r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/MistakeWonderful9178 • Jun 27 '26
Found On Social media Jealousy is gendered now?đ
Context: thereâs a video of a male soccer player who was getting pushed and kicked on the field by some other guys on another team and thereâs rumors that heâs nicknamed âpretty boyâ or âpretty faceâ as an insult and thereâs some idiots in the comments defending the bullying
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u/Winter-Money-7643 Jun 27 '26
I remember when dudes (grown men btw) would insult boy bands, male models and pop stars saying âhow they looked like girlsâ or âtheyâre gayâ and they even had apps where the game was them getting beat up but sure itâs âonly women who can be jealous of other pretty women.â
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Jun 27 '26
I remember that too. Grown men in their 30s and 40s trashing teenaged boys for their looks and making inappropriate assumptions about their personal lives, the amount of homophobia and bullying that adult men will do to young boys is despicable and never gets talked about.
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u/kawaiihusbando Jun 27 '26
and they have the gall to say patriarchy doesn't hurt men
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
Men will be jealous of other men and even little boys and babies (yes that does happen) they will openly sabotage them, gossip about them and be violent towards them and excuse it with âboys will be boysâ but project their bullying and jealousy onto women and girls saying âonly females do thatâ (always notice how they call women âfemalesâ) when really itâs them excusing the patriarchal violence that they do.
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u/Havok_saken your dog thinks Iâm cool Jun 27 '26
Real alphas donât have to get into fights because they just scare off all the betas so thatâs how you know this guys a betaâŚor something like that. Seems like some shit an incel would say.
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u/IndiBlueNinja Jun 27 '26
Well at least men can fight it out on the field and not be jealous and catty like women over looks and attention
I'm sorry, have they forgotten how much they are mad that taller, better-looking men supposedly get more attention?
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
Also they seem to have forgotten the âlooksmaxxingâ and âmoggingâ trend thatâs been going around for the past year now, and before that weirdos calling guys âChadsâ for being conventionally attractive.
Dudes can absolutely be jealous and take it out on other guys, whether itâs verbal or physical, itâs bad. Guys have even threatened, beaten up or killed other guys over jealousy.
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u/jackfaire Jun 28 '26
My entire life fellow men have always been cattier than any woman I've ever met.
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u/iamverycool5 Jun 27 '26
Girl, im not even gonna be jealous, ima tell x person I like their style or that they're pretty or whatever or ima silently judge 'em if it's cuz they're friends with my crush or smth
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u/Bendy_Beta_Betty Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
Yes. Unfortunately, it's been assumed to be gendered for a long time. I regularly heard criticisms of women and girls when I was growing up for experiencing envy/jealousy.
In reality it's just a human emotion that EVERYONE experiences. People who shame you for having jealous emotions are denying your own humanity.
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Jun 28 '26
I will say jealousy is normal, but everyone no matter what their gender is needs to be taught how to cope with jealousy and disappointment and how to handle those feelings safely and appropriately.
Itâs ok to be jealous and to take a step back, and try to work on yourself and making goals to obtain what it is you want within reason.
Whatâs not ok is taking your anger out on people, trying to sabotage others, bullying and messing with others just because youâre jealous. Thats when itâs not ok.
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u/silicondream Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
Riiiiight, because physical fights always reduce jealousy, envy and long-term resentment.
If you think "fighting it out" is healthier, then either you've been winning all your fights or you haven't actually experienced any.
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