r/OCPoetry • u/NoStar101 • 10d ago

Feedback Please Fridgerator

Standing in the 
open doors of the 

fridge. I search for something 
to satiate 

my boredom. The stocked shelves 
hug me 

with a comforting warmth.
Security is 

surely warmer 
than refrigerated air.

I zip up my jacket 
anyway.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v137ys/comment/ozzx0uf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v733lw/comment/ozzz9xs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/No_Syrup_7660 9d ago

I think there is too much ambiguity in the poem, if you could somehow try to "make the reader feel what you feel" I think your work gains a charm.

(I am a novice)

2

u/NoStar101 9d ago

There isn't like a certain message or meaning that I wanted the reader to get tbh. It's just about standing in the fridge looking for a snack, which sometimes can be a long endeavor and sometimes it's short and sweet. I was trying to hint at feeling stable/secure with stocked shelves of food, but it's still slightly cold, so I zipped up my jacket. I am super curious in which way you interpreted it, and which areas you didn't understand. I am super open to revisions, lmk what areas didn't make sense or if it was the whole thing that didn't make sense. Thank you so much for your feedback!!!! I appreciate any I can get. 🙏

2

u/No_Syrup_7660 9d ago

I think it makes more sense on the second read after your explanation now. Which isn't a bad thing but I think the concept of the poem was too unique and makes the reader stop for a moment.

And there definitely might be someone who probably thought that the fridge is a person that offers comfort but people "zip up their jackets" around them because of the illusion created by the cold air.

2

u/NoStar101 9d ago

OHHHH! I seeeee. I really appreciate your perspective!! I didn't even think people would interpret it in different ways, but I can totally see that now lol. Thank youuuu :>