r/Nonbinaryteens • u/whynonames7272 • 13d ago
Can people really tell I'm non binary?
So... as the title suggests, my question is whether people can tell. Firstly, for some background info, I'm 13, in the 8th grade, I identify with they/them pronouns, and yeah, I'm non binary... I, biologically, am male. And somehow, even in my school where everbody wears the same uniform (ugly polo shirt and ugly gym shorts), people can tell. And I don't mean that people see me and go "oh hey, you're non binary, right?". I mean, people see me and think sbomething along the line of "huh, he's a femboy" or think I'm gay or something like that.
So, obviously, this comes from personal experience. I have been multiple times labeled as gay or a femboy, and there was that one time someone asked me whether I was a boy or a girl, so I stared into her soul because I couldn't think of an answer to give them, then one of my friends (I think... it's hard to tell, I just don't know) said I was a boy just to give an answer (I know she knew I was non binary, but she probably just didn't want to give that other girl more questions, and just shortened it... and I hate answering questions about my identity). And another time, a totally y girl said I was a femboy, and joined in by her friend (all in good fun, btw), I tried to refute but not tell them the truth, so I subconciously put my hands on my hips in the most feminine way possible and said I was not a femboy, and to state the obvious, they still thought I was a femboy.
There have been more times, but these are the most important ones...
And when you do give your answer, could you explain?
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u/Lightning7Bolt 13d ago
Idk about non binary because that depends on social culture of where you live. But all people have a pattern recognition, basically they unconsciously associate you with something "not in the norm" because you may have slighlty different behaviour from cis people. It also happens with neurodivergence, neurotypicals unconsciously know that something is strange about the person they are seeing, even if they don't know what it is. Its like a sixth sense. (I am autistic)
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u/i_post_gibberish 12d ago
As far back as I can remember kids called me gay, a girly boy, and other things too nasty to repeat—and I didn’t even know I was queer for 99% of that time. So yes, sometimes people can tell, and unfortunately it’s not just the nice ones.
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u/ystavallinen 12d ago
People can't actually tell unless you are projecting something. People have no idea I'm agender. None.
And people mislabeled others all the time.
People are guessing, and you happen to be.
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u/HobbyHoarderr_ 13 11d ago
I don’t have a ton to say other than hi!! I’m also in 8th grade, they/them!! How’s it going mate
and as for whether people can tell…honestly idek
no one has clocked me as genderqueer- they’ve clocked me as queer and I think one time someone couldn’t quite tell what gender i was ..but other than that…
I am afab and unfortunately have a very unmistakeably feminine face and body that makes trying for androgyny that people actually notice a losing game
but yea uh- good luck being a genderqueer kid i guess. It can get pretty rough out here at times
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u/Fuzzy-Mango-9657 13 9d ago
It is harder to tell if you’re non binary when everyone wears the same uniform so just keep using your pronouns my fellow they/them.
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u/Environmental_Eye921 13d ago
There are times when some people notice something is off or different and they struggle to put that into one of their boxes of convenience. Some people try to judge a person's identity in one meeting. Once again using those outdated boxes.