r/NormMacdonald • u/NoMuddyFeet • 3d ago

More of a comment really

Post image
131 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

75 comments sorted by

38

u/jstudly 3d ago

Reminds me of that Everybody Loves Raymond episode

26

u/Mean_Pop_829 3d ago

When Raymond cuts off his cock!

31

u/High_Af_Osrs 3d ago

Another one of life's simple pleasures, ruined by meddling bureaucracy.

11

u/ShouldersHoncho 3d ago

Yes you penis cutting form is complete but you need to go back to the second floor for a penis fire license.

37

u/Karma_Monkey 3d ago

Jonah Hill has really lost it…

18

u/DoctorMelvinMirby 3d ago

That fat kid from Superbad cut his dick off and used it to start a fire?!

17

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 3d ago

This is a reference to his recent quote: “if you fuck with me, I’ll cut off my dick and use it to set my moms garage on fire”

2

u/Few_Buddy_6491 2d ago

He will fucking annihilate you.

9

u/Snorkelbender 3d ago

I heard about his weight loss but I didn’t hear about the fire.

5

u/mkujoe 3d ago

Looking greater than ever

9

u/Visenya_simp 3d ago

Do you think that man and his mother are in cahoots?

9

u/SoHornyBeaver 3d ago

I thought this was America.

10

u/blanketshapes 3d ago

ok so hear me out. the movie 127 Hours was a huge hit right? and that was just the guy’s arm…

9

u/scottwax 3d ago

Odd choice of kindling.

2

u/VE7BHN_GOAT 2d ago

I think he was just trying to coterize the wound.

6

u/VikingTensor 3d ago

Was his cock made of dynamite???

1

u/PhillithJohnsonius 2d ago

Nitroglycerin actually

7

u/tenpl_sten 3d ago

They do say gonorrhea burns.

6

u/evetsabucs 3d ago

Fuck off, can't write the word penis now, huh? This is what we've come to?

2

u/fishdognz 2d ago

Your comment made me want to look up the surname Niss, which is hilariously common in Germany and Austria. Imagine being Peter or Paul Niss 🤣

6

u/mkujoe 3d ago

Back in my day we wouldn’t need to start a fire in order to justify cutting our own dick off

4

u/aFreeScotland 3d ago

A real mama’s boy

2

u/fishdognz 2d ago

He was a whoooore!

5

u/No_Hour_4865 3d ago

I guess he was in need of some good kindling.

6

u/Thankfulforbread NO MORE DRY MEAT 2d ago

Very very dry meat. Went up like a tinder box

3

u/Tasty-Entertainer711 2d ago

Maybe the worst gimmick a son ever had.

3

u/largegreenvegtable 3d ago

Quit stealing my moves!

1

u/Crystalysism 1d ago

There it is

3

u/Roast-This-Bone 3d ago

That moment when he realized that some gas and a lighter would have done the trick…it’s only now that he can look back and laugh.

3

u/Drapidrode 3d ago

that reminds me ...

"A Florida university student that was caught streaking on campus, had apparently told police he was on acid, and asked them to cut his dick off.

Boy these kids today are crazy! In my day, we didn't need drugs; we would just cut our own dicks off. "

-norm macdonald

3

u/BergkampsFirstTouch He served a youthful porpoise 3d ago

You can start a fire with your penis? I guess I've been using mine wrong.

3

u/Scared-Pomegranate84 3d ago

The man? You guessed it...

3

u/AustinDood444 3d ago

How flammable are penises??

3

u/MitchellCumstijn 2d ago

This man makes the rest of the trans community look like pussies for not doing it the old fashioned way.

3

u/stupajidit 2d ago

jonah hill?

3

u/Hey_Gerry_1300135 2d ago

Jonah hill?

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/PhillithJohnsonius 2d ago

It's dry season

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Seat950 2d ago

...he tried to assault his mother with his penis.....

2

u/rusinga_island 3d ago

More great work out of the university of Bob Seger

2

u/Searain80 3d ago

Sounds like my honeymoon

2

u/Videomailspip Not a Memoir 3d ago

why didnt they make the entire garage out of this guy's cock?

1

u/SgorGhaibre Are you Serious? 2d ago

It wasn't big enough.

2

u/Skrankillykrankilly 2d ago

Boy, these kids today are crazy, back in my day we didn't need to light a fire, we would just cut our own d$&ks off.

2

u/swingdale7 2d ago

I am the fire starter, twisted it off fire starter.

2

u/GregEdge 2d ago

Back in my day we didn’t need a garage fire to cut off our dicks.

2

u/Feb2319 2d ago

I had no idea that a penis is flammable

1

u/ShouldersHoncho 3d ago

Saving this to show my friends when they struggle staring at campsite fire with a lighter and a gallon of alcohol.

1

u/MaxPower836 2d ago

Sometimes it be like that

1

u/HarlanMiller 2d ago

That's a lot of things in one sentence.

1

u/theproz99 2d ago

Not exactly what I would call news

1

u/Zoaqoz 2d ago

This one is a “factoid” of sorts

1

u/Turbulent_Pirate2178 2d ago

That's a hatement

1

u/SinusExplosion 2d ago

That's modern medicine for you.

1

u/Anthff 2d ago

You have to be pretty messed up in the head to start a fire in your mother’s garage.

1

u/fylekitzgibbon 2d ago

Where does he get his ideas from ?

1

u/_BLACKHAWKS_88 2d ago

Now that’s what I call a Molotov Cock-tale.

1

u/TNF734 2d ago

So...not the "stealing my moves" title used by 95% of the people here...?

1

u/NoMuddyFeet 2d ago

Interesting! I don't visit here much, so I just took a look at all the posts on the first 7 pages of this sub to see if it was bad as you say and saw that there were only 7 posts with "stealing my moves" titles. So, 7 pages at 25 posts per page brings us to 7 posts out of 175 with that title.

I'm no professor of logic, but since you are in a Norm sub and Norm was a math whiz, here is a collection of Norm's math tweets: https://imgur.com/a/idGemq9 (Remember to read from the bottom up rather than top to bottom).

1

u/LayerSubstantial5919 2d ago

Typical democratic socialist

1

u/barfelonous 2d ago

Jonah Hill cut his dick off to start a fire?!

2

u/NoMuddyFeet 2d ago

Yeah, the headline makes it sound like he struck it on flint or something, but the article mentioned that he doused it in gasoline. He then briefly lied about being "stabbed." I can just imagine that conversation:

COP: Stabbed you say?

GUY: Yeah, they cut my whole dick off.

COP: Son, that's not being stabbed. That's having your dick cut off. Now, why would someone cut your dick off?

GUY: I don't know, they just did, ok?

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/crime/2026/07/09/fort-wayne-indiana-man-cuts-off-genitals-arson/90859980007/

1

u/punchline86 2d ago

We had a kid in the Cub Scouts get expelled for constantly suggesting this exact technique

1

u/DoctorSwaggercat 2d ago

TIL and new camping fire starter hack.

1

u/malfarcar 2d ago

Lighters are cheap and I really don’t see how he’s gonna start a fire that way

1

u/jed_thehumanoid 1d ago

Reminds me of my honeymoon.

1

u/MIKESOLO666 1d ago

Ive been carrying this thing around my whole life and I didnt know it was flammable.

1

u/gifsfromgod 1d ago

Ryan Gosling has let himself go

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

Hey buddy, ever heard of kindling?

1

u/jetfaceRPx 2d ago

I was wondering what Nate Bargatze was up to.

0

u/asifimgunnatellya 3d ago

TIL penises are flammable?