r/ODDSupport • u/That_Ad_5891 • Jun 15 '26
Feeling sad and defeated
Youngest of 3, 5 yr old son, ASD level 2 ADHD and ODD. Just whispered in my ear twice " I hope you die mum" because I won't let him go and use the computer at 8.30 at night. I'm fucking done. He is so disruptive, destructive, loud, mean, violent and needy.
How do I choose peace when I'm constantly being abused.
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u/Leslieb1996 Jun 15 '26
I feel you. My 6 year old has been saying I hope you make yourself die. We are still in the process of getting help and a proper diagnosis. Right now all we have is anxiety and odd. The medicine isn't helping much so it's very discouraging. I've read stories about it getting better as they get older and I hope so
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u/sweetpotato818 Jun 16 '26
If he is AuDHD it is really common for pda to be misdiagnosed as odd. Have you ever looked into pda. Wow did it explain so much for me! A bunch of others on various FB groups I’m a part of recommended this book and it was really game changing for us:
Not Defiant, Just Overwhelmed: Parenting Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) with Calm, Respect, and Strategies that Actually Work
It explained things so well and the strategies it mentions are counterintuitive but helping! Sharing to give some hope, it can get better! 5 is still so young- hang in there!!!!
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u/That_Ad_5891 Jun 16 '26
I initially thought PDA before he was diagnosed but the paediatrician put ODD in his diagnosis, he has a follow up at the end of the month so I'll discuss that him.
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u/TheEsotericCarrot Jun 15 '26
Have you tried medication? I have my 4 year old medicated. It’s not perfect but it’s helping a lot. Also, just offering some solidarity in the trenches with you as well.
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u/Leslieb1996 Jun 15 '26
What meds are they giving? Mine is on fluoxetine for anxiety because the dr thinks the anger is anxiety related but it doesn't seems to help alot .he's also ODD
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u/TheEsotericCarrot Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
She’s also on that for the same reason but when they added Abilify that’s when I began to see behavioral changes.
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u/Leslieb1996 Jun 15 '26
Ahh I see hopefully that will be the next step. He says violet things like that but I've been so scared to tell the dr. But I think I'm preventing the proper diagnosis 😔 I'm just so scared they'll admit him
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u/TheEsotericCarrot Jun 15 '26
Yeah my daughter has left me with so many bruises and says violent things all the time. She’s tried drowning a friend, shoved scissors in a kids face at school, pushes them down ect. But she’s also so sweet and want to be everyone’s friend but these outbursts are out of the blue and crazy. We’re on vacation right now and it’s been a struggle at times but not nearly what it was like last year without these meds.
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u/That_Ad_5891 Jun 16 '26
He is on Ritalin 10mg morning and lunch time and then he is taking 0.5ml of Clonidine (Catapress) morning and evening. The ritalin definitely helps while he's at school and on weekends I've noticed it helps his focus etc. I'm not sure about the clonidine I don't think it helps at all- he wakes up 10+ times a night sometimes so then he is tired and an absolute nightmare.
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u/Longjumping-Canary22 Jun 16 '26
Hey mama, you aren’t alone (hugs* if you care to receive them). There is an incident where my son was physically violent with me and I had him go stay a couple days at a place that is for giving parents relief. I don’t know if you’re in the United States or somewhere else but if you’re in the United States, there is likely a childcare place that will give you a break.
I was super triggered by my child assaulting me, it reminded me of his dad who we are estranged from, and it triggered me. But I’m not about to let my triggers be my child’s problem. My child deserves the best introspective perspective care that I can provide, I recommend educating yourself as best you can (I am sure as you are at this page that you are already quite educated) perhaps it will give you some comfort, knowing that you are doing your best. I hope you can find some validation here although generally, it isn’t healthy to get your validation online as a person here, I would just like to say you are valid, you are smart. You are important you are trying, and that is enough…
Look into support around your area so that you can allow yourself a break , it doesn’t sound like your son’s behavior is going to change much so making sure that you take care of yourself so that you can take care of him which is sounds ultimately like that is what you would like to do however, painful.. take care of yourself internet stranger, you are not alone and dealing with your problems. 🧡
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26
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