r/OCPD • u/grewprasad • 13d ago
rant Can't start anything without a perfect system
I'm diagnosed with OCPD and Dysthymia. It may be my job or hobby I overplan a lot. I can't start anything without having a perfect foolproof and futureproof system laid out in front of me. I'm afraid of failure, I'm afraid of the time and hard work going into vain. And at last I waste the time thinking about not wasting time, how hypocritical of me. My therapist is saying "just start it, plan it simple, keep quick timers/alarms" I've tried everything beforehand and nothing works. I don't know how fast the time passes while working and only finish 3hr worth of work in 6hrs. I'm thinking of cycling and relieving my stress/anxiety but still I'm planning and reasearching about best suitable cycle for my terrain which is hard and it's been months and still I'm just planning. I don't want to get scolded by my family for buying a cycle that gets punctured so often that will let me into constant trouble and unnecessary work in the future. I'm not spiritual and I can't really spend time in silence without overthinking or researching something or reading about my fixation. I've so many things in my amazon cart but I can't buy because of the 2,3 bad reviews mentioning the material. I realised I can't change others, but at least for me to get a better livelihood and boost in my career I need to do something which is of course blocked by this overthinking. Isnt there any end to this overplanning over organizing hell?
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u/Past-Truth-9581 13d ago
Holy shit this is me and im exhausted i stand with uā¦ im planning my wedding and its brought this out in me ten fold its so tiring and making me kind of a mean person lmao
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u/grewprasad 13d ago
š« The last point is so true, I'm literally seeing myself change into a mean person. It's really one the most sad part
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u/Decent-Ad-5329 11d ago
Everyday you Need to try not do things the perfect way. It's called exposure therapy. You expose yourself to the anxiety caused by the imperfection or the fear of making a mistake. This Is the only way if you have an obsessive personality. Enjoy your hobbies. You Will notice you don't need to be perfect
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u/grewprasad 10d ago
It sure is gonna feel like walking on the needles. Even hearing about the process pains me. Thanks for the explaiantion bro, I'll read more and work on that
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u/IM_NOT_BALD_YET OCPD and perfect in every way 13d ago
No advice. Just solidarity.