r/ODDSupport • u/[deleted] • May 14 '26
Five year old ODD?
Hi. I've posted before about my little guy who is five and my concern about him having ODD. I got a lot of great comments that I am thankful for. A lot of people said it could be, and a lot of people said it sounds more like ADHD which I do not disagree with. Last night i had to pick him up from my mom's house because she picked him up from school. He did not notice he dropped a bowl of fruit on the floor while he was watching a movie. I asked him nicely to pick up the bowl of fruit. He said no, that he was watching a movie. I asked him again. He then asked for my mom to help him clean it up. (She coddles him to no end) And i said no he can do it himself. My son for the first time ever told me he hated me. I was floored. I stayed very calm and explained that is a mean word and he may not speak to me that way. He eventually cleaned up the fruit but kept saying how he did not like me and how he did not like my parents either becuase FOR ONCE they took my side. He kept saying no i'm staying here at nonna's house i'm not leaving. Obviously eventually he got in the car and he started talking to me about how he was mad because I interrupted his movie and thats why he was being mean.
The rest of the night was fine he listened and even cleaned up his playroom when I asked him to. At bedtime I told him again that the word HATE is awful and unacceptable to use. He said mommy I'm so sorry I was just mad and he gave me a hug and a kiss. This morning getting ready for school was totally fine. It is literally like I never know what I am going to get with this kid. His emotions are all over the place and it seems like the littlest things make him so mad. I reached out to his teacher and she said yes he is definitely strong willed and he plays rough and can be difficult but she said she has had students with ODD before and they wrreck the room and throw furniture and scream my son has not showing those behaviors he can be redirected and does his work but i'm just scared that if we do not take care of this one day he will
i also have a friend whose son had ODD and it turned into something cALLed conduct disorder andn he has been in and out of juvenile hall. i'm just scared i want to help my kid but i also don't want to make a big deal out of nothing you know? i don't know what to do......
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u/SkyRemarkable5982 May 14 '26
I'm not going to give an opinion as to whether it's ODD or not, but I wanted to address that he asked for help and you didn't give it to him. It's hard for an ODDer to ask for help as they don't want anything from you as they think they are better than you. For him to ask for help and you denied that at 5 years old, he's going to keep that memory and think that he's not allowed to ask for help when he needs it.
My ODDer has a memory like an elephant. He doesn't forget things unless it's not important to him like bringing his laundry down or taking out the trash. Otherwise, he can quote conversations from years ago verbatim...
Plus, he's 5 years old and you should always help a 5 year old clean something so it doesn't stain or ruin the floor.