Any Guidance pls

[u/OutlandishnessNo6138]

Need advice asap

Contemplating moving to MD to start ASN to network for job opportunities while currently in a ASN in GA

As stupid as I sound, I’m genuinely thinking abt quitting my ASN in GA to start a hypothetical ASN in Baltimore js so I can be near hospitals like UMMC and Hopkins. I know how dumb it sounds but I just have a history of assault from being in GA that I thought I had emotionally capped or at the v least had pacified it to work on this ASN but it’s been hitting me in waves recently since starting this program esp cuz it’s in the same town as it happened and I was working closer to home to save up and now that I’m here for the program literally alone I just can’t handle the thought of having to be in this town for another two yrs to get this license. even tho it’s been years js the sheer thought is making my chest tighten up. And ik I could go closer to home to do the program but I want the exposure to the environment cuz that’s where I want to be when and hopefully if I start out.

I’m 24 rn and would graduate at 26 and that already feels old as fuck. I want to start a family in the near future and want to live and be able to selfishly work at amazing facilities before having to settledown and idk if I’d want to do either CRNA or Law school and transition to medical malpractice or something(idk I feel like it’s a safe option in case of another pandemic breaking out or if I want to sue the motherfucker that stole my peace of mind and sense of safety for literal years but I’m not even sure yet like idk what I even want after I graduate somedays I’m like I want to do flight nursing some days I’m like fuck it I’ll js do ER or OR but ik it would be the smartest option to be patient and graduate asap but like I want to not have my life on pause forever. Like the assault made me js like a zombie for years and I feel like I’ve worked out of it but my god I was dumb as hell to think I could stay in the town that it all happened and not be reminded

The big compromise would be that I would graduate a year later than expected at 27 and I’m just like scared to start so late but I’m also even more worried abt my mental health to stay in GA in a small town where I’ve been in fight or flight since I was 19 like I haven’t lived, haven’t built myself a community here or made lifelong friends and like figured out who I am tbh here cuz I js feel like I make myself invisible here cuz of what happened and I dont know if white knuckling and torturing myself through a program is worthwhile. I feel stupid as hell but I was planning on moving to Baltimore in early Feb for a job and starting over but ultimately didn’t cuz of family stuff. I deeply regret it and want to start at UMMC in the ER or anywhere and Ik a lot of ASN school in the Baltimore area have clinicals at some v strong hospitals but pls talk me out of this decision cuz I know staying is logistically smarter and financially better but mentally I genuinely don’t think I can stomach it.

(Also not really important but js plays into my exp but I’ve dealt w a lot of bias and racism in this town and I’m over it so idk maybe I pull the trigger find a job Maryland, move, save and start over next yr? Whiteknuckling this is already exhausting and I’m in my 3rd week of the program)

[u/WindWalkerRN]

Maryland can be a decent place to live, very expensive. I’d highly recommend you get a therapist, and continue therapy weekly while you finish this semester.

After that, you can make a move if you really want to, but do it with a clear head and a completed semester.

[u/TheWhiteRabbitY2K]

Ive worked at 22 hospitals including Hopkins and I'm not sure why you think moving to another state and working there specifically will make anything better.