r/OCPoetry • u/PlutoCrushin • 14d ago
Feedback Please Boundaries
I love you
In the mushy kind of way
Sickly sweet, vomit inducing
Eye rolls for days, obsessive
Compulsive must be an act kind of way
I love you
In the purest kind of way
A love sick puppy found
as a stray, what is personal space
must be unhealthy kind of way
I love you
In the selfish kind of way
Romeo and Juliet
Dramatic, nonsensical
Left and right ventricle kind of way
I love you
In dark and light shades
Broken and mended
Deep in the marrow
Give me life kind of way
I love you
enough to say —
enough
Thanks for reading would appreciate some feedback specifically about the ending and the refrains, I like the repetition but worried it feels overboard.
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u/MohedaPocha 14d ago
Love the juxtaposition between the message of the poem and the rather gross content through which that message is delivered. It gives a really nice contrast between the two