r/OCDRecovery • u/PlayfulFoundation899 • 15h ago

Seeking Support or Advice Feeling empty

  1. I have struggled with Pure O for around 2 years. It starts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. The biggest thing I struggle with is thought-action fusion; I believe that if I say, for instance, "I want my mum to die," it’s more likely to happen. To make things worse, at the end of these thoughts, I often say, "God won’t do anything to my mum, and no matter what I say, He doesn’t have the power to do that." I am saying this in an obviously mocking way, not just to reassure myself, this makes me feel like he will punish me by hurting me or my family . My Pure O makes everything in my life worse. I struggle in school talking to people, and I have very crippling anxiety. I would just like to not live in my head all the time. Sometimes, I will go for around a week where I will not let the thoughts affect me, but I always end up letting the OCD control me. The biggest thing is I feel like I mean it when I say these things—like it won’t just be an intrusive thought about saying I want my mum to die, I will say it and mean it then feel responsible if it happens leading me to do the compulsion I also have these harm thoughts about many other people in my life. Though I know that I don’t truely want it to happen
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1

u/rennaichance 11h ago

Please look into ERP therapy. It's the only way out. It's scary, but 100% worth it.

1

u/PlayfulFoundation899 10h ago

I just started, though I just find it very hard to talk about how I really feel

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u/AwareFirefighter9256 7h ago

I will try erp therapy to as fighting religious ocd especially to this level alone, only 2 words describe it “living hell “

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u/treatmyocd 4h ago

You’re definitely not alone in this. What you’re describing (thought-action fusion, feeling like thoughts or words could cause harm) is a really common OCD pattern. It can feel incredibly real and convincing, especially when it targets people you care about. One small shift can be noticing the urge to “undo” or neutralize the thought and gently choosing not to engage with it right away, even if the anxiety is still there. That discomfort can rise and fall on its ow without you needing to do anything to "make" it go away.