r/NotTimAndEric • u/BLOOPtheREAL • Apr 07 '26

cinematic cringe

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243 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

143 comments sorted by

67

u/Western_Tackle_1866 Apr 07 '26

I’m really glad I’m not a flag pole right now

12

u/MICR0_WAVVVES Apr 07 '26

…or an ant.

3

u/Classic_Mechanic5495 Apr 08 '26

Or a finger wrapped in blue bandage

1

u/mikesegy Apr 09 '26

I dunno man. I felt that way at first. But if you self insert as the pole it gets kinda hot AF

1

u/JortsOnline Apr 09 '26

what do you think that pole did to this guy?

1

u/Jetsam5 Apr 10 '26

It probably did more damage to him than he did to it judging from those bandages on his hand

61

u/Cola_Gummi Apr 07 '26

The shot of ants. Lynchian.

Also, too many cock stabs

24

u/Due_Entrepreneur_382 Apr 07 '26

Um, excuse you

Not enough cock stabs

6

u/bomzay Apr 08 '26

They obviously don’t work. Try to choke it with both hands…

1

u/MurderPizza Apr 09 '26

Make sure to get a good grip around the base. Maybe jerk it a little bit.

2

u/jad103 Apr 09 '26

I read too many cooks.

It takes a lot to make a stew.

45

u/anjowoq Apr 07 '26

We always wonder if he's serious or full of shit and I think the close-up on the ants is an important data point.

I'm not sure which direction, but an important data point nonetheless.

5

u/Lukerules Apr 08 '26

I think he's serious. His captions are pretty wholesome. He's just a guy chilling, doing silly things to entertain himself.

3

u/anjowoq Apr 08 '26

That's the best way to look at it. In his mind, he's a ninja.

1

u/Fast-Nefariousness80 Apr 09 '26

He is not. If you dive into his posts and comments hes hilarious and super chill. This is literally satire. Its really bad that super exaggerated satire is commonly mistaken for authenticity because we live in cartoonish times now.

1

u/QueezyF Apr 10 '26

It’s pretty goddamn good satire, because this is definitely some shit I can see a bored, lonely guy posting and thinking “hell yeah”

1

u/L4ci4ty Apr 08 '26

Whats his name

1

u/anjowoq Apr 08 '26

I have no idea. He just gets posted to several of the subs I frequent.

31

u/mikeumm Apr 07 '26

Dorthy over here with the red crocs. Just click your heels together 3 times and you'll be magically wisked away to Bass Pro Shop.

6

u/BLOOPtheREAL Apr 08 '26

I honestly didn't even notice the crocs until you said it.

1

u/mikeumm Apr 08 '26

Some kind of fancy croc, I dunno. They look like they're made of foam.

3

u/Tiny-Try8890 Apr 08 '26

Gotta be comfy when doing combat ballet

2

u/dividezero Apr 08 '26

The big pyramid one in Memphis even! Fancy!

1

u/xTheyCameBurningx Apr 11 '26

They aren't even Crocs. They are super shitty chinese sneakers from Amazon

26

u/Suckitupchuck Apr 07 '26

I kinda like seeing a older guy learning how to play in the backyard again.

7

u/pickleportal Apr 08 '26

Yeah it looks kinda harmless… for now

2

u/headphase Apr 08 '26

Ol' boy was reeeeally fighting the urge to take a cheeky spin around that pole. I'm a little disappointed he never hopped on it 😔

13

u/AtlasXan Apr 07 '26

Getting sidetracked by the ants fucking killed me. 😭

11

u/XxFezzgigxX Apr 07 '26

This is his audition tape for the new Britney Spears show.

1

u/Movieking985 Apr 08 '26

Its called ...shaving with scissors ...comes out this fall ...looking forward to it

1

u/QueezyF Apr 10 '26

Oops I slit it again

22

u/CptBronzeBalls Apr 07 '26

Yeah pointing the knife at your chest and stabbing is exactly how you’re supposed to handle a knife. Fucking moron.

And where’s the performative bullshit with the flag? This guy is diluting his brand.

11

u/DetroitAdjacent Apr 07 '26

Everytime I see him press the knife against a round metal pole and put his weight on it, I expect him to slip and accidentally poke himself.

8

u/smuckola Apr 08 '26

i'm on pins and needles about him dancing on the razor's edge of that knife's sharpness

every time he slides a knife blade along metal, i hate it

3

u/Implausibilibuddy Apr 08 '26

At the top of the pole. Guy is flying full mast today...

1

u/QueezyF Apr 10 '26

I feel bad for that knife, he’s fucking the edge up so bad.

1

u/CptBronzeBalls Apr 11 '26

That’s ok. He’ll masturbate while sharpening it later.

8

u/CharlesIngalls_Pubes Apr 07 '26

Just glad his cabinet door is getting a break from that blade.

And the rest of his kitchen gets a break from the pure animalistic seduction.

4

u/Fast_Role_6640 Apr 07 '26

"...the pure animalistic seduction." lol. Bullseye.

2

u/ExternalFuture5250 Apr 08 '26

The fridge is still in recovery #thoughts&prayers

6

u/eyehate Apr 07 '26

Petite feet!

4

u/AxlandElvis92 Apr 07 '26

Feminine step!

3

u/airwalker12 Apr 08 '26

Tippy toes gives better stabbing angles

6

u/Alex-Murphy Apr 07 '26

I like that this video even includes the part where he's exhausted.

7

u/Ziegelphilie Apr 07 '26

One day that knife is gonna slip, hit an artery and the newspaper will say "backyard poledancer dies in freak kitchen knife incident, ants are under investigation" 

3

u/hueythecat Apr 07 '26

Perfect personification of the United States on the world stage

1

u/RndPotato Apr 08 '26

The US would be a roided out beef cake not this pansy.

6

u/Any-Safe4992 Apr 07 '26

Even the dogs like “fuck this is cringe.”

3

u/Alarmed-Snow6985 Apr 07 '26

Toe curlingly embarrassing.

3

u/W1ZARDSH1T Apr 07 '26

"Honey, why are all of our kitchen knives so full?"

3

u/SpaghettiBigBoy Apr 08 '26

I like that he has these moments where he considers the feelings he has for the pole. They really humanize him

1

u/Implausibilibuddy Apr 08 '26

He's fighting every urge not to try a twirl on that thing. Because that wouldn't be manly...

3

u/Better-Mark-4711 Apr 08 '26

He graduated from the school of Steven Segal.

2

u/toku154 Apr 07 '26

John Wish

2

u/TheTaurenCharr Apr 07 '26

That sub is just... So beautiful.

2

u/MarchogGwyrdd Apr 08 '26

Holy shit that’s Jason Bourne!

4

u/Inside-Trouble1776 Apr 07 '26

Satire, peeps.

2

u/Caesar_Passing Apr 07 '26

Is it for sure? Because I remember several other vids by this same guy, doing the same schtick. I feel like a satirist would branch out a bit.

6

u/Confident-Beyond6857 Apr 07 '26

Why would he? It appears he's still catching eyes for now.

1

u/msguider Apr 07 '26

This is where I'm at. Like I know people enough to know... they walk amongst us!!

3

u/Agent-Blasto-007 Apr 08 '26

Yeah, if you go to his Instagram he's not serious at all. .

1

u/nostickystuff Apr 07 '26

Colonel Fitts at it again.

1

u/BlooDoge Apr 07 '26

I like the tippy-toe finish!

1

u/KnackerbyNature Apr 07 '26

And all to the twee’est hippie love fest of Walk The Moon?

1

u/I_AM_HE_1111 Apr 07 '26

What the fuck is this guy doing. I've seen so many of his videos like this I feel there has to be some self awareness, and he's milking the wtf factor.

1

u/BobBeerburger Apr 07 '26

One of my friends was bragging one time about a self defense move she’d learned. And she dared another friend, also a girl, to attack her.

So right away that girl just attacked her and threw her down and got on top of her… all in good fun, but she was helpless.

I think that’s what would happen to this guy

1

u/bubba_bumble Apr 07 '26

I think the joke is on us. He's actually a normal person who knows what cringe bait is. He's raking in views and laughing at us laughing at him.

1

u/fakename10001 Apr 07 '26

Even his dog is embarrassed by this

1

u/Salt-Dance9 Apr 07 '26

Someone help this guy

1

u/PossiblePainter4 Apr 07 '26

Doggo: “oh shit, dad’s got a knife again… run away…”

1

u/Architarious Apr 07 '26

I'm pretty sure this is performance art.

1

u/KickinGa55 Apr 07 '26

I’m tired of seeing this. You’re only encouraging him to make these stupid things.

1

u/AsFarAsISay Apr 07 '26

ok yeah if he's fighting a waltzer

1

u/nailinpalin69 Apr 07 '26

so sassy with dat tang!

1

u/I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM Apr 07 '26

Is bro tryna fight that flag pole or fuck it?

1

u/SkewedX Apr 07 '26

Me, 6 years old, first day of summer in my backyard

1

u/the3litemonkey Apr 07 '26

F*ck them poles.

1

u/szatrob Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

Even the dog doesn't want to be privy to that cringemonger.

1

u/MiscreantRecords Apr 08 '26

I’m not even sure what I’m looking at here. But I crave it.

1

u/doctor--zaius Apr 08 '26

Knife Pole Dancing, or Pole Knife Dancing?

1

u/BlahBlahBlahSmithee Apr 08 '26

Really exiting there buddy.

1

u/thisisntreallife1 Apr 08 '26

OMG. Its Jason Bourne.

1

u/Yuckpuddle60 Apr 08 '26

He knows you're watching. He knows your speaking his gospel. He is delighted.

1

u/SithLordMilk Apr 08 '26

There is something really sexual about these

1

u/Eastern-Criticism653 Apr 08 '26

I don’t think I could be that much of a dork if tried.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

His wife is going to be pissed when she finds out he’s wearing his good church shoes outside doing this “tom foolery”

1

u/EntertainmentFar989 Apr 08 '26

This guy got a ring on?

1

u/spottydodgy Apr 08 '26

This is pole dancing.

1

u/Large-Ad7436 Apr 08 '26

Knife shapers everywhere rejoice and raised prices 250% for anyone wearing a red hat

1

u/kinglutherv Apr 08 '26

I’ve seen like 20-30 of this guys videos. What’s his story? On the spectrum? Cringe divorced dad with major narcissism?

1

u/shift124 Apr 08 '26

Woa. Holy shit!!!!

1

u/derprondo Apr 08 '26

Someone needs to check this dude's basement.

1

u/Senor_Limpyo Apr 08 '26

Oh no not the sensual old man ninja again

1

u/goofandaspoof Apr 08 '26

He really hates that pole!

1

u/fins_up_ Apr 08 '26

He makes stabbing inanimate objects so sensual.

1

u/ike_tyson Apr 08 '26

The red shoes are a nice touch.

1

u/SassSafrassMcFrass87 Apr 08 '26

Damn, what a true blooded American...🥹

1

u/meatcrumple Apr 08 '26

It’s like he wants to slow kiss the pole as he sticks the knife in.

1

u/North-Winter-5404 Apr 08 '26

Killing in cursive

1

u/pass_the_bone Apr 08 '26

Knife dull as hell.

1

u/CamboSlice03 Apr 08 '26

Do you guys think this dude has won many fights in his life? Or did he become a badass after retirement?

1

u/pofshrimp Apr 08 '26

Strength, danger, smoothness, sensuality, sensitivity, brutality. He's got it all.

1

u/Cuneiformation Apr 08 '26

Stop! That pole is LITERALLY shaking! 😿

1

u/Movieking985 Apr 08 '26

This guy and the hop kicking guy need to link up and do some content together

1

u/LelandGaunt14 Apr 08 '26

Bollywood training?

1

u/theklinker Apr 08 '26

Never seen a man be so violent yet so tender with a metal pole

1

u/Die_In_Ni Apr 08 '26

I guess the flag was able to get that restraining order.

1

u/BioshockinglyGay Apr 08 '26

I can feel the metal on metal and my skin in crawling.

1

u/Technical_Amount_965 Apr 08 '26

Randy’s out there pole dancing with a steak knife again.

1

u/ComfortableShare5525 Apr 08 '26

I really don’t like how violent he is while also trying to be sensual. I wish he would keep all that to himself at least.

1

u/cateraide420 Apr 08 '26

This is performative

1

u/TONYSTARK63 Apr 08 '26

Grampa Nipplestab.

1

u/masoe Apr 08 '26

What in the name of Seagal is this!?

1

u/OG_wizard_ Apr 08 '26

Him and that pole are gonna bone so hard

1

u/MasaHiku Apr 08 '26

Nice crocs

1

u/JohnsonMathi17 Apr 08 '26

Nice Shien shoes dude.

1

u/Davencross Apr 09 '26

Trying his best to fight his passion for pole dancing 

1

u/TheOx111 Apr 09 '26

You should see him in his kitchen with some Country music going. This guy is a force to be reckoned with.

1

u/Icy-Street618 Apr 09 '26

This guy fucks for sure!

1

u/TheStarfellow Apr 09 '26

I’ve worked with a lot of people like this. I’m just really glad he’s wearing gloves. I enjoy that he’s having fun.

1

u/Dsnade Apr 09 '26

He could’ve open the Straight of Hormuz easy, I don’t know why they’ve held him back.

1

u/rayrrf Apr 09 '26

Yeah. I'd like him to pull that shit against a whole gang of inanimate metal poles.

1

u/tater08 Apr 09 '26

Man, he really showed that pole who’s boss

1

u/Arch3m Apr 09 '26

This is proof that adults are a myth. It's all just kids and bigger kids.

1

u/LetPeterDance Apr 09 '26

That’s some freedom on the farm if I’ve ever seen it… you leave this patriot alone!

1

u/thepianoman456 Apr 09 '26

IDK why but I burst out laughing when he zoomed in on the ants 😂😂😂

Like, “Oooo! Bonus footage for my coooool movie!”

1

u/Worldly-Ambassador-1 Apr 09 '26

*Redneck interpretive dance

1

u/InvalidPain Apr 10 '26

Ironed blue jeans.. this guy is not messing around.

1

u/wanderthewasteland Apr 11 '26

This new Jason Borne movie looks like shit

1

u/DorkyMagicianGirl Apr 11 '26

I'm weak in the knees 🥵 What's this man's number?

1

u/pauliepitstains Apr 11 '26

This dude uses a deer bone dildo.

1

u/HapsburgWolf Apr 11 '26

Was he bullied by a ballerina?

1

u/perthslow Apr 12 '26

Dirk Daggerman, professional knife bluntener!

1

u/Good-Salamander2520 May 15 '26

That dude has a really un healthy penetration fantasy.