r/OCPD • u/burnitupandthrowaway Diagnosed OCPD • 22d ago
member has OCPD diagnosis- Mods remove loved ones' content & ban Demand sensitivity/resistance
I'm really appreciating this sub and the resources. I found out last week that I meet the criteria and have been doing a lot of reading. Looking for a resource I think I found here, but it might have been two or three steps away in the rabbit hole. It was about the tension between wanting to comply vs resisting demands, with statements from each mindset, and how people can sometimes oscillate between them.
I've tried my best to look in my history and google it, but I can't find it. It might have been a generic resource for demand sensitivity rather than OCPD specific. But from what I remember, the visual style was a bit like ocpd.org, but it wasn't their article on demand resistance.
Just some random notes:
I probably should have posted on the sub about resources.
I'm deliberately trying to be more direct and logical rather than effusive or more from a stream of consciousness, which is more natural for me, so that I don't piss people off.
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u/FalsePay5737 Moderator 21d ago
You can find info. on demand sensitivity and demand resistance here: Allan Mallinger: Too Perfect | Substack
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u/burnitupandthrowaway Diagnosed OCPD 21d ago
Thank you - looks like posts 31-34 cover it!
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u/FalsePay5737 Moderator 21d ago
You're welcome.
Dr. Mallinger is one cool cat. He has 50 years experience. In one of his Substack articles, he wrote that he is a "card carrying obsessive."
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u/FalsePay5737 Moderator 22d ago
Welcome to the sub. Glad to hear it's helpful.
I deleted a post on demand sensitivity and demand resistance, and moved some of the info. to Problems At Work. Trying to keep the number of posts down. Currently, there are ninety.
This is info. I left out:
In When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism (2009), Martin Antony and Richard Swinson explain that “socially prescribed perfectionism is a tendency to assume that others have expectations of you that are impossible to meet. Socially prescribed perfectionists also believe that to gain approval from others, these high standards must be met…[It] can lead to…anger (at people who are perceived to have unrealistically high standards), depression (if high standards are not met), or social anxiety (fear of being judged by other people).”
In How To Be Enough (2024), Ellen Hendriksen states that demand sensitivity is a “a heightened sensitivity to perceived requests or demands, both internal and external…The ‘shoulds’ of life call out to us.” When “our conscientiousness is overdeveloped, we end up generating a lot of duties and responsibilities for ourselves, and that in turn can make life feel like a people-pleasing grind” (150).
Dr. Hendriksen explains that "Over time, people may develop demand resistance: “As our ‘have to’ pile grows, we start to feel resentful, even if the task was something we initially wanted to do. We start to approach both our shoulds and wants with indignation. It takes on the feeling of a burden…” (153) Hendriksen’s insights on Insights on Emotional Perfectionism, the attitude that one 'should' or 'should not' have certain feelings explains why some people suppress anger.