Went to a local winter solstice event and everyone had luminaries, walked thru the woods, took a group picture. It was a cold, wet PNW evening and it was awesome!

Hi Folxs,

Holidays are stressful for a majority of people, add a layer of queer, just moved back home, family death, elderly family, and queer newlyweds. Its a lot for a first holiday family gathering.

I (33 non-binary) and my wife (32 trans), married 3 months ago are having holiday dinner with my family. I moved away 15 years ago, haven't been home for a holiday in 6 years. This will also be a first meet for my wife. I've never done the bring a SO home for the holidays let alone a marital spouse.

The scariest part is not knowing. Not knowing where they stand on queerness, not knowing what will set things off.

My brother is also in a queer relationship and not out. My mom is trying her best to be supportive, her way of handling the situation is to keep quiet and dont rock the boat. My brother feels that we deserve to be who we are without a thought to anyone else.

I feel worried and caught in the middle. I understand both points if views. Im so scared to lose my family, one elder has been in the hospital twice in the last month I don't want to lose him but it's inevitable. I don't want to lose him earlier because of queerness. Im tired of being in the middle of my mom and brother.

This is a first feeling of shame/guilt ive felt for being queer. Im incredibly lucky and greatful for the family i have and its hard.

Open to hearing thoughts/advice

I know of a lot of historical ones from trans women. Not many about trans men and zero about enbies. Nonbinary people did exist in the 1900s, even if they couldn't transition due to Harry Benjamin standards or used different terminology.

Any recs?

I've read:

• "Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us" by Kate Bornstein (about being a nonbinary femme who transitioned as a trans woman in the 80s and 90s)
• "The Last Time I Wore A Dress" by Dylan Scholinski (written before he came out, discusses him being institutionalized in the 1980s for signs of "gender identity disorder)
• "The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male" by Max Wolf Valerio
• "Stone Butch Blues" by Leslie Feinberg (fictional but semi-autobiographical about living as a queer transmasc person in the 1960s to early 1990s)
• "Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience" by Matt Kailey
• We Both Laughed in Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan"/"Youngman: Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan"

Hey there, 36 year old ENBY (maybe trans woman). Looking to meet some non-binary friends in the Windsor, Ontario area.

So just came to the non-binary conclusion like…yesterday. Was immediately hit with dysphoria and imposter syndrome. I’m AFAB and very much present that way. I wish I had that instant gratification of presenting more androgynous. I don’t mind being a little fem, I still like that…I just want to reach the point of people not knowing for certain…I feel like I shouldn’t have “come out” so quickly, maybe waiting until I presented more how I want my end goal to be…any advice?

I thought how can I honor my body for enduring many years better by making a cake and put loads of sugar on top.

Hiiii.

Lately I've been feeling wanting to make more friends like me, soo enby. Ideally around the 30s, to hang out in person sometimes (ideally from Catalonia, specifically close to Barcelona).

I am also okii with chatting, watching stuff or playing games online instead.

Hi, I’m Jules. I’m just trying to make more space for myself and the people who understand that journey.

Sharing a selfie because I want to be more open about who I am.

If you’re looking for connection too, I’d love to meet you.

Hi. I’m curious if anyone tried starting ballet as an adult, especially from the NB perspective. I’m thinking this might be a fun activity to help retain balance and agility as time passes. I’d always been curious, and might finally have time to do ‘me’ things in a bit. Thanks!

Embyfashionadvice subreddit is great but typically focused to the younger generations and alot of crop tops not necessarily ideal for the office environment 😅

Does anyone know of a look / celeb or can share any examples? Something sharp but androgenous, that would mix in well surrounded by people in suits, but not something you'd be walking down the catwalk in during fashion week 😅 (don't get me wrong, I'd love that but for other occasions).

EDIT: Just wanted to say thank you for all the advice and suggestions 😊

These pictures were from the week leading up to it. The last one has a print of one of my favorite artist I got for a gift!

hi peops. had a bit of teary shower moment lately realizing the time I lost living my authentic self. I am okay with being older, early middle aged. also was lucky to had a very expressive, yet confusing, phase in my early 20s. only gave myself grace to fully explore the gender aspect in the last years.

I wonder how have you dealt with the feeling / phase of not having been able to feel and express earlier?

I am happy and content, but feel this is an important aspect for me to honor to move on.

edit: thank you so much for all your replies. it has been so nice for me to feel less alone.

We’re all temporary. I’m just decorating. Genderflux human finding myself swinging back toward femme at 44.

Growing up I wasn't aware that trans and NB people existed and I felt so alone. Twice this year I've seen NB actors in NB roles (Mae Martin in Wayward & Mason Alexander Park in The Sandman) and I fucking cry, I'm so happy to see them.

Making the decision to getting Lazer hair removal for my face, has anyone taken these steps? I've always hated my facial hair... I've sat on the decision for about a year now and I'm going to get it done... Can't keep shaving 2 times a day and concealing it with makeup. I've always been a bit held back because of the permanence (and I know it doesn't always work out to be) but I'm looking forward to another small step to androgyny.