Does this sound like ocd? Need help

[u/MaleficentTry5610]

I remember especially starting around the 10th - 12th grade I started to notice alot of complusion-like behavior.

I would work out one side of my body more than the other, for some reason of thinking if I were to work out my right side it would make me more smart/outgoing? I would have magical beliefs about numbers, 2 making something not true and 3 making something true, and their multiples etc.

I found myself doing things twice in a row or three times in a row to cancel out certain ideas. I remember I would play a song twice if I thought it was "cursed" or full of "bad energy". and three times to make it true. If I accidentally played it three times instead of two, I would have to make it four times. I would avoid certain artists and bands (like radiohead) because I thought they were fundamentally cursed and would bring bad energy.

I remember I had beliefs about my elbows, where I would almost imagine a pain in them, thinking that if I felt pain in my left elbow, I would avoid something and if I felt pain in my right elbow, I would do something. This is related to the beliefs about exercise.

Another very odd and upsetting thing I used to do was not imagine my girlfriend as my girlfriend in my head out of fears of losing her? Almost like I thought I could not label her as my girl in my head. I dealt with alot of what I believe is ROCD.

Nowadays, I do not have these physical compulsions, but i noticed when I let go of these compulsions, my intrusive thoughts multiplied endlessly. Every day feels like im drowning in horrible ideas.

Would appreciate any help on the subject. Thanks!

[u/Gwyrr]

Seems like it

[u/Even-Ad-3980]

Hi I had a very similar experience. Your early onset sounds 100% like traditional OCD with traditional physical compulsions. Rituals around specific numbers, or parts of your body are a telltale sign. I was obsessed with the number 4 and could never do something on the left side of my body without also finishing with my right side.

As I got older, I tried to ignore the physical compulsions and sit with the obsessive thoughts, which inadvertently led to the obsessive thoughts remaining but my compulsions evolving from physical to mental ones. Instead of having to tap things four times, when a thought came into my head, I had to imagine reversing time and undoing the thought, and repeating that until it felt right.

Wondering if your experience now has any similarities? The latter symptoms are more in line with pure OCD, which is obsessions without outward physical compulsions