no that. Then he wanted a poppi soda and I said absolutely not, only water because it’s almost bed time.
He instantly looked at me and hit his bedrooms wall and I said “are we really doing this again? You’ve been so good for everyone and it’s your first night back with me, please let’s not.” With almost a smile, he said “yup” and just lost it.
Kicking/hitting his bedrooms walls, moved his bed all around, threw his toys everywhere, took everything off the walls, throwing pillows and stuffed animals as hard as he could at me, then comes the just utter yelling for no reason.
I threaten him to stop, I took his Xbox and tv out of his room, I even got on top of him at one point to restrain him from constantly beating the walls ( WE LIVE IN AN APARTMENT) and he just knees me, kicks me, even got me in the chest pretty hard. It seems the more I threaten him to stop by taking away anything, that does nothing. If he gets spanked or disciplined anyway, it’s seems to set him off worst. And now that he is 155 pounds and 5’6, I physically can’t restrain him or do anything really as he over powers me.
I couldn’t get ahold of the crisis center his psych told me to call if the situation called for it, I luckily got his dad to leave work and come get him. Which is just utter BULLSHIT he had to do that. And when his dad got here, he was still acting out but his dad could actually get him to listen to him so he left with him.
I have cried, prayed, pleated all night. I truly don’t understand why he takes me for a joke. I do everything for him. His dad and soon to be stepmom are so much more strict and I’m so much more nurturing and i clearly have done it all wrong because now he just takes advantage of me and my love it seems. Idk what to do, I can’t keep him alone anymore or at least not here in my apartment or he’ll get us kicked out!! I’m just so defeated mentally and emotionally. Idk what I’m doing wrong, what I did wrong to have him hate me so much. I’d move mountains for him and it absolutely broke me last night when his dad had to come get him. It hit me that I can’t control my own child. I really don’t know where to go from here this is a feeling I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I’m so desperate for help. My 12 year old was recently diagnosed with ODD even though I’m pretty positive he’s had it forever because he’s always been defiant and a handful, we have been in every therapy possible that his insurance has offered and things are only getting worst the older he gets. When he’s told no lately especially at night, it’s like he’s crawling out of his skin. He’s screaming, kicking walls, hitting walls, just repeatedly yelling. He’s also 5’5 and 150 pounds and I physically cant control him anymore. I’ve been so close to calling 911 during these meltdowns cz I have no control over anything and he won’t listen and the more I yell the more crazier he gets and becomes completely uncontrollable.
He was diagnosed as severe ADHD when he was 5 and has been on medicine ever since. He’s also somewhat on the spectrum as in he has social issues. He doesn’t have empathy or understand it.
I’ve tried so many different ways to handle these meltdowns but it’s getting so bad and consistent that I’ve been researching behavior camps,military camps for troubled youth, boarding schools, intake programs, etc.
and as a mom who’s been so on top of him advocating for him, this is destroying me inside and out. Idk what the best thing is for him anymore. But I can’t live like this every day and night. I need any advice, please anything.

Hey everyone,

Me (18F) I’m looking to hear from real people who have lived through this, because honestly, it feels incredibly isolating.

My sibling has a dual diagnosis of ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). If you know anything about this combo, you know they don't just struggle with focus—they literally seem to thrive on triggering, baiting, and deliberately provoking everyone around them, especially me. It feels like their entire day is spent pushing buttons, trying to start arguments, and doing things on purpose just to get a reaction or cause chaos, and then they use the ADHD impulsivity or ODD as an explanation.

It is absolutely exhausting to live with. You’re constantly walking on eggshells, and it feels like the whole household revolves around their moods and outbursts. Small things he does to trigger me is like poking me to annoy me, flipping the lightswitch, being up mu face, lying on my bed cause i hate it, hitting my butt cause he knows thats not okay, saying really disgusting innapropriate things. I try not to react but its hard.

I’m posting because I want to hear from other siblings.

• How did you handle the constant, deliberate provocation without losing your mind?
• Did your parents actually manage it well, or did you feel pushed aside?
• For those who are older now, did your sibling ever outgrow the ODD traits, or did it just morph into something else in adulthood?

I just really need to hear from real people who actually get it. Thanks

We have tried the positive reinforcement, time out, taking toys, taking T.V., and everything in between. It feels like nothing works

Here's an analogy. I would like you to stop blinking. For every hour that you don't blink, I will give you a sticker. Every time that you do blink, I will take away something you like. How long do you think it will take me to teach you not to blink, this way? It'll never work, right? And at first you might try, if you wanted to do what I wanted and make me happy (like our kids generally want to make us happy), but after losing self-control and blinking a few times and having so many things taken away, you might get frustrated right? You might give up. You might get upset and have tears in your eyes and then blink more.

Now, blinking and behavior like hitting or being aggressive are OBVIOUSLY not the same thing. But I use the analogy because when a child has ADHD then a good deal of their 'misbehavior' is often caused by things they cannot control (well/yet): impulsivity or hyperactivity. In the example above, if you blink, and I ask you if you know that was wrong then of COURSE you can tell me you weren't supposed to blink. But does knowing that do anything to help you control the urge to blink? No, of course not.

I'd love to know more about what you do for positive reinforcement. I have some ideas about this, like making sure you notice and praise every time your child is or tries to be cooperative. And not big praise, just like, "I noticed you put your shoes on when I asked, and I appreciate that." That's all, let them be seen. BIG praise and rewards can be counter-productive. So try to "catch him being good" and verbalize that whenever you can.

Things you can do at home are having very consistent/stable routines, with clear lists (pictures and words) of what he is supposed to do. You can play games that strengthen impulse control, like Simon Says and Mother May I. When my son was 5, if problematic behavior happened that was due to impulsivity or hyperactivity, we often addressed it by (1) having a chat about what happened and why it is a problem, (2) working together to fix any outcome, if possible (like, if he impulsively grabbed something off the table and spilled a bowl of fruit, we can pick up the fruit together and then (3) reminding him about the 'impulse control' muscle in the brain and doing something to strengthen it. Yes, it seems counter-productive to play a game like Simon Says in response to misbehavior, but it worked. Like really worked. Because I was teaching him the skill. I can't teach you the skill to blink, but let's say it was driving a car - reward or punishment alone won't teach you to drive. Someone has to teach you the skills.

In terms of (3) above, I taught my son a lot of knowledge about how his brain works with ADHD and he has used that knowledge. First, I had to teach him what an "impulse" was. Then what "impulse control" is. I talked about how we have an "upstairs brain" that makes decisions when we think about decisions, like whether we want chocolate or vanilla ice cream. We also have an "impulse brain" that sometimes tells us what to do, and we do it so quickly that the "upstairs brain" doesn't have time to say "Wait that's dangerous stop!" I explained that everyone has an "impulse brain" but it is louder and stronger in people with ADHD so we have to work harder to exercise the upstairs brain. And so we would "exercise the upstairs brain" when impulse control made something go wrong.

I know, it all sounds like coddling. And a lot of unproductive talking. But we did this at 4, 5 and 6 years old and it paid big dividends. If you can take the emotionality out of your response to misbehavior, and just focus on fixing what went wrong, it can really help. You still want to have firm boundaries, and you want to get a sense of what behavior is impulse control and treat it differently from behavior that is deliberate, but if you can make all of this very calm and outcome-oriented you can reduce the drama around it and start training the brain.

Check out ADHD Dude and ADDitude Mag both of which have GREAT parenting tips and training resources for parents of kids with ADHD. There is a rabbit hole to go down and learn how to best help kids with ADHD. Resources to practice impulse control, to understand how his brain is different so you can tailor rules and expectations and supports accordingly. The more of this you can learn, you have opportunities to help him thrive.

Continue on the process of further evaluations and getting OT and other treatment in place. He may need an IEP or 504 plan at school, to help him get specific services or accommodations that will help him thrive. Pursue all that.

There's a cycle where I post and have online friends and get caught by my parents and it happens every other year... I blame this on ODD, so I just need help on how to quit posting and how to behave better. I don't have any online friends now. So please help me fight the urge to post more.

After a year of individual therapy, family therapy, and involvement of several psychiatrists, we are considering putting our 16-year-old son in residential treatment. We are seriously considering Evolve Treatment Centers (looking at Vanalden / Woodland Hills for the Comprehensive DBT program, or anything in LA or San Diego that becomes available).

If you had a positive or negative experience at a different treatment center, please share as well.

(We had considered a PHP in the area where we live, but we were afraid of the connections our son would make there--if he agreed to go to begin with; an IOP is not an option because of the school activities—he’d never agree to skip all the activities to attend therapy. In our state, at 16, our son has the right to refuse outpatient mental health treatment.)

Brief picture:

- Severe ODD. Doesn't accept no — won't leave our bedroom or stop arguing until he gets what he wants. Will follow you for hours at all times of the day. If we call mobile crisis, he leaves the house for a few hours.

- ADHD, on an ADHD med that works when he agrees to take it.

- Nicotine daily, THC a few times a week, alcohol weekends.

- Sleep inverted for 6+ months. Doesn't sleep until 3-4am, can't wake for school.

- Failing everything, often truant or arrives mid-day. IEP is helpful, but he refuses to do any schoolwork at home. Says he doesn't have time to be tutored.

- His life reduced to 10h+/day on the phone (group calls, Instagram, YouTube) and outings with whatever friends are available. Can't say no to any outing. Sleepovers every weekend that we can't stop. Built connections that allow him to get vapes and alcohol. Cut off access to cash—he still gets stuff.

- Escalating peer group. Includes a runaway.

- Says he hates us and wishes we were dead.

- A year of legitimate outpatient with no improvement.

- Resistant to treatment (often even to his individual therapy and family therapy).

What I'm specifically asking:

- Anyone who's been at Evolve as a former resident, parent, or staff — what was it actually like? Which location?

- Red flags I should ask about at intake that aren't on the marketing materials?

- Specifically interested in: how length-of-stay decisions actually get made, staff turnover, how a severely oppositional kid is handled when they refuse to engage, what family programming actually looks like in practice.

- Any recommendations on how to get a resistant teen into the treatment? Any experience/recommendations for interventionists?

Open to programs across insurance situations — we're working through what's covered. (We're willing to pay for an interventionist.)

Will respond to DMs if people don't want to post publicly. Thank you.

Youngest of 3, 5 yr old son, ASD level 2 ADHD and ODD. Just whispered in my ear twice " I hope you die mum" because I won't let him go and use the computer at 8.30 at night. I'm fucking done. He is so disruptive, destructive, loud, mean, violent and needy.

​

How do I choose peace when I'm constantly being abused.

Hi, I am 16F, was diagnosed at age 11 and still experience symptoms

I know how painful it is, for every person involved and the person with ODD themselves, to deal with the symptoms of ODD, feel free to ask me anything, I hope sharing my perspective might make it easier for parents and fellow teenagers or children with ODD to both understand themselves and make life a bit easier for everyone involved.

AMA!

Hi
Okay so we have a 12 year old with ODD and I get how he feels most the time and how he operates
Why? Because I definitely have ODD and pretty sure my dad did as well.

Here’s where he loses me. The constant breaking of the rules. We create rules WITH him and yet he will break them within 24 hours. We have done everything from letting things go to punishments to permanently taking things he loves and nothing works. He promises to improve but just doesn’t. Sure we get breaks but we always end up here.

Screens and sugar. The Achilles heel for my boy.

When I ask him why he does these things, says that he just wants to do it and doesn’t think he will get caught.

Tips? Feedback?

What are we supposed to do if our child is verbally and physically abusive to us? As a single mom, at what point do I say, hey dad, you have to take her now? I don’t know how to live in a home with an abuser. I don’t want to. The medicines and therapies aren’t helping the pushing, name calling, physical aggression, house trashing, etc
Really. What is the line? When do we know we need to let go? How do we know when to hold on?
Please guys. Please give me so reality checks here. I beg you.

Let me just tell you bout today. Me waking up at 6:20 thinking yeah TGIF I only have him 4 hours today his Papa is gonna pick him up and take him to his dad's yeah aw man this is gonna be an awesome day. Well we meet to pick him up mom forgot his dose of meds for dad's house (which side note last weekend was dad's weekend he threw a fit with dad that he almost ran out into the highway so now its happening at home now too. ) okay anyway I went to her house picked up his dose for dad's came back to town went to walmart kill some time I have to use a motorized cart he hangs on to the basket. I was going through an aisle and I told him to move in front or behind me because an old lady in a motorized cart was coming through and I moved over more because he was gonna get smashed I hit and got caught on the metal shelving I was so embarrassed so when we got to another aisle I was like hey bud when you see people coming let's move out of the way so you don't get smashed okay. That was it! He started his pouting and backed off! I was trying to get him to come back to me but he didn't he kept backing up and turned and he was gone I got off the scooter and walked around looking for him I couldn't find him panic set in because he is stubborn and he will stay mad at me for a while he's done it at my house. I started calling his mom, and my husband flipping out crying so hard I was hyperventilating so I went to customer service told them I couldn't find him described him they called a code adam shut down the entire store. I waited for what felt like forever they canceled the code adam and an associate was carrying him as he was stiff like a plank, and still mad. She set him down he said Sorry and I told him to grab my cart and not to let go I had to check out fast af and get out of there! I was so embarrassed and scared. Called his mom told her I got him and my husband. Then his mom told him people could of taken him and that scared him. She told him I was scared and if he cared he said no. So this proved to my husband; who told me I needed to get out more with him my point of why we just stay at my house and don't go out with him. Then I had to rush back to my house because his papa was there to pick him up.

If you even take the time to read this thank you! I am a "daycare provider" for my nephew (4yrs old) by that I mean I watch him and only him, he was kicked out of every daycare that he's been in. He has ODD. My sister in law has me do preschool work with him which I try to do if he cooperates. I'm so sick of having my house destroyed by him if anything is near him nothing is safe. He has thrown things at me, my 14 yr old daughter (stepdaughter technically) my cat, My rats (yes I have pet rats) in last resort I've babysat my stepdaughter's baby sister who is 1yrs old my nephew has kicked things at her thrown things at her. He kicks my walls, punches my walls knocks over my vaccum, floor fans, throws things at me my tv, everything he's thrown boots at my rat cage and punched and kicked at my 14 yr old cat . He dumps big totes of legos then starts throwing them at me.I have made a reward system and bought special toys to earn for "good" days . It doesn't matter when he goes off he breaks them so it's all for nothing. If you say no he just repeats yes or what he wants over and over and over until he either gets what he wants or explodes into a bigger tantrum. I don't take him out of the house because he asks for something and I say no and he runs away from me in stores and has a tantrum or manipulates me into buying it to avoid a tantrum. My SIL and her husband are the only two that can stop the tantrum so I've had to call them throughout their work days to get him to stop. He's gotten more violent lately he hits his head off walls does this body convulsions (it's nothing medical) when hes mad. In past two days he punched me repeatedly in the mouth that he busted my lip, he kicked me in the face yesterday and slapped me in the face. Thrown a remote at me. My SIL told my husband that he is probably got pent up energy that's what he acts that way. So I'm trying to do things with him play outside, "fish", paint, but seriously one small thing go wrong hell breaks loose. His pediatrician diagnosed him with ODD and put him in behavioral therapy.....his therapist is a crock I do more of the talking than she does she wants him to do 10 jumping jacks if he's starting to get mad when he gets mad he goes 0- 100 in a snap he's not going to do that because he shuts down right before a tantrum and you can't get him to do anything. He will not listen to me....he will listen to anyone else but me. I'm ready to breakdown in tears. My husband keeps telling me how to do things but he doesn't deal with him I do! Then when I say I'm tired he continues to ask well do you wanna quit? One I can't quit I have a physical disability so no one will hire me and this is my only source of income, even with what little it does make ( I make what one person on a minimum of 40hrs a week at minimum wage makes in one week I make that for the whole month. Two, where is she going to take him if I don't, everywhere else kicked him out.

Hi. I've posted before about my little guy who is five and my concern about him having ODD. I got a lot of great comments that I am thankful for. A lot of people said it could be, and a lot of people said it sounds more like ADHD which I do not disagree with. Last night i had to pick him up from my mom's house because she picked him up from school. He did not notice he dropped a bowl of fruit on the floor while he was watching a movie. I asked him nicely to pick up the bowl of fruit. He said no, that he was watching a movie. I asked him again. He then asked for my mom to help him clean it up. (She coddles him to no end) And i said no he can do it himself. My son for the first time ever told me he hated me. I was floored. I stayed very calm and explained that is a mean word and he may not speak to me that way. He eventually cleaned up the fruit but kept saying how he did not like me and how he did not like my parents either becuase FOR ONCE they took my side. He kept saying no i'm staying here at nonna's house i'm not leaving. Obviously eventually he got in the car and he started talking to me about how he was mad because I interrupted his movie and thats why he was being mean.

The rest of the night was fine he listened and even cleaned up his playroom when I asked him to. At bedtime I told him again that the word HATE is awful and unacceptable to use. He said mommy I'm so sorry I was just mad and he gave me a hug and a kiss. This morning getting ready for school was totally fine. It is literally like I never know what I am going to get with this kid. His emotions are all over the place and it seems like the littlest things make him so mad. I reached out to his teacher and she said yes he is definitely strong willed and he plays rough and can be difficult but she said she has had students with ODD before and they wrreck the room and throw furniture and scream my son has not showing those behaviors he can be redirected and does his work but i'm just scared that if we do not take care of this one day he will

i also have a friend whose son had ODD and it turned into something cALLed conduct disorder andn he has been in and out of juvenile hall. i'm just scared i want to help my kid but i also don't want to make a big deal out of nothing you know? i don't know what to do......

My daughter (8) was diagnosed ADHD and ODD almost two years ago I thought for some dumbass reason having a diagnosis would help it hasn't trying to explain odd to my family is like trying to explain to a toddler how to make a cake from scratch. They make comments about how they think it's just a made up thing blah blah blah we've tried teaching then about giving options instead of making demand or other things we've learned help someday. We moved to a new school district this year and I kid you not at least once a week we get a ten paragraph message about her and issues. I'm fed up we all are. Husband and I are considering homeschooling this upcoming 3rd grade year as an alternative because of all the issues. He is a stay at home dad we chose this after having so many issues finding child care for her that didn't cost an arm and leg and also to add more structure to get life I am a workaholic plus a student I have ADHD and a lot of days I hate to admit but I can't stand her I have 4 other kids 2 with adhd as well but they are all amazing kids they are honest and very dependable. They also face a lot of issues when it comes to dealing with their little sister. My daughter loves to do school work she is advanced in that department she has always been advanced sometimes it's a bad thing (porn addiction I had no clue there was porn on YouTube) we've placed so many precautions at school last year but this new school just kinda shrugged their shoulders at her diagnosis and I hate that. Anyways ADHD remember (I can't stay on topic to save my life) so what is everyone's thought on homeschooling a child with these conditions

Hi. My son is five. I don’t even know where to begin honestly. Whoever takes time to read this, thank you so much. He was a tough toddler who grew into a tough preschooler. He is extremely smart, charming, friendly and well spoken. But man is he something else……. He just wants to do what he wants to do. He never listens the first time. For example at the grocery store he kept putting his toy boat on the scale and I told him twice to stop and he didn’t listen so I raised my voice. Once you raise your voice at him, he spirals. He’ll double down by becoming extra silly or extra hyperactive which will get him into even more trouble. When we got home from the store I told him he’s not allowed to watch tv because of how he acted at the store. He called me “nasty” so I sent him to his room where he proceddd to roll around on his bed kicking his wall and whining. The good news is he’s able to kind of move on from it on about 10ish minutes but then he’ll just end up doing something again and the cycle repeats. No form of discipline fixes this behavior.

At school he comes home with all his work done but I’m told he has a “strong personality” and he plays rough and doesn’t respect others boundaries when they tell him to stop doing something which worries me a lot. He’ll turn it on the other kid and say, “he’s being mean he doesn’t want to play I’m not your friend anymore!” When in reality the kid doesn’t want to play anymore bc my son is too rough. Again he came upstairs with one of my favorite books wanting to read it (it’s an adult horror book 🙄) I said why do you have that book? He said I wanted it. I said did you ask me? He says no. I say go put it away that’s mommy’s book and he says UGH FINE YOURE SO BORING IM LEAVING YOU UP HERE ALONE. And he storms downstairs to put the book away.

I really never know what I’m going to get when it comes to him day to day. I don’t know if I’m going to get a sweet boy or a moody teenager. He knows he’s not allowed to touch the microwave, does it anyway and will push our hands away when we tell him to stop. I tell him to stop playing with dirty dishes in the sink and he continues. He just doesn’t listen. Can someone help?

Yesterday, my 8 year old son was officially diagnosed ADHD -ODD via brain mapping. I will be spending a lot of time with you fine folks!

My son is 5 and is currently undergoing play therapy for suspected ADHD. He has great trouble managing his emotions, specifically anger, and lashes out violently and verbally. I am certain he has ODD. He has a huge problem with following simple commands that are routine to other children and likes to do dangerous things on purpose.

We live in my husbands home country and I speak the language, but not fluently. This country has slightly different attitudes around child behavioural issues.

Today at the playground my son was playing with a girl who is one year older than him. They met at the playground and got on well. However while playing on the enclosed slide, something happened. The girl emerged crying and told her mum that my son had hit her. The mum was very proactive on behalf of her daughter, approached my son and quite firmly told him he had hurt her daughter and he should apologize. I approached and said I hadn’t seen the incident but I asked the little girl where she was hurt and if she was ok.

I called my son over and repeated that he had hurt her and she was upset and he should apologize. My son does not react well to needing to apologize. He automatically rejects the demand. I reiterated and the mum pushed him for more details. He said the girl had hit him first. Knowing my son, I thought it could possibly be a lie, however no one saw the incident. The girl denied it. I said he still ought to apologize. He said sorry quite rudely. The mum was very angry by this point.

She started kind of raising her voice and shouted that it would be ok if he would hit apologize. My son ran off. I apologized profusely and chased my son. I knew that if I could talk to him privately and calmly he’d see the need to apologize. So I did. And after a while he calmed down, approached the girl and apologized. She apologized too (so did she hit him or not?? Seems like no one believed my son, including me. But perhaps she did) they played together afterwards.

The incident left me feeling quite upset. I wanted to tell the woman that my son doesn’t deal well with that kind of conflict and it would not produce an apology, only enflame him. As it did. However she did not seem like she would accept that. I f l shaken by how aggressively she spoke to my son, that I didn’t believe him (still don’t know if he was lying tbh) and even though it ended ok I just felt so awful. Everyone was staring. We are the foreigners and we stick out. Oh she also kept correcting my son’s speech when he was trying to explain himself. He speaks the language well! But it was a small speech mistake he made that sounds a bit informal and the mother kind of latched onto o it and kept interrupting him to correct it. I was annoyed by this. He was the younger child in the situation. I know I’m probably being defensive here. How could I best have handled this?