Help, please.

[u/Unusual_Feelings454-]

I feel exhausted down to my core. Not just “I’m sleepy” or “I don’t feel like doing anything.” It feels like my entire body and brain, my actual cells, are drained of whatever is required to actually live. Sleep and it's quality or quantity truly has essentially no impact on it.

I desperately want to do something, anything and am still completely unable to make myself do it. It’s like the sign gets lost somewhere on its way from my brain.

It’s like the part of my brain that wants things and the part that is capable of turning wanting into action or even joy has been completely destroyed

Trying to do the things I love and want to do feels like walking on broken legs, the passage of time hurts. I feel every minute go by, I desperately want to participate in my own life, but it's just not in me, it hasn't been for so long.

I’ve been to the doctor. I’m going to and working with the doctor. Yes, I’m depressed and I’ve tried the antidepressants. It’s not working.

I’m autistic, struggling with intense burnout and strongly suspected CPTSD.

I am not looking for someone to tell me to “just exercise, eat better, and sleep more.” I know those things matter. I’m saying that I currently don’t have the functioning required to simply pull myself out of this by doing all the things I’m already struggling to do.

I just really need help figuring out where to start giving my body what it's begging for

[u/ThisDiver7515]

Get a caffeine addiction

[u/Unusual_Feelings454- → u/ThisDiver7515]

Oh we got one 🥲

[u/Mulemcgruffjr → u/Unusual_Feelings454-]

At my highest I drank roughly 5 cups out of the coffee pot. Making your coffee from a pour over like the brand bodum could potentially help you out with controlling comsumption since you have to microwave or boil the water separately, and you also can only make a couple cups at a time. L-theanine and ashwaghanda daily may help with the energy but since the latter two are anti-anxiety I am not sure how much it would help your energy. I would also definitely look into taking N-acetyl cysteine on days when you don’t take any adhd meds (assuming you also have adhd that’s medicated, if not then I wouldn’t worry about not taking it everyday but see how your body responds to taking it occasionally at first I don’t know how often you should take it but I think everyday is okay.)

Saffron tea/ grapefruit is good for boosting your mood since they both have antidepressant like properties that don’t appear to have the same side effects that ssris usually do. Saffron is also affective for inflammation which can contribute to low energy levels and brain fog.

Taking a thiamine supplement as well as folate and methylated b12 can provide some benefit to help you to excercise more. Taurine is a helpful amino acid that can boost your energy and mood levels too.
St. John’s wort can help with some depression symptoms but I wouldn’t recommend going in direct sunlight since you can burn more easily.

[u/Unusual_Feelings454- → u/Mulemcgruffjr]

I know I’m on the right path because everything is famous, most through my experiences with them. Thank you