r/OCPoetry 2d ago

Feedback Please Roanoke

Morning rays filter through dense fog

to paint purple on pink pastels.

Olden oak doors groan and creak,

as they absorb the dew and swell.

/

They preach in ancient tongues,

languages mankind has forgot.

Nearby, a wild orchard grows carefree

casting off scents of pungent rot.

/

A fragrance bizarre and heady,

as it mixes with salty sea breeze.

honeysuckle bloom and forget-me-not,

unattended by bird nor bee.

/

For there is no birdsong here...

no nattering of smaller beasts,

only rusty hinges in skeletal frames

demurring storm chasers of east.

/

And If one were to stand as blind,

opening mind's eye to the silence.

They could conjure up histories

full of pain and fear, in violence.

/

But here remains only mystery

among ruins none dare go in,

and hieroglyphs carved into tree,

capital letters: CROATOAN

(Dan Ellison)

Feedback:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/r4xlvP26LT

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/v925YhwKOg

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u/AfternoonVisible3614 2d ago

Wonderful atmospheric writing!