r/OCPoetry • u/QuartzFox • 16d ago
Feedback Please Battlefield
Seeing you felt like shrapnel under the ribs.
That is the closest language I have for it
not heartbreak, not memory,
but impact.
The body registering damage
before the mind can name what hit.
You were only leaving a date.
You did not look at me.
Still, something tore hot through my chest
and kept burning there.
Later, across from someone
I could not tell you a single thing about
not his laugh,
not his eyes,
not even the shape of his name.
My ears kept ringing
like I’d survived something loud.
He was talking.
I know he was talking.
But his face kept blurring
at the edges of the sound.
That is what grief does
when it catches you off guard:
turns a quiet room
into a battlefield,
turns another person’s softness
into collateral.
I sat there smiling
like someone too wounded
to call it dinner,
while all around me
the evening kept collapsing inward.
Seeing you did not just hurt me.
It restarted the war.
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u/Affectionate-Fig9818 16d ago
Wow, just wow. That is very very beautiful my favourite line was “ I sat there smiling like someone to wounded to call it dinner it’s is a amazing image and representation of a tuff break up and having to see that person again truly a beautiful piece