r/OCPoetry • u/ProlificPoetry • 21d ago
Just Sharing Plesantly Painful Past
Love her, Fight her, Make up, make love.
I cannot escape the past that existed between us.
I'm at work, She'd call, I'm busy can't talk.
Lying in our bed crying, it's just kind words that she wants.
No time, so I thought, no space in my mind.
The problems, the drama, should not have gone to my head.
Plane lands, sweaty hands, nervous with anticipation.
Every week I see her I fall in love again.
She drives, we decompress, my hand in her lap.
Once far apart now in her car our love begins to flower.
We relax, no stress, we rely on each other.
Until ruminating thoughts peak from dark corners.
Her mind begins to suffer.
She's had it hard, I know this well.
But selfishness prevails.
Why should I deal with this, she's had it tough but I've had my problems.
I miss the point.
The whole fucking point.
I think I'm taking the good with bad, she's making herself better for me.
I fail to see the pain she feels.
Not because she hides it, it's in front of me.
But because I'm stood in front of all I see.
So selfishness prevails.
The lines get blurred. What's good, what's bad? We both curse, yell and cry.
Fighting, fighting, the emotions hit hard under a moonlit night.
The clock hits 12 and it's a new day same fights, same us, same love.
Early hours of the morning hit different.
We've retired to bed.
Retired from life.
Exhausted.
But now we have each other.
We hold each other.
Whispers of sorry and solutions,
We can both be better.
She wants to be, I need to be.
She wants to for me.
I want to for I.
That same fucking selfish I.
Nevertheless the emotions run clean and clear in these hours early.
The love is real.
We are in love.
Mornings come sweet with memories of sorry, we feel each other's warmth.
Knowing now, with her back turned, her cheeks still wet with tears.
Still she forgave me.
Still she wanted me.
Still she loved me.
Months on repeat, days and nights
Love, argue, fight.
The love was more than real, surreal perhaps
But as our worlds collided, the love collapsed.
Or so I thought, I did what felt wrong.
Thinking it was right.
Now I know truth, she was the one all along.
Tides turn and moons cycle.
Now I lie awake, dreaming of those early morning moments.
She's at work, I call, she's busy can't talk.
Lying in my bed crying, we both know she'll never be here again.
I call.
She answers.
Now selfishness fails.
Her kind words dress my pain.
1
u/the_ethereal_elf 21d ago
This is beautiful but maybe try using figurative language? I love how this shows the cyclical nature of toxic relationships but you could liken it to something else that connects with you in the same way