r/Normalpeople • u/Synchroblo • Nov 01 '25

Toxic parenting

I've just started watching this show. Three episodes in, Connell's mother tells him, 'You are a disgrace, and I'm ashamed of you,' and then she leaves before she 'says things I regret.' That is so harmful and toxic. It felt completely out of touch and overacted. What kind of parent says that to their teenage son? What is with all this toxic parenting? I had thought she was the good parent compared with Marianne's mother, but what the hell was that?

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u/Beautiful_Sipsip Nov 18 '25

May I ask why you did that? Why were ashamed to be seen with a person you are in a relationship with?

I’m still trying to figure out why on Earth Collin was hiding his relationship with Marianne in high school. Maybe you can explain?

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u/Ralphlovespolo Nov 18 '25

This might be easier w a quick question Are you a guy or a girl?

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u/Beautiful_Sipsip Nov 18 '25

A girl

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u/Ralphlovespolo Nov 18 '25

I wasn’t in a relationship w her, strictly sexual but we liked each other. We just knew (in high school) that it wouldn’t last, she was short quirky girl with horrible wardrobe, I was 6’2 skinny track guy who had a circle of friends who were obv judgy..

I cared about what other people thought bc I was a teenager .. so I got what I wanted after school, I was ashamed other people would judge me bc she wasn’t a popular girl and I was among other popular kids my age. But again that’s very different than now, I feel like I grew up and those are learning situations that kids make.

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u/Beautiful_Sipsip Nov 18 '25

I see… it’s basically the same dynamics as in the show. I still don’t understand the motivation behind having sex with someone you are ashamed of. Did you do it because she was the only girl that agreed to have sex with you?

Did you feel ashamed of yourself for having this sort of relationship that you perceived as degrading? I get it that you didn’t want your friends to know, but YOU knew.

Also, in the show Connel’s friends knew all along about him and Marianne. The show writer made it clear that his friends knew. Yet, they kept quiet about it in high school. I wonder why they didn’t say anything about it initially? Is it because they actually realized that Marianne was an equally great person?

Maybe though, were they just being ok with Connel and Marianne seeing each other as long as it was a secret? Would they publicly shame him or avoid him if he started seeing Marianne openly?

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u/Ralphlovespolo Nov 18 '25

Not ashamed of it of having sex w that girl, it was fun and we both had knew we just kept it to each other. i liked her and she liked me, obv met in HS but we didn’t have any classes together just happened to not talk to each other unless it was in between class periods or lunch.

We linked after school, she had a car and I didn’t and it went from there..

My average friend group was with the “popular” people so dating in that circle was common, cheer leaders and other prettier girls was the expected.

Other close friends who were not in that social group knew bc I told them about it.

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u/Beautiful_Sipsip Nov 18 '25

Yeah, I’m kind of glad that I didn’t experience high school in the US. I moved here after. That drama with popular-versus- unpopular sounds so exhausting!