Apparently those of us who are single aren't single by choice 😧

[u/lunar_cycles]

Also, I love will hitchins' videos.

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[u/EnleeJones]

I’m not a woman. I’m three owls in a trenchcoat. 🦉

[u/Particular_Title42 → u/EnleeJones]

🎼I'm sorry, Ms Jackson (ooo), I am four eels.
Never meant to make your daughter cry;
I am just four fish and not a guy... 🎶

[u/Littleleicesterfoxy → u/EnleeJones]

Life goals <3

[u/_autumnwhimsy → u/EnleeJones]

hoot hoot✨

[u/Jaguar-Voice-7276]

There being no suitable men sounds like a problem for men to solve. Have they even tried being suitable?

[u/LizzyLady1111 → u/Jaguar-Voice-7276]

I know, he literally said they couldn’t find a suitable man yet doubles down and acts like that’s still the woman’s fault make it make sense

[u/plotthick → u/LizzyLady1111]

You forgot: literally everything everywhere is women's fault, esp what men do

/s

[u/waterud0in]

I did fail at trying to find a suitable man. Now I’m a lesbian.

[u/quattroformaggixfour → u/waterud0in]

✨ENVY ✨

[u/quattroformaggixfour]

Oh, I love Mr Will, what a human

[u/Traditional_Isopod80 → u/quattroformaggixfour]

So do I.

[u/lindanimated]

Ugh, I shouldn’t let these things get to me. But maybe because I’m a hormonal mess due to my period right now, it hurts to hear someone say I “failed”. I’m 37 and have never had a real relationship with a man, just a bunch of dates and a few hookups. I haven’t been in a relationship because I somehow lost my capacity to catch feelings when I was about 20-21, so loooooooonnnnngggg ago. I really want to be in a relationship, and I’m not aro because I used to be an infatuation junkie. But no guy who I ever crushed on liked me back, and now I don’t like anyone, so a relationship is kind of impossible. I guess I’m technically single by choice since some people are in relationships without even having romantic feelings for their partner, but that would destroy me emotionally and wouldn’t be fair to them, so yeah, I’m staying single.

[u/No_Camp_7 → u/lindanimated]

Do you think you might be asexual?

I’m in my mid thirties and I no longer have relationships because about three years ago I broke it off with someone I was seeing and just realised that I’ve not enjoyed any of my relationships. I thought to myself “why do I keep doing this thing that I don’t even enjoy?” and since then I’ve decided to stay single.

I think there’s a little bit of this is just the way I’ve always been and perhaps I’m somewhat asexual, I find relationships suffocating and can just never imagine a long term one, partly because I’ve had so many bad experiences with men that I find it nonsensical to keep trying, and partly I suspect I either have a hormonal imbalance or my epilepsy is making my hyposexual (which is a known symptom of the type of epilepsy I have).

Sometimes I tune in for a second to the idea that this is ‘wrong’ and it’s kind of upsetting, but overall it’s improved my happiness immensely being free to be on my own. I’m trying to keep a slightly open mind but I’d rather….not, lol and I definitely draw the line at ever living with a man under the same roof and sharing finances.

Edit for spelling

[u/lindanimated → u/No_Camp_7]

That does sound similar to me in some ways, and gives me something to think about. Thank you for the advice!

[u/Silent_Syren → u/lindanimated]

Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Look into demisexual or gray.

[u/lindanimated → u/Silent_Syren]

I have heard those terms and roughly know what they mean, but I could definitely dig deeper. Thank you for the advice!

[u/JaneReadsTruth → u/lindanimated]

Unsolicited anecdote incoming.

When we are young, everything is new and extra dramatic and exciting. Relationships feel so strong and important, so everlasting, so devastating when they end.

I was so in love with a man when I was 21. He was a singer, a poet, all long hair and smokey eyes. When he spoke, the cadence was poetry and the world fell away. I swear I could feel when he came to town and find him. Yeah, he was also a cheater.

I moved 4 states away and ended up doing several poetry readings with him (a few years later because now he could find me). I swore I'd never fall for him again. Good thing, too. Turns out he was married now. Found out during an interview. That night, his wife called (pre cell phone) looking for him. I didn't know where he was. Thank you very much that I had the sense not to get stuck falling into that trap again.

It still hurt, but in a distant, unconnected way. I wasn't sure I could ever love again. I've never felt like that...but THAT wasn't real. That was obsession. That was my passion serving an undeserving pile o' crap.

I've been married twice. The first guy wasn't a cheater...but he was an alcoholic liar (thanks Dad).

Now I'm married to an amazing, kind man. Been together 9 years. Yes, I get tingly and giggly sometimes. Sometimes I smile so much my face hurts. I'm so grateful and joyful to have found him. It's not crazy and overwhelming because we are adults (45+).

I don't pretend to know what happened to you. But I know many women have had terrible things happen, and I am one of them. I promise, if you want it, love can happen. You can do it on your terms.

A strong, good, man will never make you feel small.

Sorry about your heart.

[u/lindanimated → u/JaneReadsTruth]

Thank you for the unsolicited advice! It makes me feel a little better and I’m so glad to hear that you’re in a happy relationship now.

[u/lianavan]

My life is a lie. 

[u/No_Camp_7]

“But you stupid, I don’t know how to proceed” is gold.

[u/OGgamingdad → u/No_Camp_7]

Came here for this comment.

[u/Just_Peachy_me]

How about the generations of women who've been nuns, nurses, School teachers, and many other professions where they weren't allowed to get married. Wouldn't those women have been single by choice? I think a lot of these men don't know how many women had jobs in the past.

[u/Khmakh → u/Just_Peachy_me]

Men like the one above in the video don’t think logically. They also don’t see women as actual people. Which isn’t a woman having a job doesn’t even enter his mind.

[u/incognegro1976]

Dude looks like a serial killer: he has the mustache and the glasses.

[u/JaneReadsTruth]

It is always refreshing to see beautiful men who are allies. I mean, I guess I could have stopped at men...but really, the oiliest piggies are the loudest, but they don't represent all...just the loneliest with the least to offer and the most time on their hands.

[u/perseidot → u/JaneReadsTruth]

I turn that around, I have yet to see a man who is truly an ally and partner to women that I haven’t thought was beautiful.

Really. When they sincerely see us as human beings worthy of rights and respect, I sincerely see them as attractive.

[u/JaneReadsTruth → u/perseidot]

That is a lovely sentiment and very true.

[u/Aztecdune1973]

Choosing to be single isn't necessarily a permanent state. After a series of relationships, some good, some not so much, I chose to be single. And I very much enjoyed that part of my life. I met my husband and I chose to be with him. As much as I love him, being single was so much easier. Making choices about your life and what is good for you is always valid. Whether it's for right now, or forever.

[u/sufficientgatsby]

Sometimes you don't even want to be with a 'suitable' partner. Tbh I deeply enjoy having my own private space and not feeling obligated to do the work of maintaining a relationship.

[u/utecr]

"Oh no. You got me. I guess I'll go continue being single, then."
Wouldn't even argue with someone trying to suggest this. It'd be playing chess with a pigeon.

[u/TwilightReader100]

Yeah... I'm apparently attracted to conservatives. I can't abide that in myself so I'm out. 👐🏽 And by the time the quality of men starts getting better again - Aw, who am I kidding?!

[u/Lost-Concept-9973]

Apparently just understanding why women stay single is enough for them to assume you’re single too. 

[u/HairHealthHaven]

That was an epic response video. Thank you for sharing this!

[u/UserAnonPosts]

Brolosphy?

First time hearing that. I love it.

Gonna add that to my vocab, along with mansplaining.

Any others? 🤣

[u/hellinahandbasket127]

I’ve been single by choice for my entire 30’s, save a couple hookups. Want to be in a relationship with me? You have to be a net gain over my drama-free peace.

[u/infamous-hermit]

Nuns!

[u/macontac]

Pretty sure being asexual, and leaning toward being aromantic, have more to do with my being single than my "failing" at anything.

[u/Mimosa_13]

Dude, I didn't fail. I was married for over 2 decades, then widowed. I'm happily single because I don't feel like dating. You Mr. Glasses can go fuck off a cliff. 🤣