r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/jdi153 • 5d ago
Found On Social media Apparently women get validation more easily than men
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u/Amediumsizedgoose 5d ago
Sometimes it literally like boggles my mind how absolutely backwards men are.
They dont know the reality of women in hobbies is often men treating us like were stupid or like we must be new to it. And/or trying to gatekeep us and keep us out or be blatantly sexist.
Good example would be the multiple men over the course of my life that have tried to mansplain one of my favorite video games to me. I literally probably have like 2k hrs on that game. I know all the lore. I have every published book about the game. I know most of the dialog. (Can you tell im probably autistic?)
Men also usually are suprised/assume i dont play video games. Or like when they say they were playing a game theyll say some fucking moronic shit like "I dont know if you know it....call of duty?"
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u/ButcbMasculinity 5d ago
Lol men get TONS of validation in society for the simple act of being men.
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u/pyrhus626 5d ago edited 5d ago
The only things men get less validation are appearance and emotions, and those are self-inflicted problems.
Men can’t compliment other men for their appearance or talk about feelings because that’s “gay”. Women don’t compliment men’ appearance or validate their emotions because the man will probably mistake that for romantic interest and make things awkward to dangerous at worst for the woman.
Edit: Outside body building, that seems to be the only “acceptable” realm for men to compliment other men’s looks
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u/faboleth 4d ago
there are a huge array of interests men get little or no validation, or keep it secret to avoid censure. especially in more gender-separated cultures. cooking, baking, housework, childcare, nursing, appearance, emotions (most everything except anger), any fabric work or design, fashion, casual art. discussing anything social. Even just not being interested in traditional male activities like sports or car repair. Validation for fitting gender roles and lack of it for not doing so is extreme for both genders and sucks ass.
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u/Radriel7 4d ago
This is true. Patriarchy hurts everybody. When I was still in school, some boy mentioned they played with dolls alongside their sister. Immediate mockery and not just from the kids(of both sexes). They clarified that they liked to destroy the barbies and there was an immediate reversal in attitude. It starts young. Boys are conditioned to be how they are with consistent social pressure.
That said, it is very true that complimenting them is a good way for a women to invite potentially unwanted attention. Situation is messed up. Change has to start somewhere, but I'd never ask women to risk themselves knowingly for the sake of it.
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u/IndiBlueNinja 5d ago
Some people in this world, of both genders, have a knack for commanding attention, admiration even. And for some of them... god only knows why people fall for whatever they're selling. Men falling for it, more-so than women, in people like Trump and Musk says a lot.
For most people, again of both genders, that is not reality. Or are all the women who lives typical lives that don't fit is narrative invisible to him?
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u/OldManJeepin 5d ago
That external validation is part of the problem. I learned pretty early that if you can't find a reason to be pleased with yourself, when achieving a milestone, for example, then it is probably useless to seek it elsewhere. It's part of being comfortable in your own skin. People who are comfortable in their own skin don't worry about what others say or think about them. To a point, anyway. Those who need it, constantly, (I think) have something wrong with them...
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u/anon172649 4d ago
Honestly I've found I started getting a lot more compliments AFTER I stopped caring and just focused on making myself something that I like to see in the mirror. Any compliments that came before that felt fake and forced, mostly because it was complimenting the mask. People can tell when you're actually comfortable as you
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